this post was submitted on 30 Mar 2024
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Lemmy Shitpost

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all 29 comments
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[–] [email protected] 44 points 1 year ago (3 children)

I think we've all had that one where you needed to push with your calves, triceps and eyelids.

[–] [email protected] 40 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Push? Naw. But I've had food poisoning and you feel like you need to hold on to something nailed down.

Then, as a fun side quest, you start vomiting too. Forward lean, trashcan ahead, Jesus take the wheel

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago

You, sir, have a way with words.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I never had anything like this, you people need to eat more vegetables.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

This is the same as the people who always suggest you drink more water without actually knowing anything about the situation.

[–] [email protected] 32 points 1 year ago

The lack of separation between the toes indicating socks stayed on and no grip marks means it could've been worse. When you get that irresistible feel that you have to remove all clothing is when you're in for a life changing experience.

[–] [email protected] 24 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Pro tip: get a small folding stool to place your feet on. Straightens out the old poo pipe

[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Isn't that what that blue thing is to the right of the toilet?

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Nah that's a TV dinner tray

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

Put that io pipe to work

[–] [email protected] 22 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I don't see anything to clench teeth on...rookie mistake!

[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 year ago

A roll of tp

[–] [email protected] 20 points 1 year ago (1 children)

You're all alone, scared, sweating, fuckin' leg shaking, dreading having to reach back there, and, indeed, you know it's your life on the line. I've only been on that battlefield once in my life and I gotta say, it changes you. Hopefully it also changes your diet.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

I'll try to eat less norovirus in the future

[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

A Lemmy shit post

[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 year ago

Bro was about to shit himself to space

[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 year ago

Gold title right there

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Your hands were open it can't have been too bad. Grip marks and pulled threads would have been worrying.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Hopefully this isn’t someone testing out a new dance move. Twerking toilets does not need to be the next big TikTok event.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

I take it you haven't seen skibidi toilet

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)

it's an extremely popular among late Gen z and gen alpha gmod animated series on YouTube.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

I googled it, and it’s terrifying. Bad idea to Google that before bed. Thank you for enlightening me on that. I will never look at the toilet the same way again.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago
[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

I remember when the rumbly tummy pain last hit, I was sure I was done and went to lay down in the empty tub until the pain subsided and then went back to the can for awhile. Call it half-time.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

You guys don't have a Squatty Potty?