this post was submitted on 01 Apr 2024
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NonCredibleDefense

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A community for your defence shitposting needs

Rules

1. Be niceDo not make personal attacks against each other, call for violence against anyone, or intentionally antagonize people in the comment sections.

2. Explain incorrect defense articles and takes

If you want to post a non-credible take, it must be from a "credible" source (news article, politician, or military leader) and must have a comment laying out exactly why it's non-credible. Low-hanging fruit such as random Twitter and YouTube comments belong in the Matrix chat.

3. Content must be relevant

Posts must be about military hardware or international security/defense. This is not the page to fawn over Youtube personalities, simp over political leaders, or discuss other areas of international policy.

4. No racism / hatespeech

No slurs. No advocating for the killing of people or insulting them based on physical, religious, or ideological traits.

5. No politics

We don't care if you're Republican, Democrat, Socialist, Stalinist, Baathist, or some other hot mess. Leave it at the door. This applies to comments as well.

6. No seriousposting

We don't want your uncut war footage, fundraisers, credible news articles, or other such things. The world is already serious enough as it is.

7. No classified material

Classified ‘western’ information is off limits regardless of how "open source" and "easy to find" it is.

8. Source artwork

If you use somebody's art in your post or as your post, the OP must provide a direct link to the art's source in the comment section, or a good reason why this was not possible (such as the artist deleting their account). The source should be a place that the artist themselves uploaded the art. A booru is not a source. A watermark is not a source.

9. No low-effort posts

No egregiously low effort posts. E.g. screenshots, recent reposts, simple reaction & template memes, and images with the punchline in the title. Put these in weekly Matrix chat instead.

10. Don't get us banned

No brigading or harassing other communities. Do not post memes with a "haha people that I hate died… haha" punchline or violating the sh.itjust.works rules (below). This includes content illegal in Canada.

11. No misinformation

NCD exists to make fun of misinformation, not to spread it. Make outlandish claims, but if your take doesn’t show signs of satire or exaggeration it will be removed. Misleading content may result in a ban. Regardless of source, don’t post obvious propaganda or fake news. Double-check facts and don't be an idiot.


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[–] [email protected] 71 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Its only stealthy at night (they just painted it black)

[–] [email protected] 46 points 1 year ago (1 children)

They forgot to take the LED lights off.

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[–] [email protected] 47 points 1 year ago (6 children)

A rifle scope that can see through walls.

[–] [email protected] 92 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

It does this by 'inverting' what can be seen through.

It can't see through air.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 year ago
[–] [email protected] 27 points 1 year ago (3 children)

It has a negative magnification: it's a fisheye lens.

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[–] [email protected] 23 points 1 year ago

You can see through more than walls, you can see through everything! ...so all you can see is the empty void

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[–] [email protected] 41 points 1 year ago (3 children)

A weapon system that spreads peace, love, and freedom indiscriminately.

[–] [email protected] 32 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Indiscriminately across all of space and time... which is mostly empty.

[–] [email protected] 33 points 1 year ago

So when it averages out, it's actually less effective than cat videos.

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[–] [email protected] 34 points 1 year ago (8 children)
[–] [email protected] 48 points 1 year ago

The plan works perfectly. You are not in charge of the hive mind.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 1 year ago

Tear gas has been converted to cat nip gas.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 year ago

They're all still behave like a normal cat.

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[–] [email protected] 28 points 1 year ago (6 children)

An APC that only needs the power of the sun to run; no fuels.

[–] [email protected] 47 points 1 year ago

It needs the power of the whole Sun

[–] [email protected] 29 points 1 year ago (1 children)

The battery for the solar panels is so big, there's only space for a driver and one passenger

[–] [email protected] 38 points 1 year ago (2 children)
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[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 year ago

It can only move 1 inch per hour.

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[–] [email protected] 21 points 1 year ago (2 children)

It’s a plug in hybrid and silent like a Prius under 5mph.

[–] [email protected] 32 points 1 year ago (2 children)

It uses a standard US household wall plug (hard wired to the vehicle), and is extremely loud above 5mph.

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[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Max reverse speed is also capped at 5mph.

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[–] [email protected] 20 points 1 year ago (2 children)

A sword that appears in your hand whenever you need it, and then disappears again when you don't.

[–] [email protected] 28 points 1 year ago (1 children)

In appears IN your hand, ripping your muscles and tearing your skin

Your hand ends up looking like you played with super glue and fireworks

Also, you can only summon it twice before you run out of hands

[–] [email protected] 19 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Heh, also you don't "summon" it... it appears whenever you need it.

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[–] [email protected] 20 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (7 children)

It appears while being held by the blade.

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[–] [email protected] 19 points 1 year ago (3 children)
[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 year ago

That's a downside - imagine an AI that can't draw trying to differenciate between a friend of foe. it just shoots everyone and their cat

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[–] [email protected] 19 points 1 year ago (2 children)

A gauntlet that lets you control metal like magneto.

[–] [email protected] 46 points 1 year ago (2 children)
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[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 year ago (5 children)

A gun that switched everyone's gender but not their sex.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 year ago

It always fires twice in rapid succession

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[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 year ago (4 children)

A button that makes the backdoor in enemy C&C softwere.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 year ago

The backdoor gives you access to the enemy's copy of C&C: Red Alert.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 year ago

....turns out the latest upgrade to your c and c software was stolen from the enemy by cyber squad, and most of your assets on the southern front are now controlled by five primary school cs:go players in Fulham.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 year ago (2 children)

It's spotted within 5 minutes by some nerd who noticed that the program took an extra ten seconds to load and immediately wanted to know why.

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[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 year ago (4 children)

Dima, Ivan, I need weapon from you that only hurts bad guys!

[–] [email protected] 28 points 1 year ago

The device fails because moral relativism (as discussed by philosophers like Gilbert Harman) and the complexity of ethical theories (such as utilitarianism by John Stuart Mill and deontology by Immanuel Kant) make it impossible for a machine to accurately judge "bad" actions or intentions, given the deep subjectivity and cultural variance in ethics.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 year ago

it only hurts them, cannot actually incapacitate or kill them. you have a torture device. task failed successfully?

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[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Too stealthy. Crews can't find it.

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[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 year ago (4 children)

It can pierce through any armor.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 year ago

But only if no one is wearing it.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 year ago

But only the armor. Bullet passes through helmet, stops when it hits skull.

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[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 year ago (3 children)

Robotic Christopher Walken.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 year ago (2 children)
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[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 year ago (2 children)

a hydrogen powered artillery cannon with 2 kamikazi drones equipped

[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 year ago (1 children)

The hydrogen can only be inserted in solid form by hand

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