As others have said, i don't think there's a single 'real' you behind some mask. But I do think that that being around some people or in some situations requires a lot of conscious effort to make things work. And on the other side, there are people who make us feel safe, or bring the best out of us, or just inspire us to have fun.
When I'm around good friends and loved ones, i experience being free, liberated and my best and happiest self. But with everyone I'm still filtering, adapting and finding common ground with them. There's stuff I'll talk about with one friend that I wouldn't mention to another. There's jokes I might make in one place but not in another. But I don't feel I'm masking, it just isn't possible to be everything all the time.
Yeah, I don't. Even in holiday I want to be able to go look at stuff and read books, not just lie in bed scrolling my phone and feeling mad at myself. But what has been helpful is getting different dosages (a benefit of the terrible ritalin supply is I sometimes got my 40mg as 4x10mg). That way I can take less on days when I've not got a lot on, and just want to relax. But taking nothing is not a good day.