Lemmylefty

joined 2 years ago
[–] [email protected] 59 points 2 years ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 years ago

What do you like to play?

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 years ago (1 children)

While I definitely agree that routine checkups like that should be happening (and especially for people who just got their licenses or are 60+) at least for a car dominant culture like the US I can see that being a huge burden both on safety organizations/DMVs and on the drivers themselves. :/

[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 years ago

People lived here fully and loved dearly. It’s sweet.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 years ago (1 children)

It is definitely tough to shed that sense. Growing up knowing I was “weird” and therefore bad (no, it was just undiagnosed autism, but I was an adult before I knew that and that element of myself had long since been solidified) meant that if I wanted people to like me then I had to give more than they did in order to just break even, which is exhausting and unfair, especially since I have a tendency to read neutral expressions as negative ones.

One thing that has helped me is the realization that that happy feeling I get when someone came to me for help and I helped them? Goes both ways for good people. And it sucks for them, too, if you’re suffering and they could help but you were afraid to ask. Having standards is both a defense of yourself and a means of determining which people should stay prominent in your life.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 years ago

Those are all good points! Certainly some of it is growing pains, but it would make for a better entry point to have a walkthrough upon signup. That could be true of apps, as well.

It’s all a balancing act, isn’t it? Between managing reputation and the increased trust/context it brings, allowing for a broader range of opinions (and more contentious ones) versus encouraging consensus within a community, and managing user expectations. How do you keep out trolls and chan-culture without encouraging fearful bean counting and a smoothening of the many bumpy opinions into what is widely perceived as acceptable?

What works for a suddenly engorged, amorphous and non-profit driven organization like Lemmy is going to be different from what Reddit can do from a top-down perspective. I’ve always held paid actors to a higher standard than unpaid ones, so I’m willing to rely more on my own internal sorting of value. Everyone has experienced a time where they or someone else made a good point that was ignored in favor of the popular person’s more mundane one, and I think that that’s just a part of humanity that you can’t kick out without establishing some sort of external arbiter.

I don’t know the answer to it, just that a simpler system that one disagrees with is easier to navigate than one that’s more complex.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 years ago

If I could live in a triplex with one of my siblings and our friend, so each of us knows we have quiet neighbors who don’t use excessive amounts of utilities while still having privacy, that would be absolutely phenomenal.

I don’t NEED a huge place, and a lot of things bigger than an apartment feel wasteful for just 1 or 2 people, but if I’m stuck with shit roomies/neighbors again I WILL begin killing and eating people.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 years ago (2 children)

Besides sorting by age or number of replies, how else would you sort comments, and is that any better than using user generated scores?

[–] [email protected] 12 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (5 children)

You can change that to New and hide read comments. Or just keep scrolling and read comments as they are. Organization that can be changed is different from not even being able to comment.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 years ago (3 children)

It’s the lack of awareness that gets me. You’re operating a 2+ ton vehicle at speeds significantly faster than humans can reach by themselves, amongst a group of other people doing the same, and you figure it’s okay to be unpredictable?

Unfortunately that’s not something you can really test for, that blasé attitude towards interacting with traffic, since most early drivers are going to be on their best behavior, and this is developed after years of getting away with it (or NOT but somehow still doing it?).

[–] [email protected] 32 points 2 years ago (7 children)

Exactly; the main point of karma for Reddit doesn’t apply here, and there are options in apps to just show total score.

I use downvotes for two things: the person was, needlessly, a jackass, regardless of whether they’re right, or they’re wrong in such a way that I don’t have the energy/ability to sort that out (or just trolling). I’m sure others do the same for me, and that information should be available to others.

 

I’ve become aware, as I get older, how my initial emotional reaction to conflict isn’t always fair and is usually pointed backward, defensive and angry. I also know that I do better if I have time alone to process how I’m feeling, and often by the time I’m done things have moved on.

What I’ve been working on is to stop using excuses - the moment has passed, I’d just be dredging up the same argument, I’ve had this conversation in my head a bunch but they never turn out exactly right - and just go back to the people involved and tell them how I feel because they deserve that effort. There have been disagreements I’ve had where I wasn’t in the wrong but the other party did something I can admire and appreciate, and it doesn’t hurt me any to say that.

And it never ends with what I imagine is “argument perfection”: a point by point discussion of intent and action and history. Which is silly because life is messy but it gets better and I and others grow more patient and willing to move forward if I’m not always bracing for a blow.

That’s…probably a bit confusing, but it’s been something I’ve been mulling over, so…what personality traits of yours are you working on?

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