Lumelore

Sorry, this is pretty much just me venting, but it is related to me being trans.

Anyways, I got my first pair of women's glasses yesterday. I was very excited and euphoric, but I somehow managed to scratch them today while I was fiddling with the nose pads. Fortunately the eyeglass place has a warranty for lens scratches, but I unfortunately had to use it less than 24 hours after getting my glasses. They said they have never seen an adult scratch their glasses that fast...

I also have a hearing soon to get my legal sex changed however I also have jury duty. I had called the court a while back to see if I could reschedule and they basically said that it's my problem, not theirs, and now that it is getting close to time, I am freaking out because idk what I'm going to do if they call me in when I have my hearing.

On top of that, I also have midterms this week so I'm stressed out from that as well. I just drank the last of my alcohol, but unfortunately maladaptive coping mechanisms aren't actually that effective (Who would have thought).

Image Transcription:

Flo from Animal Crossing says to the player: Nice! I didn't think anyone here was good at being gay and cute!

Title

Idk if that dogshit executive order applies to birth certificates or if it's just passports and other federal identity documents. As far as I'm aware birth certificates are managed by the state and I live in a blue state (Minnesota), so I'm thinking maybe I could but idk.

I'm planning on using my passport that I got a few months ago as one of my supporting documents but I'm worried that it might get confiscated. (My passport has an F on it, my birth certificate currently has an M on it)

Sometimes I have days where I look in the mirror and think "damn I'm hot" and other days I think "damn I'm ugly" (because I think I look too much like my agab).

I'm trying to figure out what to do to feel better on those dysphoric days other than just caving in to food cravings or bed rotting.

I imagine other people here probably experience similar feelings. When you aren't feeling good it's easy to cave into unhealthy habits. I'm curious as to what others do if they are having a dysphoric day.

[Image Transcription]: Snoopy wearing a wizard hat making potions. Top text says "HOW TITTY SKITTLES IS MADE." Bottom text says "BOTTOM TEXT." In smaller font beneath bottom text it says in parentheses "i'm a bottom colon three."

So I'm wondering if I might have klinefelter's (XXY chromosomes) or if I'm just very receptive to estrogen because the effects of HRT happened to me way faster than I've heard other people say it happened to them.

I've seen charts like these and I am a bit dubious of them because my timeline doesn't match up at all.

I don't know if my experience is actually normal or not, but when I started estrogen about a little over a year ago, it only took a few days for me to notice my skin being softer, and then literally the next day I woke up with breast buds and about 2 to 3 weeks later I had noticeable breasts that were big enough that it was difficult for me to boymode at work. I'm pretty sure I got to Tanner stage 3 in like half the time that's expected.

From what I've heard from others is that they didn't get breast buds until at least 3 months in and that made me question why mine happened so quickly.

I've also always been pathetically weak and it's also always been difficult for me to gain muscle. Which makes me think I had low testosterone even before I started spiro. I remember when I had my 3 month follow up, my t was at 89 ng/dL and I remember my doctor commenting that that was lower than he expected, although I have zero idea if that is actually lower than normal for 3 months on 100mg spiro.

I'm curious if any of you also experienced a similar timeline to me, or if your timeline fits the charts that I've seen. I know my timeline is quite fast and that it might be hard to believe (idk if my experience is normal or not), but I swear it is my genuine experience with HRT.

As of a few days ago, I am now 1 year on HRT! I typically don't like posting pictures of myself, but I also wanted to make a transition timeline and share my progress, so here it is lol.

Estrogen is amazing. I finally feel like my body is mine and something that I need and want to take care of. Sometimes, I randomly think about my gender and being a woman and it makes me so happy, but overall I don't really think about my gender as frequently as I used to years ago.

I also started progesterone last month and luckily I am one of the people that respond well to it. My overall mood has significantly improved since I started it, and it also helps me sleep a lot better. I am now waking up early in the morning feeling energized which is something I have not experienced in a very long time lol.

I've also been working on my voice as well. I did make a post here about 6 months ago where I asked for feedback on my voice (which was really breathy and did not sound good). I think I have improved quite a bit since then. I'd really appreciate your feedback on it if you would like to critique it.

My voice training progress (youtube link)

This is easiest done by sorting by Top of 1 hour, so there are only a few posts to scroll past.

When you get all the way to the bottom where there are no more posts to load, try scrolling down.

While you do that, any NSFW image that currently has a blur over it will have the blur squished vertically towards the center, allowing you to see the top and bottom of the image unblurred.

I'm currently studying CS and I'll get my bachelor's degree next year. I've been searching for remote SWE internships for months now and have not had any luck. I even made a project to put on my resume and it's still just rejection email after rejection email. Maybe I need more projects? What tips do you have for getting an Internship?

I really don't want to go back to my previous job cause working with old people in rural America as a minority is literally hell. I think I might just go into omega debt instead lol.

I'm working on a website that compiles a bunch of trans resources into one place.

I made an "Am I trans?" page which has a link to the article on the gender dysphoria bible of the same name.

I also remember some other websites, but I can't find them. I think they were called something along the lines of Am I a girl? and there were other variants of it for transmascs and nonbinary people. I think I remember seeing the link on the transfem community, but I'd have to scroll through months of comments to find it. I thought I would check here first in case anyone has the link saved so I don't have to sift through all those comments.

Edit: I just found it! It's called "Turn me into a girl" and not "Am I a girl?". Here's a link to it: https://turn-me-into-a-girl.com/

Was looking through an old hard drive today and I found some old pictures of me from before I transitioned. I only have a few of them because I didn't like taking pictures of myself back then (hmm, I wonder why? /s). I thought about deleting them because I don't like how I looked back then, but in a weird way they also made me happy. I think it is because they serve as a reminder as to how far I have come in the four years since I realized that I am trans. Comparing them with current pictures of myself, it is very obvious that I am much happier now.

I also found some old picrews that I made of myself shorty after I realized that I am trans. These made me really happy for multiple reasons. One is that they brought back a lot of memories. The other is helped me figure something out. I've been trying to figure out exactly when I had the realization and the best I had beforehand was sometime in late 2019, but those pictures are dated October 28th which makes them the earliest evidence of me being trans that I have. I made like thirty of them but here are two of them that I like.

Past me would be so happy to know that I actually look like this now:

This is an image that I think I used to come out to a few people. It's hard to see, but I decided to add some estradiol to my mouth:

Anyways, I just felt like sharing. I'm curious if anyone else also used picrew at first to explore their gender. Also if you have any transition related stories you feel like sharing, I'd love to read those too.

I'm not an egg anymore, but I found this meme I made several years ago when looking through an old hard drive and wanted to put it on Lemmy.

Image description: Top text says "Me: 100% totally cis male." Bottom text says "Also me: A girl with girl stuff and girl hair and girl clothes." The bottom part is actually an image of a Minecraft skin that is posted on Planet Minecraft.