mosscap

Hi friends, I'm 36 and recently just discovered what ADHD actually is, and am waiting for a consultation/diagnosis from a psychologist (a few more weeks on the wait list I think).

Apologies for the long post, but I'm working through some shit and feel the need to share here.

Anyways, as Ive been processing what having ADHD might mean for my life, Ive been having some incredible "aha!" moments about areas of my life where I feel significant amounts of shame for coming up short.

The one that I'm having now, which I'm very curious to know if anyone has also experienced, is an extreme amount of frustration and stress when my spouse starts "task stacking" with me. She'll ask me to do something around the house, or with our kiddo, and then while I'm in the middle of doing that thing, she'll ask me to do another second thing, and then a third, and so on until either all of the tasks are finished or I politely ask her to stop piling work onto my plate.

Relatedly, when we were dating we would spend a lot of time hiking together and its where we got to know each other a lot. However once we got married I began to really dread the days when we went hiking together. My thoughts on this now are that, we would have to wake up super early (which sucks but isnt a deal breaker in itself), but my wife would spend the entire morning in a whirlwind of task stacking, talking to fast to understand, and then have an unbreakable rigid "get out the door" time. Once we were in the cat to go hiking, I was a complete wreck of feeling exhausted and beaten down. I never had any of these frustrations or dread of hiking before we lived together.

This ended up in me coming to the conclusion that maybe I really don't like hiking at all (which I'm starting to suspect is not actually true), and then fighting back on planning days to go hiking (planning is another massively shameful kryptonite of mine, but that's another story). She's also silently blamed me quite a lot for taking away something that she really loved doing together, and I've felt this existentially deep shame about "false advertising" for myself while dating as an adventurous spirit, only to turn into a massive homebody once we got married.

Essentially, I'm starting to realize that many of the things that have caused me deep shame and cost me insane amounts of relational capital in my marriage might actually just be symptoms of ADHD.

Can anyone else here validate whether or not these sound like ADHD symptoms you've experienced and, if so, whether or not those symptoms have been helped by medication?

Hi friends! I feel like I'm at a bit of a crossroads with my cycling journey right now, and I'd really love to get some feedback from some of y'all.

For background, I started getting into longer distance cycling events last year as a way to stay healthy and fit, especially since my partner and I have an 18 month toddler. Cycling is both a mental health and physical fitness outlet for me.

I'm riding a Surly LHT with 700x32 Schwalbe Marathon Plus tires, so I'm almost always at the back of the pack. I am not part of a team, so I'm never able to draft behind people either.

Last year I completed 2 Gran Fondos, one of which was the Whistler Sea to Sky Fondo. Yesterday was my first ride of the year and despite spending all winter with TrainerRoad 3 times a week, my time was actually slower than it was a year before and I missed the cutoff time.

Granted, I had an exhausting week leading up to their ride, I got slightly drunk 2 nights before the ride which resulted in bad sleep, and then a toddler-induced bad nights sleep the night before the ride.

Needless to say, that was pretty discouraging, especially since my plan has been to try and go for even longer rides this year (a 157km ride on July 1 and a 200km in September). My partner wants me to back down from leaning into these fondo style rides (and the longer ones too obvi), and in my disappointment from this weekend I'm inclined to go along with that.

But here are my questions:

• How much should I read into my results this weekend? Could it just be chalked up to a hard week and a bad nights sleep?

• If I had a really hard day going for 120km on June 9, should I pull back on trying to go for 157km on July 1 and 200km in September?

• If anyone is a toddler-parent who works full time and engages in long-distance cycling, I'd love to hear how you make that work

A common frustration in my part of the world is that transit does not run very often, and there are only 2 spots for bikes on the front of buses. There have been many times when I've had to wait an extra hour just to see if the next bus happens to have a spot for my bike.

Every time this happens, I promise myself that I'm going to someday spend the money to buy a folding bike (which can be taken on the bus if it's folded).

In my head, riding a folding bike is a joyous experience, partly because of Dr Sharon riding a Brompton in Ted Lasso, but I'm curious what it's actually like.

My dream folding bikes are any model of Brompton, a RadExpand 5, or a Tern Link D7i.

Maybe both Biz AND Babcock are insufferable pricks...