for me what helps aside from hugging myself, is a heavy winter or rain coat. (I've got a sailing jacket that I love for both the weight and how it keeps me dry in all circumstances.) And those I always miss during the warm summer days.
on the right side from the railing is for the humans, the left is for cats.
did this happen in Giethoorn? the environment reminds me of it.
had eerlijk gezegd dat de tweede van boven aan de rechterkant hier wel zijn oorsprong had gevonden. Toen ik tegenkwam dat dit niet zo was, dacht ik dat hij alsnog als onderdeel hier misschien gewaardeerd zou worden.
that is indeed a bittersweet story to this picture. And to make it even worse (maybe) to me all those raised bridges remind me of a greeting/salute that happen in old-fashioned rowing boats by raising all oars when passing by. To me it looked like if the city and/or those bridges are saluting that ship underway.
might be in part because at the Dutch Pen Show they were part of the goodiebag.
Yep, very familiar. at times it almost feels like my body is not very well connected to my brain.
With all information that does not or very late get processed. (like I only notice I am hungry like 2 or 3 hours after I should have eaten something, and than it just completely takes over everything and I cannot think straight)
Hunger is annoying, but with a schedule managable, same as habits of going to the bathroom, cold you dress according the weatherbulletin. But Heat and knowing where some of my bodyparts hang out is something that I struggle with regularly. For cold you just put on another layer, for heat at a certain level there are no more clothes left to take of. And with my body, at some days it's worse than others. with elbows that hitting doorframes, or other passerby's, small (scrape) wounds or bruises that appear on my body of which I have no clue about their orgins. It doesn't tend to be big things, so I can keep ignoring it and pretending it just is part of me. But on some days I wonder, but what if it did was something big, would I notice it?
it "just" never is "just" one thing is it. (and this woman could have been me as well)
Why do I suspect something quite similar lead to my father saying in these circumstances to write down (or just the topic) what I wanted to say.
Is it weird to have different preferences depending on the language I speak?
In English I really prefer Autistic person/identity first, over person with Autism/person first. The last seems to me a bit too pretentious for me, as if you really need to pay so much extra attention to what is wrong with me.
In my native Dutch however I somewhat more align with person first. Basicly you have three options: -ik ben Autistisch/I am Autistic -Ik ben een Autist/I am a Autistic -ik heb Autisme/I have autism The first and last option I don't really mind wich one is used, although to describe myself I would use the first. But the middle one. Well Autist I have heard multiple times used as a curse word. (Dutch tend to use a diseases as curses to describe people) And well that does not help you feel good about yourself, or coming out of the Autism close for one thing. But even outside of people who do this, it made me avoid using that word to describe myself. As I do not want to be associated with the stereotype that belongs with that curse.
so yeah, I always find this an interesting but slightly difficult to explain question. And shows once more; words matter.
I wish it was like chess, Chess at least has clear rules on what moves are allowed and an end-goal (capture the king). Life not so much. It is one big guessing game, from rules, to goals, and everything in between.
I always try to look at it as a work in progress. it isn't finished yet till all layers of paint have dried and when I hate something in a text I try to point to find out what, why and how can it be better. Wich result in a never ending cycle of editing, but each time there is a little less hate and after a while I even start to think this might be even something I can be oke with. (even if it needs a "Little" more work) Just don't give up, it will be better in the end, and till than it might be part of your process.
that might make it more difficult indeed to find some heavy weighted jackets to wear.