Hell, forget doing anything with the office. I don't want to go back unless you have an on site private spa, massuese, catered food, and laundry service. Make it legitimately better than being at home and I'll consider it.
Instead, the blue shirted girlfriend should be: "A valuable intangible workplace benefit that you can continue offering for free after you were forced to invest in it due to the pandemic"
People applying for my position will make job acceptance or denial choices off of whether or not they get to work from home. We're already split across three "back office" physical locations when we are in the office and we're more than capable of having a conference call going in the background throughout the day for chitchat and bouncing ideas around verbally if we really need to. We didn't just survive during total work from home, we thrived. And we already have all the technical infrastructure, policies, and procedures in place to offer full work from home.
It's like if they could offer health insurance to employees for free, but decided not to because upper management can't figure out how to do their jobs when people have it.
Fuck this boils my piss.
If things keep going the way they seem to be, we're going to end up back with the same thing as old cable channel packages and ads on all streaming services.