this post was submitted on 13 Mar 2025
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Pick a Card (lemmy.today)
submitted 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
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[–] [email protected] 28 points 2 months ago (7 children)

Despite the fact I would like to be cremated, I've spent a lot of time thinking about what to put on my epitaph.

[–] [email protected] 26 points 2 months ago (1 children)

“What do you want on your tombstone?”

“Pepperoni and sausage.”

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

(for the uninitiated. also hey that's don stark from that 70's show)

[–] [email protected] 15 points 2 months ago (2 children)

My epitaph is going to be an LLM bot, trained on every email and social media post I've ever made, that every day responds to between 3 and 6 posts or post comments; and picks a random topic based on the Lemmy communities to which I'm subscribed and posts a single random toot on ActivityPub.

And, besides, I believe Lemmy should have reactions.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 months ago (4 children)

I'm not sure that's a great idea in my case. A lot of my online activity is me talking about weird sex acts or ploughing femboys or joking about masturbating with probiotic yoghurt to treat yeast infections. So I'm pretty sure my kids don't want to interact with that jaded fucking LLM.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 months ago

But of it's the real you... and I'm sure that most kids are aware of the stuff their parents think they're being sneaky about. I did.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I think it would be hilarious to connect a speaker to your grave and have the LLM say in a really gravily voice "hmmm sure do love a femboy bussy..." at 2am

[–] Deathray5 1 points 2 months ago

I thought my online comments were weird (they probably are but let whatever the bias is cause effect)

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago (1 children)

If this happened to me I wonder if people would know that I had died.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago

I won't be able to enjoy it, but I like the idea that I might be a small news item some day: man dies, continues posting to social media for two years.

[–] fitjazz 5 points 2 months ago

I always say I want mine to read "He died the way he lived" and then say how I died. The less sense it makes the better.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

Hier ruhen meine Gebeine,

ich wünscht es wären Deine.

Here lie my bones,

I wish yours would lie here instead.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] Mirror [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Spotted the King Crimson enjoyer.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 months ago

no one enjoys King Crimson, you just let the existential despair wash over you until it decides to let you go

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago

"I'm not dead! Stop this thing! What's going on?! AAAAAHHHH!"

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago

Death is but a door. Time is but a window. I’ll be back.

Vigo the Carpathian knew how to spit some bars.