this post was submitted on 23 May 2025
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Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

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[–] [email protected] 139 points 1 month ago (5 children)

I feel so much more normal for just saying hello to my shower spider now.

[–] [email protected] 51 points 1 month ago

Be careful, though! This is the first step towards what anon describes!

[–] [email protected] 30 points 1 month ago (2 children)

My shower spider gets a reminder of our deal.

"You know the drill. You stay up there, I stay over here, nobody has to be injured today."

Sometimes the spider decides to come over to my side and gets flushed or squished, but they knew what was expected of them.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 month ago

I have one of those who knows her place. She’s been there for probably a year now, and I don’t feed her so she must be doing something for me.

She briefly had a friend of the same species set up shop on the other side of the shower. That one didn’t get the memo and decided to wander all over the place while I was showering, breaking the pact. That one went down the drain. The other is still there, months after that event.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago (3 children)

Real talk: people that save spiders and make it a moral thing confuse the heck out of me.

Like, if you were the spiders size proportionally to the spider, it would web you up and suck your blood for being in its home...

[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Living a principled life does not rise and fall with what is done to you. That would be transactional.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago

And yet, I feel guiltless in my murderous choice 🫶🏼

[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago (1 children)

You're being humane and grounded with a handle like that, are you good? Like can I get you a drink or anything?

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago

My hyperfixation with a rape simulator doesn’t mean I want bad things to happen in the real world.

I even save wasps - I fed a dying one until she was strong enough to escape once.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 month ago

Yeah, but we have the mental capability of understanding what the spider is, and that it won't eat you, nor do you need to eat it. So why cruelly kill for no reason?

[–] [email protected] 28 points 1 month ago

Shower spider wants to watch you touch yourself

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 month ago

I do the feeding thing, but mostly because it feels wrong to kill a mosquito and then just throw it in the trash

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago (3 children)

Why don't you people kill and dispose of spiders in your home?

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 month ago (1 children)

They're actually pretty beneficial (eating other more annoying bugs and all that) and usually not harmful to human residents in any way (except if you live in Australia). Killing them because "aah yuck spiders!" isn't a good enough reason to many

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Did our generation forget how caulk and netting works?

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 month ago (1 children)

unless you hermetically seal your house, bugs will get in, if they want in.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

Some small bugs will get through fine mesh.

Open doors and windows let a lot of things in.

But fucked up gappy houses let everything in all the time. You've spent your whole life living in fucked up gappy houses, I'm guessing.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Yeah most new construction is terrible and a lot of older homes need extensive work that people can't afford.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

I'm calling it now, some dissertation in the future will be written on spiderbro's place in contemporary culture as an expression of acceptance of widespread low home quality.

Of course exacerbated by a generally low competency in home maintenance, and more importantly a huge renting class with feckless do-nothing-right landlords and limited/unclear permissions to take the issue in their own hands.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

I didn't honestly even think about that. Being from the nordics means throwing them outside is the same as killing them most of the year and keeping them all out is kinda impossible, they'll find their way in because outside is cold

*(edit for managing to cut the text in half)

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 month ago

They typically leave me alone, and eat the other bugs that don't leave me alone.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Because I can trap mine in a jar and take it outside instead.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Most of the time that leads to them dying. So if it's about saving them, that's the wrong move.

If it's about getting rid of them without squishing them or something, then that works.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago

Most of the time that leads to them dying.

Well, squishing has a 100% chance of them dying. With a toddler and a baby, having them run loose sadly isn't an option.

We live in a very mild climate, and there's under-deck and fence space around our house, in addition to bushes, trees, and underbrush


fairly suitable for a variety of arachnids. It's not the same as indoors, and survival rate certainly isn't 100%, but it's not the death sentence of going from a climate controlled house to below-freezing outdoors.