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submitted 3 weeks ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
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[-] [email protected] 3 points 3 weeks ago

Humans simply are not wired for social media and the Internet. Seeing every single person you know posting themselves beautiful and dressed up doing the coolest things 24/7 will make anyone feel ugly and like they aren’t doing anything with their lives. It takes real focused effort to remember that people (generally) only post when they are doing something special and what you don’t see are the days or weeks between posts that show they live the same boring life you live.

I've never seen a friend post on social media about something and then felt sad. I've instead thought "That looks awesome! Good for them! I can't wait to do something like that too, I'm inspired!"

I think when we lost in person social gatherings as the primary method of meeting new people

This is something only chronically online people say. Most people form almost all of their relationships offline. This is still extremely true of platonic relationships. Online dating has increased in popularity, but mostly this is among people with niche tastes or in remote locations, where finding a match is more difficult due to the rarity of finding potential partners in real life. Tons of people still date primarily via their social circle or community gatherings, and most people use a mix of all their options.

[-] [email protected] 21 points 3 weeks ago
[-] [email protected] 19 points 3 weeks ago

Given who runs "online", that's kind of worrying.

[-] [email protected] 2 points 3 weeks ago

who runs

With these knees? I’m known to promenade gingerly online.

[-] [email protected] 12 points 3 weeks ago

This is something only chronically online people say. Most people form almost all of their relationships offline. This is still extremely true of platonic relationships.

Where are you meeting these people, magic real life wizard?

[-] [email protected] 2 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

Of the 5 I currently have in my roster, 2 came from online, 2 were friends of friends, 1 I introduced myself to at a rock climbing crag.

I also seek out partners at my job, at the climbing gym, at various meetups like for acroyoga or fire spinning or pickup ultimate Frisbee, at social bars or concerts or festivals, or just when I'm walking around in the park near my house. Importantly, I'm not just going up to every attractive woman I see and saying "nice tits, wanna bang?" - even though this is my truth in my heart of hearts. Instead what I do is show up, have fun, meet people, joke around, and just be a normal person. But then if someone is cute, I'll do a little eyebrow wiggle or some shit during a break in the conversation, and if she eyebrow wiggles back, I escalate - like by tickling the back of her elbow or telling her that she's, like, literally the worst why am I even talking to her. And then at the end of the night I say "hey, I think you're cute - wanna hang out alone sometime and maybe do some smoochin'?" And then she says yes or no, I give her a high five either way, and I'm on my merry way.

Edit: I'll point out that the number of partners I have from online is mostly because I have a good profile, so getting matches is pretty easy for me. Most people don't have as high of a sex drive as me, and so won't want to put in the effort. Going through social networks (real life social networks) or social hobbies is far more likely to net you compatible partners, since the choices you make in these arenas are likely to attract people with similar values and dispositions.

[-] [email protected] 4 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

Well, that was a lot more than I bargained for. Also, gross.

[-] [email protected] 1 points 2 weeks ago

if you are presenting yourself to the world at large would you not want to showcase your best self?

"no let me show myself in my skivvies talking to my therapist!" doesn't seem like a lure for attracting a partner. just my two cents. And I am of the opinion that online dating is awkward, but that is about it.

this post was submitted on 01 Jul 2025
1109 points (100.0% liked)

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