588
‘New York Times’ Invents Entirely New Numerical System To Avoid Reporting Gazan Death Toll
(www.theonion.com)
this post was submitted on 29 Dec 2023
588 points (97.3% liked)
The Onion
5768 readers
632 users here now
The Onion
A place to share and discuss stories from The Onion, Clickhole, and other satire.
Great Satire Writing:
- The Onion
- Clickhole
- McSweeney's
- Reductress
- The Chaser
- The Hard Times
- The Needling
- Tattletale Times
- The Beaverton
founded 3 years ago
MODERATORS
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
view the rest of the comments
Remember, reporting that any Palestinians lost their lives during this conflict is not only anti-semitic, it's anti- American. Israelis aren't capable of committing violent war crimes. (BTW I'm being facetious, but only a little).
I take issue with your wording: "crimes" are the things that the OTHER side does, while when WE do it, it is ah... something else. (I am also being facetious, but only a little, unfortunately)
That's very true. When the other side does violence, we call it "crimes." When we do it, we call it "justice" or "necessity." Humans are good at justifying whatever they want to believe is true about the "other side."
They justifying extreme violence by claiming that they're squashing "terrorism."
Even though the USA, and it's military-industrial complex, has been the single largest terrorizing force the world has ever seen....
ok, but do you condemn Hamas?!
I condemn the Israeli government for slaughtering civilians and committing endless war crimes
whoooosh (that's the sound of a hellfire missile being launched in your direction for antisemitic remarks).
idf want to know your location
1600 Pennsylvania Avenue NW, Washington, D.C.
Why you got to dox me like that man? Cornpop! You’re a bad dude!
only if it has garlic in it
The Israeli government sure doesn't. They know 100% that oppression leads to terrorism. They knew their actions would create Hamas, and they know that giving Palestinians equal rights would end the terrorist cause in an instant. When they say they condemn Hamas, they're lying. They love Hamas.
Perhaps POTUS should take a leaf from my government's book. Here in the UK they are struggling to deport enough immigrants, so they want to send them to Rwanda. Since there's a concern that Rwanda isn't safe and this would therefore be a violation of our international obligations to genuine asylum seekers, they are considering legislating that Rwanda is safe - regardless of the truth.
If reality is bothersome - why not simply state that it is not, and make it the law that you can't say that it is!
Wait, are you being a little or a lot facetious? Bc it sounds like a lot. If only a little, you’re saying you mostly do believe those previous statements.
Or mostly believe you'll be called antisemitic/anti-American, not that it would actually be so.