A place to share and discuss stories from The Onion, Clickhole, and other satire.
Great Satire Writing:
Remember, reporting that any Palestinians lost their lives during this conflict is not only anti-semitic, it's anti- American. Israelis aren't capable of committing violent war crimes. (BTW I'm being facetious, but only a little).
I take issue with your wording: "crimes" are the things that the OTHER side does, while when WE do it, it is ah... something else. (I am also being facetious, but only a little, unfortunately)
That's very true. When the other side does violence, we call it "crimes." When we do it, we call it "justice" or "necessity." Humans are good at justifying whatever they want to believe is true about the "other side."
They justifying extreme violence by claiming that they're squashing "terrorism."
Even though the USA, and it's military-industrial complex, has been the single largest terrorizing force the world has ever seen....
ok, but do you condemn Hamas?!
I condemn the Israeli government for slaughtering civilians and committing endless war crimes
whoooosh (that's the sound of a hellfire missile being launched in your direction for antisemitic remarks).
idf want to know your location
1600 Pennsylvania Avenue NW, Washington, D.C.
Why you got to dox me like that man? Cornpop! You’re a bad dude!
only if it has garlic in it
The Israeli government sure doesn't. They know 100% that oppression leads to terrorism. They knew their actions would create Hamas, and they know that giving Palestinians equal rights would end the terrorist cause in an instant. When they say they condemn Hamas, they're lying. They love Hamas.
Perhaps POTUS should take a leaf from my government's book. Here in the UK they are struggling to deport enough immigrants, so they want to send them to Rwanda. Since there's a concern that Rwanda isn't safe and this would therefore be a violation of our international obligations to genuine asylum seekers, they are considering legislating that Rwanda is safe - regardless of the truth.
If reality is bothersome - why not simply state that it is not, and make it the law that you can't say that it is!
Wait, are you being a little or a lot facetious? Bc it sounds like a lot. If only a little, you’re saying you mostly do believe those previous statements.
Or mostly believe you'll be called antisemitic/anti-American, not that it would actually be so.
Shoutout to the web dev who made this page so it loads everything except the article content and shows massive white blocks of nothing instead.
I think sometimes there's no article, the whole joke is the headline, and the white square is the blocked ad. Or have I been bamboozled by incompetent coders the whole time?
That's what I thought at first but after the first "you may also like" there's a huge void of white that goes for two screens and then there's more links.
The page source is something to behold. I'm not sure if it's the worst thing I've ever seen or if they've reached a god tier level of parody.
The Onion is a satirical site, it’s a joke. There’s no article, the whole joke is the headline. It’s not a real news site.
I thought it was just me. IDK what they've got going on there.
Is there even an article or is it just the headline? Because I can't see anything but links
They have [only] killed less than 8! people
Give it enough time and this whole thing might even lead to 13! deaths
There have only been 20 civilian casualties in Gaza when you use Base 1000 math.
30 actually.
Is there no article?
Pretty sure this is what God meant by "thou shalt not kill"
Where's the article? I can only see a headline and a picture
You almost got me