this post was submitted on 17 Apr 2024
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No Stupid Questions

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I know the real answer is reddit but I really don't want to go back now that I've already grown used to life without it. I was hoping for Lemmy to be a viable substitute but it isn't. I can see how this place is wonderful for the certain type of person but that person is not me. My experience during the past 6+ months has been a net negative and I'm pretty much ready to move on. I just don't know where else to go.

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[–] [email protected] 147 points 11 months ago (4 children)

I'm sure this will come if the wrong way but if you're genuinely concerned about discovering diversity of thought, you're going to have to tell us what your positions are for example.

I'm all for finding diversity, but so often what people who post these are looking for is an echo chamber. Like if you're really wanting to be challenged, and you're a conservative, go to https://socialistworker.org/ and read up.

But if what you're concerned about is the nerds in Lemmy seem to be left leaning, that's just the nature of smart creative people. We value skills and creativity over hierarchy and structure.

[–] [email protected] 51 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (3 children)

I like hearing both sides of every argument even when I don't agree with it. On reddit I could read the top comments first and then sort by controversial to hear the opposing arguements. Here I can't do that. There usually are no opposing arguments or if there is they're made in bad faith. It's almost like I need to choose a team and then subscribe to the ideologies of that team when in reality I'm more of a pick and choose type of person.

you’re going to have to tell us what your positions are for example

There are very few "positions" I hold. When it comes to most subjects I'm not informed enough to form strong opinions so I generally float somewhere in between. For most hot topics I see on Lemmy every day I can usually make good arguments for both ways. I may lean to one side or another but I'm often just a few well written comments away from tipping to the other direction.

[–] [email protected] 42 points 11 months ago (1 children)

you’re going to have to tell us what your positions are for example

There are very few “positions” I hold.

The "positions" term is usually a shorthand for the eventual distillation of your values. If you haven't arrived yet at your positions, have you examined on your values? Values are usually far more primitive in the sense they don't conform exactly to specific public policy, but there is usually public policy that encompasses specific values.

While its certainly possible for a person's values to change over time. We usually arrive at what most our values are in our 20s. These are things such as:

  • Your belief in the value of life; Your own vs everyone else's in society, in the world.
  • Your adoption or rejection on any specific religion or faith
  • Where you decide the right balance is between individualism vs collectivism
  • Your belief in personal responsibility and autonomy vs societal responsibility and obligation

I believe it is very important for each of us to examine who we are, what our values are, and then use our intellect to decide/craft which positions can be arrived at with guidance from our values.

When it comes to most subjects I’m not informed enough to form strong opinions so I generally float somewhere in between. For most hot topics I see on Lemmy every day I can usually make good arguments for both ways. I may lean to one side or another but I’m often just a few well written comments away from tipping to the other direction.

This is where your responsibility comes in. If you're not informed enough, become so. Listen critically to arguments, don't simply accept on face value what other proclaim is true. If you're hearing a logical argument that seems to contradict your understanding, yet aligns with your values, challenge yourself to explore it. The phrase "steel sharpens steel" applies here. If you have healthy and strongly defined personal values, the arguments of your positions should be equally strong and stand up to scrutiny. If your positions are found faulty by your own examination, adopt all or elements of the argument that knocked your position down because its is the right one for your values and ability to critically apply logic with all the information you have available.

You made other statements about choosing a side, but realistically it isn't just two sides. Its dozens or hundreds of nuanced views, and every single one could be flawed in some way, or incomplete. Accept that in many situations there isn't a "right" answer. All sides represented could be wrong and the best you can do is admit this choose the least worse. This constant reexamination and frustration is both the beauty and the horror of being human.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 11 months ago (3 children)

Accept that in many situations there isn’t a “right” answer.

This is pretty much the essence of what I was trying to say there. The more you study a subject the more you realize how much nuance there is to everything so it's near impossible to land on any clear conclusion on what to think about it. People often act as if it's all black and white but it almost never is. Even in cases such as the war in Ukraine where it's a pretty clear which side is the good and which is the bad one you should still be allowed to examine the alternative perspective too to better understand the "enemy" as well as realize that the good side isn't wihout a fault either and critizicing them doesn't automatically make you a Russian troll.

[–] [email protected] 23 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Your analysis is far too shallow to determine Good vs Bad, even in something that should be as clear cut as the Ukraine war. Morality is next to impossible to assign unless you pick a very specific basis on which to analyze it.

Your starting assumptions matter a lot in morality, like how much you value human life. There are people in this world that do not value life highly because they believe in afterlife situations that are preferable to life on earth as long as you meet the criteria for entrance. Who's to say they are wrong from a moral perspective?

If Putin actually believes that the people in eastern Ukraine are being persecuted, and Russia is rescuing them, is that immoral? Would it be immoral for a solider to fight under the belief that they are helping people even if they are not?

Morality often comes down to belief because it's not an objective concept.

Me, I think Putin would look better with a few more holes in him. Is that immoral? Would I be willing to sacrifice myself to kill him? No. Would I be willing to let members of my country's armed forces sacrifice themselves to kill him despite us not really being involved in the conflict? Probably. That's some really messy morality right there.

The thing you need to realize at the end of the day, is that morality is completely personal, and yet it's entire purpose is to allow societies to get along. At the same time, you need to realize that you didn't come up with your own ideas of morality, you grew up being indoctrinated (for better or worse) towards a particular type of morality.

If you had been born somewhere else, to a different family, or even just had different events happen to you in life, you would have a different set of morals.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 11 months ago (1 children)

This is the kind of comment I wish I would see here more often.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 11 months ago (1 children)

But why? This has everything to do with philosophy, and nothing to do with most posts on Lemmy.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 11 months ago (1 children)

I believe OP is young and just more into philosophy than politics.. ot maybe a combo of both. I know a time when I was like that, so it's perfectly normal.

But, unfortunately, yes, there are very few individuals out there that communicate on that level.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 11 months ago (2 children)

I wrote more comments here to express my confusion with OP and their goal.

The more I read the more I think the problem is from their inability to explain themselves, or perhaps lack of any cohesive want in the first place. Philosophy is fine, controversy is fine, nuance is great, but I get none of the above from OP. It is possible they are young and searching themselves, yet to understand how the world and online discussions work.

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[–] [email protected] 12 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (2 children)

You know you're allowed to make comments in threads challenging people if you think their comments are too one sided?

If you suspect there is an unexplored side to something, you can ask about that, and you'll very likely get an answer, at least as far as I've seen. But usually if no one does that then yeah, like you say, you'll only see "one side".

You don't have to be a passive observer, you can get the discussion you want by guiding it.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 11 months ago (1 children)

It gets quite tiring after a while that instead of having to defend the point you're trying to make you instead have to defend yourself as a person. Ad-hominem is what a huge portion of active commentors here reach for when ever someone says something that they disagree with.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (1 children)

But then your problem does not seem to be diversity. Why do you act like it is?

[–] [email protected] 7 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (2 children)

Views to the right of centre are almost entirely missing from Lemmy so the problem is lack of diversity. Or perhaps I should say one of the problems. Incivility on social media on the other hand is not an issue unique to Lemmy.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

People right of centre usually have no problem at all with companies like Reddit behaving like it is, like going for an IPO etc, so they haven't attempted to switch off it yet. I'd just go back to reddit if you want to see these right-wing viewpoints. You haven't really explained why you don't want to go back, it seems suited to solve your problem.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 11 months ago (2 children)

What 'right of centre' views do you seek?

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[–] [email protected] 3 points 11 months ago (1 children)

You know you’re allowed to make comments in threads challenging people if you think their comments are too one sided?

Saying "I'd like to hear a different perspective" is generally interpreted by others as "Your perspective is wrong" and then the assumptions begin, which lead to accusations and bickering.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 11 months ago

I was speaking of something substantial and specific, not just some abstract stuff. For example, idk, "why not halt all arms deliveries to Ukraine? We need the weapons/money ourselves. I.e. some actual question about the topic. Because if you can't form a question like that, then it doesn't even make sense really to "hear a different perspective" as this different perspective will have no meaning for you.

But it seems anyway, after reading OPs responses to this thread, that they don't really care about diverse viewpoints, just about their own viewpoints not being disregarded/dismissed/argued against.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 11 months ago (2 children)

The more you study a subject the more you realize how much nuance there is to everything so it’s near impossible to land on any clear conclusion on what to think about it.

Take this just one step further: Understand that indecision, is a decision. That inaction, is an action.

On every topic, you can't just look at all the arguments and say "none of these are good enough, I select none" forever. By choosing to opt out forever, you allow the voices and actions of those you disagree with to stand in your place. In these situations where there are no good choices, is where you must eventually make a choice (at least for now), and that choice isn't going to be the best because there isn't a best choice. Its going to be the least-worse. This is why its so critical to have explored yourself to decide what values you hold. They are your guideposts to how you evaluate and arrive at what path you choose forward.

Keep looking for better, but don't let that paralyze you to the point of indecision and inaction.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Very few subjects are the kind of where one absolutely has to pick a side. That's kind of like saying you can't just enjoy football but you have to choose a team to support to. No I don't.

Just because one thing is slighly better than the alternative that doesn't mean I'm all for that one thing then. Israel - Hamas conflict is a good example. I don't support either side and the more I study the subject the more confusing it gets.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 11 months ago

First, I said you can't be inactive/indecisive forever, that is, if you want your values reflected in the world. If you're content to having the world be whatever someone else decides for you, then I suppose you can, but that in itself is a choice.

Very few subjects are the kind of where one absolutely has to pick a side. That’s kind of like saying you can’t just enjoy football but you have to choose a team to support to. No I don’t.

I'm talking about subjects where you have an opinion for a preference. When you're a passive watcher of football, there is no outcome that will be against your values. You have no effort to impart with watching football that will affect its outcome.

Just because one thing is slighly better than the alternative that doesn’t mean I’m all for that one thing then.

Of course not, but to affect change you may need to accept a chunk of negative with your path to get a larger chunk of positive. Again, there's no "best" solution, only least worst.

Israel - Hamas conflict is a good example. I don’t support either side and the more I study the subject the more confusing it gets.

Its a great example! There are zero good choices here. I'm in a similar position, however what I have concluded is our inaction (yours and mine) is causing the continued deaths of the civilians of Gaza. I value the lives. The most number of lives of the civilians that are the most risk right now are those of Gaza. So I have to ask myself, what can I do to preserve as much of civilians of Gaza? It gets even more complicated in the USA where I can advocate to my representatives for support for civilians of Gaza and try to stop the continued flow of US weapons causing the harm. However, our current politics are tying military support to Taiwan (which I support), Israel (which I do not support anymore), and Ukraine (which I do support) all as one package. To stop Russia from seizing Ukraine (where Russia will eventually use the Ukrainian people for further war against others) do I have to let Israel commit genocide against Gaza's civilians? Again, there are NO good choices here. Only least worst, and the subjective nature of which one is the least worst is guided by your values.

You will have to come to your own conclusion, but make not mistake, without you using your voice others are taking a path one way or the other and your values are not being represented.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 11 months ago

I think OP would be good to watch the first season of the Good Place. There is a character on there that is obsessed with making the correct decision and argues so much with himself and others over every tiny nuance that could shift the balance that he never acts on anything at all unless forced.

As you said, fence sitting is in an of itself an action, almost always to the detriment of the topic at hand.

[–] [email protected] 33 points 11 months ago (1 children)

It's almost like I need to choose a team and then subscribe to the ideologies of that team when in reality I'm more of a pick and choose type of person.

This sums up my feelings lately very nicely. I'd say I am generally well aligned with the culture on here, and share most leftist views. However there are certain topics, and even just sub aspects of certain topics, that will net you a lot of downvotes very quick and condescending proselytizing comments if you even slightly differ from the general consensus in your views.

I'm not sure what could be done about this though, I certainly dont want Lemmy to be more welcoming towards alt right bullshit and such. But talking with a bunch of queer leftists about queer leftist things all the time is like that old south park episode where the parents become pretentious wine snobs and start getting high on their own farts. Boring, pointless self aggrandizement.

[–] [email protected] 24 points 11 months ago (2 children)

I'm a queer leftist but get kinda sick of the three topics on lemmy: linux good/america bad/Rust sometimes OK.

I want like...aquarium subreddits that are active. I wanna see mountain bike subs with good advice and live threads. I wanna see local subs that have the hottest details on obcure things like the best nude community gardens or some shit, haha. I wanna see Subaru forums where you can learn how to add a better sound system or replace an intercooler. Hell, even local city subs, where they talk about the best protected bike lanes now that summer is approaching.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 11 months ago (1 children)

The thing about lemmy is if you want to see something you got to make it yourself if it doesn't exist

[–] [email protected] 10 points 11 months ago (2 children)

Lemmy has such a tiny active user space that most niche communities simply wont take off.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 11 months ago

Not with that attitude

[–] [email protected] 10 points 11 months ago

Guess how reddit started.

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[–] [email protected] 17 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (4 children)

I think some mods are a bit too happy to use their mod tools. I've seen opinions get moderated away because they anger people, not because they are wrong.

A mature society is able to discuss things without banning opinions they don't agree with.

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[–] [email protected] 27 points 11 months ago (3 children)

The amount of tankies and idiots with idiotic opinions is way to high on here. And in general I realy get what they are saying. Other platforms with a bigger user base don't have that big of a problem with diversity. It bothered me too, it seems like the whole of lemmy has a very idiotic position on a lot of things and saying anything that is even in the slightest against that gets you down voted. That is something that sadly developed over time. In the early days everyone was way more friendly and less radical people were on here.

that's just the nature of smart creative people

Well. No. Say that to yourself, but ideology and belive is a lot more complex than: I am smart, so I am left. Your believes mostly stem from influences in your childhood, like parents, friends, people you trust. It's dangerous to lift yourself above others with different believes.

Like if you're really wanting to be challenged, and you're a conservative, go to https://socialistworker.org/ and read up.

The problem is that a socialist worker doesn't realy have a place to go to challenge their own opinion. Lemmy sadly has gone the way of an eco chamber. And for political discourse you need other people that have an opinion like yours that support you in your arguments. Currently it's more like "this guy has a bad opinion, downvote him to hell"

It's not enough for me to leave, because in general I realy like it here and with enough comunitys blocked it has become bearable.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 11 months ago

I've seen a LOT of strawman attacks. It usually seems to be honest miscommunication, but underneath that... It looks like predisposition to combative and somewhat-dismissive hot takes.

And it works. Certain members have swung entire conversations and down votes by implying a person said something they didn't.

It's not unique to online fora, but the concentration seems off here.

Some of this just looks like people feeling like big fish in this small pond and finding a degree of confidence or even righteousness from the voting patterns.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Can you expand more on those idiotic positions?

[–] [email protected] 16 points 11 months ago (6 children)

“America does bad things, so I should support china/russia instead!”

“Stalin/mao were (anything besides utterly reprehensible dictators)”

“Communism could’ve worked if-“

Honorable mention to thinking this coy “I’m going to act all hyper respectful and yet also like I know more than anyone about anything” bullshit gets you anywhere.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Though to be honest, tankies spouting #1 and #2 get heavily downvoted. I don't even see them anymore, guess my instance defederated them, but they were never strong positions here.

Perhaps it's the defederation, but my experience here does not resemble yours.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 11 months ago

They’re mask off on hexbear/lemmygrad, they try to be subversive on lemmy.ml. I have in fact instance blocked the first two, you can usually dodge them on .ml. Lemmy is far less enjoyable if you have not blocked them.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 11 months ago (2 children)

First two sound like tankies, but communism definitely could work :P

[–] [email protected] 6 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Commune-ism sounds like a lovely idea on a small scale, you gotta solve a lot of political problems to make it work on anything bigger. Social democracies like the scandinavians seem to be the best way we currently know to run a humanitarian society.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 11 months ago (6 children)

Are they though? I just feel like we aren't solving the issues we ought to.

First, nobody gets hungry ever again.

Then, everybody gets roof over their head.

After that, we can start discussing the next steps.

And yes, we need to do this globally, with nobody left behind.

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[–] [email protected] 5 points 11 months ago (1 children)

If you aren’t human, perhaps

[–] [email protected] 4 points 11 months ago (2 children)

It's like saying we are too stupid to survive.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 11 months ago (1 children)

That is not an unthinkable scenario. The universe is so vast yet there is no sign of life anywhere else. Why? Perhaps intelligent life simply isn't intelligent enough and they always end up destroying themselves. A so called "great filter". Is it behind us or ahead? Who knows.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 11 months ago (9 children)

Given the state of our climate, I would say it's very closely ahead of us, and we are not going to make it. Which is a shame, we are so close.

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[–] [email protected] 4 points 11 months ago

So, you've been listening to lemmy.lm...

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[–] [email protected] 15 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (1 children)

You don't need to know their views to know what a diverse community is. Lemmy is a heavily-~~biasee~~biased echochamber, they want something that's not a heavily-biased echochamber.