this post was submitted on 18 Jun 2024
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Greentext

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[–] [email protected] 102 points 9 months ago

If ur 30+ you can have romantic moments with women, which is nice.

[–] [email protected] 91 points 9 months ago

Well, if anon thinks he is too late at 30+ years, it will become a self-fulfilling prophecy.

[–] [email protected] 59 points 9 months ago (2 children)

I don't know if this helps, but I didn't meet my wife until I was in my forties. You have time.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 9 months ago (1 children)

But I'm guessing she wasn't your first relationship?

[–] [email protected] 4 points 9 months ago

Correct, but the other ones sucked

[–] [email protected] 5 points 9 months ago (3 children)

What d about fifties? Asking for a friend ..

[–] [email protected] 8 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Obviously you are completely alone in your fifties being single, everyone else is in happy relationships.

If the sarcasm wasn't clear, it's literally never too late.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 9 months ago

I had a friend during nurse training who divorced at 50, thought she was never going to be in another relationship, then met someone with whom she was happier than she ever imagined.

It's definitely possible.

People can get married to the right person in their 20s or 30s, change into different people, split up and find that someone else is now the right person.

You also get access to a much larger widow/widower market once you pass 50...

[–] [email protected] 4 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (1 children)

As @[email protected] said: it's never too late to start being lovely.

As long as you're alive and capable of communicating, it's possible.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (1 children)

As long as you’re alive and capable of communicating

...here we go with the impossible standards.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 9 months ago

What can I say? I'm high maintenance 🤷😁

[–] [email protected] 2 points 9 months ago

It's never, never too late. I've seen men aged 60-75 get GFs and wives. One of them even had children with his new wife. Talk of the town is that one of these men never had a partner before.

[–] [email protected] 49 points 9 months ago (1 children)

its never too late to start being lovely

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[–] [email protected] 42 points 9 months ago (1 children)

At 30+ my romantic relationships are far more personal and romantic then any relationship I had in my 20's...

[–] [email protected] 11 points 9 months ago

Well you had relationships in your 20s though?

[–] [email protected] 35 points 9 months ago (2 children)

Nothing triggers my depression more than seeing happy couples

[–] [email protected] 50 points 9 months ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 11 points 9 months ago

depression, not aggression

...but thanks for the meme, I chuckled

[–] [email protected] 6 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

I will always upvote scrubs! Man it's been too long...

[–] [email protected] 9 points 9 months ago

It takes a lot of work and compromise. You are getting one glance at a lifetime.

I got married sorta recently. My biggest hold-up was the fact that the most optimal outcome of marriage was this: I was going to spend the remainder if my life making them happy, always being there, and being an essential part of their existence, and when they need me most, in their golden days, near the end, they're gonna have to hold my hand and watch me fucking die.

I told them this before I proposed, and the crazy thing was, they were still all for it.

[–] [email protected] 28 points 9 months ago

If you insist on it being a girl, then yeah, it's too late. Adult relationships have their own brand of sweet and romantic.

[–] [email protected] 27 points 9 months ago (1 children)

30 is too old to date a girl, yes. Not too old to date a woman though.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 9 months ago

Yup, my brother married a wonderful woman when he was in his late 30s. They've been married >5 years and they still seem happy.

I've known people who found love much later as well. It's never too late OP.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 9 months ago (2 children)

It's a bitter pill to swallow, but the truth is that some people just aren't meant to be loved. I think accepting that is, for some people, a bit part of growing up and becoming a more mature person. You gotta stop being envious of others who possess something you never will and just kinda...get on with your life. Find a cause you care about. Put your energy elsewhere. Maybe stop watching romcom anime.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 9 months ago (1 children)

A big part of the problem is that society as a whole took upon itself to ridicule these people are just aren't meant to be loved.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 9 months ago

I don't know if that's a part of the problem or just a separate problem altogether. We expect people to partner up, when we should normalize people being alone. When people don't or can't, we might be hardwired in our monkey brains to see them as outcasts from the group.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (2 children)

That's pretty much where I'm at. I'm 38 and supremely pathetic in the eyes of society. I've just accepted that I'm entirely undesirable and live how I want to, or at least live in the way I'm allowed to. In a way I've turned into my parents where I find myself saying "life isn't a fairy tale" to people kinda often lol there is no "someone for everyone."

Love is for other people.

Homeownership is for other people.

Career enjoyment is for other people.

Retirement is for other people.

It is what it is.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 9 months ago (1 children)

I'm not completely discounting the possibility you're right, it is possible you're just very unlucky, but your line of thinking is pretty consistent with people suffering from depression, and depression tends to make you make decisions that make you stay depressed.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 9 months ago (1 children)

I could see that. I've been in that state for over 20 years now so "depression" just kinda became "normal."

[–] [email protected] 3 points 9 months ago

Not for quite as long, but I've been there my friend.

I don't know how to tell you how to alleviate depression, but I can say that if you manage to, things may look drastically more hopeful afterwards. When you're really truly depressed, the idea that things can get better just doesn't make sense. You can't trust your ability to judge that though because when you're depressed the part of your brain you need for that just isn't working right. It's not capable of telling you whether normal happiness is possible, you no longer have the tools you need to judge things accurately.

If you're like I was, your depression also tells you that you are special in that the ideas that work for a lot of people who go down a path of trying to get better just wouldn't work for you and it will take any minor setbacks as proof of the same. Your depression isn't exactly lying to you, it's just stupid and it's not qualified to determine that.

I'm pulling for you.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Is there something that is (or could be) for you?

[–] [email protected] 5 points 9 months ago

Chocolate. Definitely chocolate. :P

[–] [email protected] 10 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Everyone complaining about the gross vibes of the post, which like yeah, true. But also even within the framing of the post itself it's just bad. The second and third lines are basically "realise X". The third line adds nothing of value to the original OP's intent.

[–] [email protected] 29 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (6 children)

What gross vibes?

Don't lump the guy in with incels. He's not blaming other people for his problems, or complaining. He's just lamenting. I don't see anything in his post that's gross. Leave a lonely dude alone. God forbid he let himself feel sad for 5 seconds.

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[–] [email protected] 9 points 9 months ago

I spent most of my 20s alone, and met the woman I married at age 33. It's never too late.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

Meh, it can be easy to feel like that. But take a moment to look at all the songs, movies, poems, and books about people who felt this way since the begining of time and know you're not alone :) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ovoBi3pXD_A

[–] [email protected] 5 points 9 months ago

He needs to switch from romance animes to hallmark romance Christmas movies

[–] [email protected] 3 points 8 months ago

Lol relatable haha

Time to buy a rope

[–] [email protected] 3 points 9 months ago

decide to write a manga