this post was submitted on 05 Dec 2024
886 points (100.0% liked)

Microblog Memes

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A place to share screenshots of Microblog posts, whether from Mastodon, tumblr, ~~Twitter~~ X, KBin, Threads or elsewhere.

Created as an evolution of White People Twitter and other tweet-capture subreddits.

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[–] [email protected] 295 points 5 months ago (6 children)
[–] [email protected] 186 points 5 months ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 63 points 5 months ago (2 children)

Jeans

(portmanteau of jeans and beans)

[–] [email protected] 28 points 5 months ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 13 points 5 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 6 points 5 months ago
[–] [email protected] 10 points 5 months ago

It always ends with trains...

WHERE DID YOU LEARN THAT WORD???

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[–] [email protected] 22 points 5 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 18 points 5 months ago (1 children)

It’s not fair, you’re baiting us

(I literally just thought to myself “found the vegan” before reading your username)

[–] [email protected] 10 points 5 months ago (2 children)

It's not even bait, y'all just predictable with the same exact phrase every time. I mean.... you're not even the first person today. If I can beat everyone to the punch before ya finish thinking it, then is it still fun to say?

Idk. Feels like a Chuck Norris joke at this point.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 5 months ago (5 children)

Well I thought it, I wasn’t planning on saying anything until I saw your username and figured you were playful about it.

But do you really think it’s non-vegans who know what black salt (or whatever other reference you make in your comments that typically “outs” you) is without looking it up? It’s probably mostly people who are also vegan and feel kinship that they’d like to point out. That’s why I wrote my comment at least 🤷

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[–] [email protected] 6 points 5 months ago (1 children)

wth is a vegan? Did y'all just make up new slang for a meme or something? Please explain it to me

[–] [email protected] 7 points 5 months ago (9 children)

It’s a person who aims to do the least harm to and exploitation of animals practicable. Vegans don’t all agree with each other, but generally they don’t eat any animal products (food waste and somehow honey are common disagreements among vegans), nor would they buy new leather products (some might buy secondhand, but others won’t even hold on to a pair of shoes they bought and wore for years before going vegan).

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[–] [email protected] 16 points 5 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 11 points 5 months ago

i humger HAHA

[–] [email protected] 9 points 5 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 8 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (1 children)

�̸̳̯͎̭̠̞̙̘̎̋̏̀̑̍̊̔͘͜🤣�̷̲̼̼͚͒̆͑̓͌͌̌̃̑̚ͅ

[–] [email protected] 8 points 5 months ago (2 children)

I need to see this with 200 upvotes.

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[–] [email protected] 6 points 5 months ago

I love how this is the first thing I see and was well over 200 likes

[–] [email protected] 125 points 5 months ago (2 children)

I almost thought it was gonna be the same person...

[–] [email protected] 34 points 5 months ago (4 children)

It's prudent to have a backup egg in case one breaks.

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[–] [email protected] 9 points 5 months ago

Howtobasic unmasked.

[–] [email protected] 58 points 5 months ago

Step 1: be attractive

[–] [email protected] 48 points 5 months ago

Sounds like someone can check "date an abusive person" of their life checklist

[–] [email protected] 46 points 5 months ago (2 children)

I wonder why she gets so many likes ( Y )

[–] [email protected] 13 points 5 months ago (1 children)

This guy got just as many and he's not even sexy text.

https://discuss.tchncs.de/comment/14831208

Maybe it's not the boobs afterall.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 5 months ago

Jokes on you, I do have boobs. They're invoking upvote magic even when hidden.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 5 months ago (5 children)
[–] [email protected] 32 points 5 months ago (2 children)

And you dated this person why?

[–] [email protected] 38 points 5 months ago (2 children)

how else can anyone afford to live

[–] [email protected] 26 points 5 months ago (3 children)

Sell pictures of your feet on the Internet.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (2 children)

You would not believe how saturated that market is. Seriously, you cannot just sell feet pics with no effort, that shit takes dedication, skill & no small amount of luck. The percentage of women who are willing to trade large sums of money for pics of their feet is almost 100%.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 5 months ago (1 children)

What's the market for men's feet looking like?

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[–] [email protected] 11 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Heck, if Lily Allen needs to do that to make ends meet, what hope do the rest of us have?

[–] [email protected] 7 points 5 months ago

According to your username you could sell pics of your lobes!

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[–] [email protected] 10 points 5 months ago

Probably because she liked him.

[–] [email protected] 27 points 5 months ago (2 children)

That's when you break up with him, he sounds unhinged and potentially dangerous

[–] [email protected] 12 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (2 children)

...or just has autism or something? Sheesh.

Edit: People downvote me, but this just screams neurodivergence. I say this as someone who is significantly neurodivergent. Just because they're easily upset by things that don't upset others does not mean they are even remotely dangerous lmao. That's an insane conclusion to jump to.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Down votes are because its far more likely the cause was jealousy than autism.

Also you seem to have sympathy for the person who's acting like an asshole in this story. Even if they are autistic, its still shitty and she isnt required to put up with it.

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[–] [email protected] 8 points 5 months ago (3 children)

The chicken was first and I'm willing to die on this hill

[–] [email protected] 23 points 5 months ago (5 children)

So, at one point the evolutionary predecesssor of the chicken must have laid a chicken egg. I respect your right to choose where you die though.

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[–] [email protected] 9 points 5 months ago

eggs existed long before chickens

[–] [email protected] 9 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Hate to be the bearer of bad news but eggs were a thing way before chickens

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[–] [email protected] 7 points 5 months ago (1 children)

I honestly empathize with guy

[–] [email protected] 18 points 5 months ago (3 children)

The world becomes a lot easier to tolerate when you accept that other people like weird shit and that's ok.

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