this post was submitted on 03 Jan 2025
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Lemmy Shitpost

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top 25 comments
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[–] TheImpressiveX@lemm.ee 64 points 3 months ago (1 children)

I guess you could say she...overdosed on speed.

[–] MutilationWave@lemmy.world 54 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (1 children)

So I was 20 years old and driving drunk. Yes I was/am an idiot. I have never driven drunk in the 21 years since. I was so stupid I was trying to creep alleyways instead of just driving normally to get back to my apartment.

I pulled out of an alley and a man in a truck speeding very much over the limit hit the front right on the car I was driving, totalling both. He hit me so hard my car spun over 360 degrees, off the road and into a tree. We were both unhurt.

So I get out of the car and approach the guy who's cussing me out and getting his phone. I begged him not to call the police (which was a joke this was a bad crash right across the tracks from downtown, not like they weren't coming anyway). The guy says fuck you and calls the cops.

He was drunk too. We rode to jail handcuffed side by side in the same car. We got out on PR next day and we see each other. The guy is like hey motherfucker you cost me my job. I just said you called the cops on yourself!

Don't drive drunk kids. I was broke and this left me without a car for eight years as I couldn't get enough money together to pay the fine and take the classes, which was way way more than the price of a decent used car. I was also sentenced to additional time in county jail and it's the most scared I've ever been, and I'd had guns shoved in my face twice before this happened, and I'd been beaten by three cops in custody on another occasion. Jail was fucking terrifying. Just don't do it. There's always another option.

[–] TriflingToad@sh.itjust.works 18 points 3 months ago (1 children)
[–] Flocklesscrow@lemm.ee 5 points 3 months ago

That poor tree

[–] ryedaft@sh.itjust.works 30 points 3 months ago (2 children)
[–] Slovene@feddit.nl 9 points 3 months ago (1 children)
[–] Thelie@sh.itjust.works 7 points 3 months ago

It was a graveyard graph.

[–] r00ty@kbin.life 2 points 3 months ago (1 children)
[–] ryedaft@sh.itjust.works 6 points 3 months ago

Singular they. Because it doesn't specify the gender of the person who died.

[–] henfredemars@infosec.pub 13 points 3 months ago (1 children)

I don't understand this joke.

[–] Quill7513@slrpnk.net 49 points 3 months ago (1 children)

in american football it is possible for a player on both squads to perform an equally egregious penalty, resulting in the officiating crew certifying the results of the play despite the presence of infractions. the other option, depending on the particular broken rules, is to replay the down

[–] W_itjust_works@sh.itjust.works 8 points 3 months ago (4 children)

Bro Wat? Just say: ”American Football bullshit." Sorry, your explanation hurt my head.

[–] Bassman1805@lemmy.world 26 points 3 months ago

I get it, "2 penalties canceling out" basically requires a master's degree. That's why you never see high school dropouts watching American football while halfway through a case of beer.

[–] OuterRem@lemmy.ml 24 points 3 months ago (2 children)

American Football, where two wrongs CAN equal a right. Provided they’re wrong enough.

[–] kameecoding@lemmy.world 6 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (1 children)

Not equally wrong? Or do they have to be both equally(ish) wrong and egregious?

I know nothing of american football

[–] Quill7513@slrpnk.net 4 points 3 months ago (1 children)

it has to have a yardage offset of like kind for the play to count, and i think both infractions must be of the 5 yard variety, so basically a defender needs to be offsides and an offensive lineman needs to hold (probably the offside defender). anything else the penalties offset and you replay the down

[–] kameecoding@lemmy.world 2 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Well I looked into it a bit, and interestingly those are indeed words that you used there.

[–] LifeInMultipleChoice@lemmy.dbzer0.com 5 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

To start a play both teams line up in an approved formation. Those who are directly on the line are called lineman. Those standing behind them are line backers. The ones giving support from the corners (out by the people trying to catch the ball:receivers) are called corner backs. And the ones way back for safety measures (ball being thrown way down field) are called safteys.

Offsides, means someone was over the line

False start: means someone on the line started moving before the play started.

Not that you likely care about any of it but all of the names in football are very basic straight to the point names.

"Hands to the face" <hitting someone's helmet/face region

"Facemask" < grabbing someone's face mask "Unnecessary roughness" < you got it

Most of them are all there to reduce injuries and balance the chances/advantages of each side.

Sports are meant to be easy so anyone can pick them up quickly. The hardest part of football is just understanding you have 4 downs to move 10 yards. Failure to do so, ball goes to the other team.

[–] Skullgrid@lemmy.world 5 points 3 months ago

Provided by : innane advertising! Nothing fills downtime like loud ads!

Or so I've heard, I've never seen a broadcast of handegg in my entire life.

Except rugby.

[–] ShellMonkey@lemmy.socdojo.com 22 points 3 months ago

Sorry, we'll try and write slower for you...

[–] Pacattack57@lemmy.world 22 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (1 children)

He could not have explained it any better and your response is: “I’m a moron”

Well done sir.

[–] batmaniam@lemmy.world 5 points 3 months ago

Listen this isn't a fancy sport like futbol where they just make up extra time at the end.

[–] dragonfucker@lemmy.nz 4 points 3 months ago

Car drivers killing car drivers. Same old story.

[–] Pacattack57@lemmy.world 3 points 3 months ago

Net win for the community