World News

Good thing we've got so many international allies and are known for being such a stable, reliable economic partner. Now, if you'll excuse me, I haven't read the news in two months and I need to catch up on current events.

Let me see... since new years you have threatened to annex Greenland, had Musk call our finest astronaut retarded, called our Prime Minister retarded, recently Roger Stone called one of our conservative politicians a sick demented asshole on Twitter when said politician asked for the general secretary of NATO to not joke about Trump and Greenland and... oh yeah, Trump and Vance attacked and insulted our dear friend, President Zelenskyj on world wide TV.

So...... how about no? Oh, I'm sorry: no, thank you.

Ask for 50% mineral rights and a thank you.

Hilarious. The US reaching out to the people they've insulted, threatened or victimized in some way, shape or form and asking them for help. And when they get refused, they'll tell the American people that everyone is being so mean to them.

FUCK THAT. Let's see eggs go to $5/each. We need to face the consequences of our collective fucking idiot electoral choices.

Citizen of the United States here. Don’t. Assume whatever this orange anal fistula offers to pay will in fact not be paid. Assume whatever agreement brokered will immediately be ignored or violated. Assume this pus filled clementine will still try to “take” Greenland.

Let this shithole 3rd world country burn. It asked for fascism in the form of egg prices, let them deal with their egg prices.

I would not send a single good egg until Jan 2029.

The Norwegian government will offer eggs, and we will only ask for the state of New York or as we like to call it: Nye Jorvik. The citizens of Nye Jorvik will enjoy all the benefits from a stabile, functioning social democracy.

Air delivered eggs from another continent, surely they're going to be cheap. If only there were at least two neighboring countries that could be able to send them for cheaper...

The eggs aren't even that much more expensive to produce. The hit has only been about 2%. There's still plenty of eggs. And it's the same with getting free range eggs instead of battery/cage - the increase in production price is pretty small, really.

It comes down to the same thing: the market charging premiums. They charge more for free range because it's 'luxury'. They charge more for organic because it's 'lifestyle'. And they charge more for eggs during US strife because it's 'supply and demand'.

They have the supply. They also have an excuse, and nobody is regulating them. The country doesn't need to buy eggs en masse, it needs to regulate pricing.

Denmark: Did you say "please" even once?

I don't know if it helps anyone, but you don't need eggs to survive

This is why we HAD allies. Had. To assist with the largesse we consume as Americans. You don’t get to swing your orange dick around at the world, offending and assaulting every ally, and then ask for help.

Ask Canada… oh, wait!

WOMP WOMP WOMP, EH?

Kneel down and beg.

everything except actually putting the companies responsible in check.

"You will become part of the US."

two days later....

"Bro my egg prices are high, can you help a brotha out?"

As a true American, don't help us with eggs, it'l hurt your country in the long run. Let us suffer so we can get our heads out of our asses and purge the nazis.

Trumpty Dumpty

This is a joke right? Something from the Onion? Why would any country help out Trump now?

I thought the US didn’t need anything from anyone else? Isn’t that what you said?

I would love to see NATO countries (besides the US) band together and say:

”We will come together to support our great ally, so long as she saves herself. Upon the acceptance of President Trump's and Vice President Vance's resignation, we will provide the aid that our friend needs."

Trump could, in fact, be the hero here. He could walk away from the presidency with a win. For added measure, these countries could write lofty and wonderful articles about Trump's selflessness.

We know he won't.

Aside: I'm not saying Mike Johnson would make a good president. But let's take this one thing at a time.

Yeah, good luck with that America after you've insulted and threatened every ally that would sell us eggs.

Dumbasses.

We use the word eggs in German the way yankies use nuts or balls. That said, yes, you can swallow our eggs, dear US government.

Has America considered asking Panama for eggs? Or Gaza?

Well, well, well... if it isn't the consequences of your own actions

Yah, we're going to need you to go fuck yourself.

Hold the line Denmark. Don't pull a fucking Australia. Fuck those guys.

Friends! Canadians! Countries of unfamiliar spellings! Lend me your eggs!

No, fuck you.

Oh, so now the US has pivoted to strongman style diplomacy where you rattle your sabre and then ask for concessions? I've bought a fresh carton of eggs last week, Orange Felon and his tech bro boyfriend can have them projectile delivered straight to their stupid mugs.

Friendly reminder that eggs aren't a required part of a healthy diet, from your friendly neighborhood vegan!

Government: Runs into crowd of friends while winging haymakers.

Friends: JFC what the hell dude!?

Government: Fuck you, now give me your house. ... ... ... Can you spot me $50 until payday?

I'm not saying we should...

But negative tariffs on eggs coming out of the USA and ridiculous tariffs on eggs going into the USA would tickle my funny bone

And they all answered "yes, you can eat our eggs, but not how you would expect"