Whenever I ask someone out I make sure to explicitly use the word date. I don't know how people fuck that up so often. The bad feels of uncertainty over many hours (or days) are so much worse than the brief stress of just asking.
this post was submitted on 23 Mar 2025
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So if you just want to ask them out to get to know them without any romantic intentions, do you specify it's not a date too?
Yes but subtly. "Friend-date", "My friend and i", "I've been enjoying hanging out together, i'm glad we've become friends".
Sometimes you do actually have to spell out that you aren't interested romantically.
My girlfriend tells me that sometimes.
I don't have a girlfriend, but I know a woman who would be mad at me for saying that
RIP, Mitch
I have done so sometimes. Like I met a guy friend of mine at a party and I made sure to clarify I don't date men when pitching we should get drinks sometime since we're basically neighbors.
But I also don't think I often ask people to do one on one things outside of dating or established friendships.
The other person could have easily avoided this awkwardness. They could have just said “I like you too”. Like yeah they misread the situation. Even if they were actual dates it doesn’t automatically mean the other person has feelings for them. People often go on dates without having any preexisting feelings for the other person. And just want to go out for a good time. Even kissing and sex doesn’t always mean the other person is into you. It’s not uncommon that the other person starts developing feelings after a few dates.
Is it misreading, or did the other person take their flirting too literally.
What a blessed life, if that is the most embarrassing moment.
I've been with my wife for over ten years and still occasionally tell her I've got a crush on her.
I ~~googled~~ StartPaged "TGing" thinking it was some new abbreviated slang I hadn't seen yet
I came to the comments to try and figure it out. Still haven’t, but I’m with you (I also use Startpage)
Edit: of course, the answer was just below where I’d gotten
I may have some questions:
- what is tging?
- what is the problem here, is here a problem?
- if yes, who is responsible for it?
I'm old, I guess.
Edit: Thanks for the replies. I assumed you just can go to multiple dates, if you are just interested or if you want to find out more about the other person. Crushes sometimes can develop over time.
Also I was too dumb to see tging as a typo. I was thinking it could be tinder related (I'm tindering => i'm tging or it's tinder thing => it's a tging... whatever, did I mention I'm dumb?)
- “H” is next to “g” on the keyboard, so “tging” is “thing”.
- The person is embarrassed about not understanding that they’ve been on three dates with someone (probably just seeing it as hanging out)
- These two people obviously like each other romantically, but one has seen that fact as openly implied while the other has not
I think they misspelled the word thing. There doesn't seem to be a problem, both parties want the same thing, though one wasn't aware the thing is already happening. Judging by the chat bubbles the poster is the one "behind" in their relationship. Hope that clears that up.
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thing typo
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no idea
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no idea
I'm old too
That's just a misspelling of the word "thing"
Edited to add: I think the problem was that the person confessed to their crush after they had three dates where they also probably already confessed which I assume was extremely embarrassing for them given the post.
I don't think Mary is even trying...