Given that humans are mostly water, we would probably die...instantly? Within a few minutes?
Definitely very very quickly.
this post was submitted on 07 Jul 2025
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Obviously that's not what "replace all water with milk" means. It means just replacing the water in water form. Like oceans, rivers, and aqueducts. If it meant also the water content of other stuff like the body it just wouldn't be possible, because milk is mostly water and you would have to replace that as well
It is a genie. That's exactly what it means when she says "replace all the water in the world with milk". Genies hate people. They are malicious spirits that have been imprisoned by sorcerrers to serve them and their wishes. The only thing is that it probably isn't going to work because they are not omnipotent and have limited power usually. Enough to "fulfill a wish" of a greedy dude and fuck them over in the process, but not enough to destroy the universe.
But even a genie can't replace the water in milk with milk because it doesn't make sense, so that cannot be the genie's interpretation of the wish
Have you never done a "replace all" in a word document?
All of the water inside milk is now milk. All the stuff that wasn't water that had already been in milk is now mixed in with the new milk. You have double milk. Mmilklk.
But by replacing the water part of the milk with milk you've replaced some of that water with water which isn't replacing it with milk, and if you keep going you've replaced all water with butter which is not milk.
The wish wasn't worded recursively.
Replace all water with evaporated milk, all life dies instantly
What we call "milk" contains around 87% water. All water now contains 13% pure milk. Done.
Genies hate people
"As a reward for freeing me"
Doesn't sound like this one does.
Genies lie, they are malicious. They want to screw you over but are compelled to grant you those.
Often, but not always. Robin Williams' Genie wasn't malicious, Hell, even when he could have chosen to interpret Jafar's wishes to not give him what he wanted, he didn't.
Genies like to fuck with you, they would be fine killing everyone
Nah, there'd be nobody around for them to torture anymore, or to appreciate this particular bit of fuckery. The wish as it is is bad enough there's no need to twist it.
The problem is you're trying to apply logic to magic. Magic doesn't do things logically, it just does them.
Magic is that --force flag you put into your commands (sorry).
It's just more milk per milk
I wonder what happens if you rehydrate evaporated milk with milk?
Approximately the same as if you just use half as much water, thicker milk
Now you have to define "water form". What percentage of dissolved constituents prevent water from being "water form"? Or is it how it looks rather than what's in it?
It's possible to have a brine solution of 25% salt that looks like ordinary water, at least at first glance, for example. Would only the H2O molecules in that be replaced by milk or would the salt be replaced as well?
What if I add food dye to a glass of water beforehand? That doesn't look like water any more, so would that get turned into milk? Would the dye stay?
How about if I mixed an emulsifier, oil and chalk dust into a glass of water beforehand? That's not milk, but it looks like milk. What would happen with that? And then we're back to percentages again, I guess.
My definition is that if it's something that common sense would call water, it's water. This is the simple trick that defeats all stupid questions.
In your example, brine isn't water because it's brine, you even said that in the example.
And if you add food dye to a glass of water, it's water but colored. Even with you yourself wrote the example implying that it should be water.
The oil with chalk emulsified in water has nothing to do with milk, what does it matter that it looks like milk. And as you yourself implied, it should not be considered water, but an emulsion of stuff.
And notice how I avoided talking percentages, I simply questioned your own common sense. You didn't even think about it, and yet your common sense made the solution clear in your examples.
Another name for brine is "salt water". Now is it water or not?
You had to go out of your way for that. Not common sense. It's still not water.
Look, if I'm wrong, I'm wrong, but you're not making a good case here. Brine is also known as salt water. Just how much of a stretch is that? Sea water is salt water. Sea water is also known as brine. Depending on which term we use, either the sea turns into milk or it doesn't. This is a problem.
But then this is all a hypothetical and maybe the real bend is how far we're both getting out of shape over this :p
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A few days later it would be an interesting situation with all those rancid milk oceans with dead fish.
Free chowder!
Milktrout. It will put hair on your bones
I mean, having the shits is gonna be the least of our problems. All marine life will cease to exist, so diarrhea is only a problem for a little while.
She wouldn't have even had time to get to wish 2 and 3. "All water" includes the water in her body. Turning all of it into milk would probably kill you.
Plot twist: only destilated water got turned, effects are minimal
All toilets are still destroyed tho
For once the Money Paw clause is... helpful?
Make everyone lactose intolerance: everyone is a malfunctioning system now.
Sorry, she should have written:
Make everyone a lactose.
Milk is 87 percent water. If the water in milk is replaced, there would be water in that milk. Potentially creating an explosion of milk everywhere or a tremendous thickening of the milk.
All life on Earth dies because every life form has 13% of their water content replaced with pure milk. Including the one who made the wish. Supernatural entities like jinns might be okay, though.
Intolerant*
Yeah. I saw it too. But it's not bothering me enough to edit the original author's mistake
Perfection
tolerate it
But I'm grammar error intolerant 🙁
Cursed involuntary jet propulsion.
Normal milk is still mostly water so basically everything turns in some kind of dense rancid cheese?
Yes. Be afraid.
Lactose, shrimp. The next strip will be related to peanut butter.
You're in for a curveball
Yup, that sells her as evil way more than shitty recycling.
How well do toilets fare if water is replaced with milk?
Given that they were all destroyed right after all the water became milk, I would say not well
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