this post was submitted on 08 Jul 2025
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Lemmy Shitpost

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[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Maybe he can just try out one more haircut. Maybe to just below the chin. Preferably with a large blade falling from some height. All you need is a basket infront to catch anything that falls off.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 days ago (1 children)

But who will deliver my 2am drunk purchases next day for free? Communists? I didn't think so.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Robots? Communist robots? Who knows what could happen with the redistribution of wealth.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 days ago (1 children)

We already have delivery robots under capitalism, I'm afraid you'll have to make a better case than that.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 10 hours ago

Maybe just the redistribution of wealth then. Also maybe a guillotine. Even better, a mega guillotine!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YYJ5ZViYhHQ

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 days ago (4 children)

At $30 per haircut, you’d need about 8 billion haircuts skipped to save that much. Dude must cut his own hair every few milliseconds.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 day ago

At $30 per haircut

~~What? That cheap? When I went to a mediocre barber, I had to pay 35 eur, but now it's more like 45 eur.~~ ^(forgot to shitpost)

What kind of economy are you in? My haircuts are 48 million euro per month (they're on a subscription, but I locked in a good deal as an early adopter), that's why I'm not rich, no other reason.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 days ago

No one said it was gonna be easy.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 day ago

Bald leadership pays off.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 day ago

Two words: Compound interest 🚀

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Jeff Bezos cooking recipie.
Not need to shave Jeff Bezos before put him in oven.
Just stuff him like a chicken.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 days ago (1 children)

What sort of herbs and spices would you recommend?

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 days ago

Lemon & Thyme Roasted Chicken looks nice. Not sure how Jeff will apply to that recipe, maybe his meat is to old and it's only for coq au vin.

[–] [email protected] 40 points 3 days ago (4 children)

What the hell am I going wrong then? I've been bald for 3 years and I ain't got jack shit!

[–] [email protected] 38 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Perhaps you forgot to invest the savings into building a global e-commerce empire.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 3 days ago (4 children)

It's getting a 200K funding from your dad that's the real trick. He also worked for a large company making money at the time, he wasn't trying to survive.

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[–] [email protected] 11 points 3 days ago (1 children)

3 years? I've been bald for 20 years and I'm 300K down the hole, when does this trick kick in exactly?

[–] [email protected] 7 points 3 days ago

You spent it all on avocado toast, didn't you.

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[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 days ago (3 children)

Cheapest haircut in my town for my hair type is $75+tip. I just cut it myself now.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 days ago

Probably not as good as being bald, but you'll probably save at least a few billion.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Jesus christ.

Are you a woman and is that USD?

The most I've ever paid was $65AUD for a hearcut and beard trim in a mining town where the majority earned over 200k a year

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Yes, a woman, and yes USD. That’s the no-frills salon price for a trim for my hair which is “long/thick (curly)”. The more expensive places range into the $200s.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 day ago

I guess you can't go with my solution. Hell, if it gets any longer, I may actually need a haircut, but I haven't had one in 5 years.
I'm a guy; nobody cares about my hair.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 days ago

Good news, at this rate it will only take you 3178666666.66667 haircuts to be as rich as Jeff Bezos.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 days ago (1 children)

I stopped cutting my hair when Covid closed all the barbers. Got a fukin mane now. Dunno, seems to have worked out. Still waiting for my billions tho ...

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (1 children)

No, no, see this is why you will never make it.

You gotta be bald

I shaved my head and now I have billions... Of cells in my body

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[–] [email protected] 27 points 3 days ago (3 children)

Steve Jobs would wear the exact same outfit, Every. Single. Day. That's the kind of dedication needed, most people aren't cut out for it.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Dude didn't even shower to save on water bills.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (1 children)

He didn't even buy any expensive cancer medicine, he just drank smoothies.

/uj I'm not even making this shit up, he tried to beat his cancer with regulating his diet to include various fruits and vegetables and ended up using his private jet to jump ques on multiple organ donations , because , get this, YOU CAN'T BEAT CANCER BY EATING MORE FUCKING FRUIT.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 days ago (1 children)

I hate his guts, but his passing was a little bit therapeutic for me.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 days ago

I wonder just how much money he would have donated to fascists by now. Rest in peace, micromanaging megalomaniac monster.

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[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 days ago
[–] [email protected] 13 points 3 days ago (10 children)

don't fall for it, everything you save on barber visits you spend on razors

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 days ago

I know at least one person who thought about getting it lasered

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[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 days ago

#2 clipper and I do it myself. I try as best I can to chop away the gorilla fur from my neck to my shoulders with the beard attachment of my razor. ta dah.

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