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submitted 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

Hi all. Hope this is allowed here. I've been toying with the idea of getting a cat for the past several months now. I've actually never really interacted with cats, though. I don't even know if I'm allergic to them. I visited my coworker a couple of times and one of her cats rubs up against my leg to either greet or mark me and then goes elsewhere.

Some info on me:

  • Early 30s, lives alone, works ~40 hours a week in a NON wfh job (so I will not be home for significant portions of the week)
  • I do not have much of a social life, so most of my time outside of work is spent at home
  • I am very comfortable financially to own a pet. I frequently pay vet bills for my mom's dog who has ailing health.
  • I own my own place, ~1200 sq ft (111 sq m), and do not plan to leave any time soon
  • I do not plan to move, have a partner, or have children
  • It is impossible for me to ever wfh with my career and I do not want to change my career
  • I am familiar with taking care of dogs, and took care of my mom's dog on my own temporarily for 1 year without issue
  • I am only interested in owning a single pet, not two (I know people frequently get 2 cats to keep each other company)
  • I am interested in an adult cat, not a kitten
  • I don't do lengthy traveling, however I frequently visit my mom (and vice versa) for a couple of days at a time

One big important thing to note is that my mother and I take turns visiting each other every couple of weeks. It involves us traveling a couple of hours by car and then one of us staying with the other (either my place or my mom's place) for 2 days. My mom has a dog who is quite old and has ailing health, so I'm not sure how much longer she will live. Her dog is a small dog ~15 lbs, but is not necessarily great with other animals. She is ok with other dogs if they do not antagonize her, but I don't know if she would fight with a cat or not as she has never met one. Her dog also has bad separation anxiety. I have enough rooms in my house that I could separate the cat and dog when my mom visits, but idk if that is a ok or not. It also means that I might leave a cat home alone for a couple of days when I visit my mom. I have read that people can do this with cats, but I don't know if it is a good idea. I would plan to purchase pet cams, auto feeders, etc.

I still haven't had the balls to go down to the local Human Society and ask them about cats and cat adoption, but I don't know. I am thinking about going there tomorrow. Is my situation too complicated for me to have a cat? I feel like mentally it would be nice to have a companion to come home to every day. One of the reasons why I've never bothered to look into getting a pet is because I live alone and don't work from home and because my mom and I visit each other. Although I have experience with dogs, it seems like a cat might be more doable for my life situation.

Would this be too poor of a life for a cat?

Thanks for your time, all.

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[-] [email protected] 17 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

IMO any cat that has shelter, food, and a loving home is living a good life. Your time away for work won't bother them, a cat will spend 8+ hours sleeping even while you're around no problem. The longest I'd go on a multiday trip is 2 days without someone checking in and cleaning up liter boxes, with auto feeder I think you're good there too.

All that said - I'd still reconsider getting a pair. I wish we got ours together at the same time, we waited 2 years and it was a marked difference in my first cat's personality having a buddy (erm, sparring partner) and I do feel it's better for them in general. They'll do fine solo though. Don't let it deter you from a fuzzy friend.

[-] [email protected] 12 points 1 day ago

Why are you insisting on a single pet?

Cats are less socially dependent than dogs, but they are still social creatures who prefer to not be alone for 8+ hours a day.

Either work from home so you can provide their social needs, or get two cats so that their social needs can be met even when you're not there (also makes taking vacation and travelling easier).

Seriously why would you insist on only a single pet? That seems insanely arbitrary.

[-] [email protected] 8 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

Because I don't feel like I can care for multiple pets as a single person who lives alone? I know some do, but I am not comfortable with that. I don't understand why that is so odd. As I stated, my situation is exactly why I've never entertained this idea to begin with before recently.

My career doesn't allow me to work from home. Not everyone has that type of a career. I am compensated well for what I do, so I am not interested in changing careers. If my conditions are harmful to a pet, then I won't get one. That's why I'm inquiring here.

[-] [email protected] 3 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

Because I don't feel like I can care for multiple pets as a single person who lives alone? I know some do, but I am not comfortable with that.

But the question is why?

What about owning two pets seems more difficult than one?

I've owned multiple cats bonded to me and each other, and I've owned a single cat bonded to just me, the former is much much easier.

[-] [email protected] 2 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

I have experience taking care of one dog. I don't have experience with taking care of multiple pets concurrently and don't really feel comfortable doing so. I've never taken care of a single cat, so immediately jumping into two sounds incredibly daunting and I am quite frankly just not interested in doing so considering I have zero experience in that. It will already have the potential to be complicated enough when my mom visits with her elderly dog.

[-] [email protected] 4 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

I don't have experience with taking care of multiple pets concurrently and don't really feel comfortable doing so. I've never taken care of a single cat, so immediately jumping into two sounds incredibly daunting and I am quite frankly just not interested in doing so considering I have zero experience in that.

I get what you're saying, for a responsible pet owner, it's always nerve wracking going into pet ownership and taking on a dependent.

But my point is that jumping into cat ownership is jumping into cat ownership. You're going to have to keep their water full, pour some food in their bowls a couple times a day, clean their litter, and then play and cuddle with them every day. Once a year you have to put them in a carrier and bring them to the vet.

Adding a second cat to that situation means that you pour a second bowl of food, fill up a second bowl of water, clean a second litter box when you clean the first, and once a year put two cats in carriers rather than just one. At the same time the amount you need to play with them and cuddle them every day decreases substantially.

With one cat, going away on vacation means that you basically need to find a cat sitter, or you leave them just sitting at the door waiting for you all day getting depressed. With two cats, they get sad but then play and cuddle and bond with each other.

You keep saying stuff like 'im just not interested' which isn't an explanation, it's a thought terminating phrase. Take it from us experienced cat owners when we say that in your situation, it's would be great to adopt two cats, and cruel to adopt just one.

Edit: it is different if you adopt an elderly isolated cat that would otherwise be put down. In that situation, you'll still be providing them with a life, but if you do get through to them, they will bond to you, and it will still make leaving for trips difficult, even if they're used to your daily absence. A support network is inherently more flexible and robust then a support pair.

[-] [email protected] 2 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

Jeez, alright, man. I get it. My lifestyle would harm a single pet. That's why I never considered having a companion until meeting my coworker's cat. I'll drop the idea.

[-] [email protected] 4 points 1 day ago

Lol nah you seem fine, get the cat, please don't let a single internet comment deter you. Explain your situation to someone at a shelter/rescue and if they're okay with you having a cat, then its probably fine.

Its better to have a cat in a home that barrely meets the minium requirements, rather than having a cat be put down or stuck in the shelter for a long time, possibly for the rest of its life.

When you getting a cat, you're not just helping that one cat, you're also freeing up that space for another cat to be saved, instead of being put down.

[-] [email protected] 3 points 1 day ago

Don’t listen to that fool. You are perfectly qualified to care for a cat. I’m probably less qualified than you, and my cats are happy and love me.

[-] [email protected] 2 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

I edited my comment after with this because I thought I was coming off too harsh against the idea, and even this I would soften further:

Edit: it is different if you adopt an elderly isolated cat that would otherwise be put down. In that situation, you'll still be providing them with a life, but if you do get through to them, they will bond to you, and it will still make leaving for trips difficult, even if they're used to your daily absence. A support network is inherently more flexible and robust then a support pair.

The fact that you're putting this much thought and consideration into it, signals that you would probably be a very good cat owner, and I don't think you should write the idea off.

Just, try and find a cat that seems independent, and 6 months or a year in, look back and reconsider if it would actually be that much harder to add a friend to the mix.

[-] [email protected] 2 points 1 day ago

Two cats aren’t much more work than one cat, and they will entertain each other so there is less pressure on you to play with cat toys every day. Do whatever you want, the cat will be fine, but I just thought you’d like to know that double the cats aren’t double the work.

[-] [email protected] 1 points 1 day ago

There are definitely cats that need companionship and lots of socializing, but there are also cats that are perfectly content with an hour or two of your time, and cuddling in and lying on your bed with you while you sleep can also fulfill that need. 40 hours a week still means plenty of time with you physically in the house. I've had cats all my life and seen lots of personalities. I think it'll be important to find the right cat but they are absolutely out there. I say go for it.

[-] [email protected] 10 points 1 day ago

Two would be better so they can keep each other entertained, but you said you wanted an adult cat and I'm sure there's some poor elderly kitties who would be fine being an only pet. Sometimes the older rescues weren't socialized and don't get along with other animals, so that would be totally fine for you. If that's the case, you almost certainly would have to separate the cat and dog.

I have a "problem" cat that was a spoiled only child, though she begrudgingly accepted a new sister after a while. I'm convinced she would be absolutely content as an only cat.

[-] [email protected] 10 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

Sounds like you're in a pretty good position to get cat honestly. Some prefer to live with other animals but others are completely content being the only pet. They're fairly independent and would be totally fine with you being out of the house for work every day. A nice advantage of getting a cat that's in foster care is that the foster parents have a really good idea of their personality and can help you find a good fit for your life. It's generally not a problem to leave them for a few days, ideally cats should be getting more wet food than dry food, but every once in a while wouldn't be a problem. I would say go for it, they bring a lot of joy to your life

[-] [email protected] 9 points 1 day ago

There are cats out there who would prefer to be an only cat, so tell the people at the humane society that you're looking for that, and they might even have some adoptable cats to suggest right away. When I was looking to adopt a cat who'd be good with my other cat, I ran across a bunch who were great with people and not other cats. I don't think you'll have trouble.

[-] [email protected] 8 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

Many humane societies welcome fostering and it allows you not just a chance to answer all these questions but also a chance to see how well you fit with a specific cat.

Don't allow yourself to get peer-pressured into multiple pets at the start. Every cat is different and some sleep so much and are so low energy that they won't notice your absence while others will miss you right away. Fostering will help you sort this out as well.

I think everyone's life could be made better with a cat in it. The fact that you're aware and concerned with a future pet's wellbeing in your care makes me think you're going to be a great caretaker.

[-] [email protected] 7 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

I've had cats my whole life, starting at 2 or 3 years old. Your future kitty will have a good life, even if you are not WFH. Cats are more independent than dogs.

Keep your kitty fed, warm, clean it's litter, and be kind to it. Be patient with it when it inevitably does something frustrating to you - it's a cat, after all. Don't remove its claws - this is like removing your fingertips up to the first knuckle.

There are more things, but these are the biggest.

[-] [email protected] 7 points 1 day ago

Yeah, I think it would be a great fit. Cats sleep for 16+ hours a day and can be alone for 2 days as long as they have food, water, and clean litter boxes.

Note that you'll need 2 litter boxes, as there should be n + 1 litter boxes where n is the number of cats. Two cats would be better (most cats like having a buddy) but a single, older cat is totally fine! Just be sure to hang out with them.

I don't know about your humane society, but mine just lets you make appointments to see the cats, you don't have to commit to adoption and they're not pushy about it. You can just cuddle and play with some kitties if you want.

[-] [email protected] 7 points 1 day ago

A cat would be perfect for you. Maybe not a kitten, though. They require more attention. Visit shelters, and see if one of the older cats takes a shine to you.

[-] [email protected] 4 points 1 day ago

The biggest problems I see are the time left alone and being a single cat. This situation would work fine if you had already established a long relationship and you knew their behaviors, but a new cat, even an adult one, needs to bond with its new human companion, and a few days here and there isn't going to do it well. Then there's behavior, you don't know any of its history and how it might do in your home alone. It could be totally fine, or it could get scared/mad/bored and start tearing up things or even hurt itself. Which leads to the next point, while some cats can be solitary, most do like another companion to play with (can be a dog, sometimes they pair well, but usually cats) so they don't get bored.

I think the problem for you isn't if a cat would work, but finding the right cat, and unfortunately you can't know how they will do thrown into that without time to help them adjust.

[-] [email protected] 2 points 1 day ago

You might like to start our fostering. It’s a great way to see if you can fit a cat into your life. As others have said, I think you will enjoy having a kitty. Maybe consider a senior. They are usually low energy

[-] [email protected] 3 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

Starting with 1 cat, especially after never having any cats before, is a smart idea. But know that it's very likely a pathway to 2. 2 will almost always be better than 1, unless you're just not ready for the idea of dealing with 2 different personalities. Oh, and never declaw a cat. If it already has been, that's one thing, but expect a lot of aggression, since they only have 2 methods on defense now, instead of 3.

For now, get a single cat from the shelter, tell them about your needs and expectations. Let them know that you, for now, wish to only have 1 cat, and to try to accommodate that. This will get you at least reasonably accustomed to dealing with how cats work; you will be training both the cat and yourself.

Now, maybe you'll never want more than 1 cat, you never have more than 1 cat, you get solo cats, more elderly, and keep on doing that as they continually die every so often, and maybe that's the life you live. And that would still be a good thing, because at least those cats would get some love and care, which is better than just not getting any cats at all.

For now, if you really want a cat, just go get a single cat. Take care of the fuzzball, and give it the love it needs. Maybe you'll change your mind in the future, maybe not. No one knows the future, even yourself. And that's okay.

[-] [email protected] 2 points 1 day ago

Just make sure the kitty has toys and scratch post to self-entertain while you're away, and that sounds like a great situation for a cat. Cats like when people give them space, in my experience. If you had a big social life I would say no, but it sounds like you're in a position to give plenty of attention when not at work. Gofor it! I think you'll be quite happy.

And as for the allergies, sounds like you're in the clear. About half the people I know with an allergy can't even be in the same room without having a reaction. Many others would also have a reaction from being brushed on by kitty.

[-] [email protected] 2 points 1 day ago

Get a cat. Cats are great. You’ll never want to live without a cat again.

Source: I have two cats.

[-] [email protected] 2 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

If you get a self cleaning litter box and a couple scratching posts you will have a good experience. Really w.e toys you get they will be fine with, but they will prefer all the things you don't give them. Straw wrappers, cardboard boxes, paper grocery bags. As for 8 hour days you'll be fine. The cat personality will dictate how it acts when you get home. Our cat acts like I have been gone for years if I leave for 30 minutes, even if my spouse was here the whole time. And other cats won't care much at all.

Most cats won't come on command, but most of my cats have come and cuddle and sleep in the bed. They will play, and they will want to sit with you on the couch. Sometimes less is more with a cat. I give the cat less attention than my spouse does, and the cat tends to want my attention more then.

Warning. They scratch things. Find them alternative things to scratch. And if you have a laptop, close the screen when you are not in the room, or they might scratch the keys out because they seem like toys. Also, when your laptop is closed it is like a warming pad, so they will probably try to nap on it. When you get up from the couch and go to the bathroom, they will follow you to the bathroom, then run back to the couch and try to nap where you were sitting because it's now a warm spot.

They are VERY easy pets. And mostly like warm spots to nap

[-] [email protected] 1 points 1 day ago

If you end up going for it I'd get two cats, ideally socialized ones from a shelter or previous owner. That way they're not lonely while you're gone and you can skip the (cute but much more involved) kitten stage.

[-] [email protected] 1 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

Not ideal with the time you are spending at work but doable.

Visiting your mum for a couple of days may be an issue. Is "couple of days" just one night? Or two nights and three days? I wouldn't recommend leaving cat on his own for more than one night/two days unless you have someone to pop in on regular basis.

You could consider a cat flap so your cat could go outside when you are not in. Just perhaps not straight away, give him a couple of weeks first.

[-] [email protected] 2 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

It is two days with one night in between (drive over Saturday morning and then back Sunday evening). Very rarely one additional night, but I haven't been wanting to do that lately. I used to drive in on Friday nights. But I have stopped wanting to drive over at night so I just do it the next morning.

[-] [email protected] 3 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

Two days/one night is certainly doable. Two nights (so three days) - you ideally should have someone to come in between.

Cats are great just remember they are not dogs. They don't have "owners", they have servants. They pretty much do what they want and when they want. They can also be very affectionate but that depends on a cat.

Best of luck mate.

[-] [email protected] 2 points 1 day ago

Thank you lol I will keep that in mind!

[-] [email protected] 1 points 1 day ago

If you're interested in hearing what the cat thinks, here's a podcast episode about that:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iHdnqpOFShc

this post was submitted on 26 Jul 2025
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