this post was submitted on 23 Oct 2023
309 points (93.5% liked)

Lemmy Shitpost

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Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

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top 29 comments
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[–] [email protected] 64 points 1 year ago (3 children)

I guess cry profusely after sex because I never get any

[–] [email protected] 21 points 1 year ago

Same

Option may as well have been "lose an eyelash every time you get elected president of Uzbekistan"

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago

Jokes on you, I'm into that shit.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Same! Virgins ASSEMBLE 💪

😭

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

... at a brothel

[–] [email protected] 28 points 1 year ago (1 children)

So seither i embaress myself everytime i shit or nothing happens?

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Embarrass? Dominate your dook dome. Yell with a nice, themly yell that says to everyone "that's a shit that's gonna take at least one flush"

[–] [email protected] 23 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

that's my superpower.

[–] [email protected] 21 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I already scream when I poop. It's not that big of a deal.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Wife in the other room: Are you ok!?

Me: Just prayin'

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago

ooAAAAAAAAAAA we're halfway there

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

livin on a prayer

[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 year ago

Poop scream would be fun.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 year ago

Green.

There are ways to dampen and quiet down the screaming.
Since you probably always poop alone, you can use external tools and no one will know.

So green can with experimenting and time lead to almost no side effects.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Wait, you’re telling me poop screams aren’t normal?

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

That's just Tuesday for my cat

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Red

Added bonus: I'll never cry.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Sometimes i wonder whether people are just joking or if there are really so many sex starved people out there.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

The absolute state of the people in this thread

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

There's a lot of us. Extreme shyness and such. Doesn't matter how cute and handsome you are, if you're too chickenshit to go talk to the girl smiling at you from across the bar. It's also difficult to know if she's really into you, she could just be Canadian. :D And then you have all the incels whom I really don't understand. But they have a whole subreddit, if you wanna go take a dip in the cesspool.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 year ago

I don't remember clicking those both buttons at the same time ... :|

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago

What if I already do this?

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

Happy feast of Winter Veil!

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago

Lol crying during sex can be cathartic

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago

So I only need to do one of these anymore? Thats improvement

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago
[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago