I always thought it was purely social conditioning, but I've got a theory that just popped in my head. I wonder if women need to be more vocal to communicate "Yes that's good, keep doing that"? Like frankly my partner is often in charge of pace, depth, and even calling for position changes. I'm letting him know with my noises how good something is for me, If you should keep doing it, or if I get quiet he knows to try something different. I don't mind him being quiet at all, until I'm on top and then I'm like I literally cannot tell if this is good for you. I have to ask out loud "is that good?" And then change something, "is that good?" After a blow-job I have to ask him, what parts did you like more than the other parts? Obviously I can tell he's into it overall, but It's really hard to know if a rhythm or amount of pressure is better than another if moaning doesn't increase when you try something. Like he can absolutely tell when he hits a good spot when fingering me because my moans make it very obvious. I will straight say, "yes," "please," "right there," "don't move." All kinds of stuff. It's not just about making it hotter for the other person, it's about communicating how good something is for you so they don't have to do as much guessing
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I just figured the guy's concentrating on keeping up the good work without blowing it.
I've also always thought it may have to do with social conditioning, but possibly on a non-sexual level. My thought is that guys are (generally) conditioned to be more quiet about intimate things, or things that are good, and more loud in "aggressive" situations. This fits well with the factual observation that men are less likely to talk about personal problems with a friend, and more likely to push the boundaries (be vocal) in an interview. In my head, it's an extension of the "strong, silent" stereotype, which is often regarded as positive. Women, on the other hand, are (typically) socially conditioned to be more vocal about feelings in general. I wouldn't be surprised if these conditionings bleed over into how vocal people are during sex.
With that said: I'm a guy, and my gf likes it when I make noises. Once I got used to it, I also learned to enjoy grunting. Grunting is highly recommended.
Trans woman here, and I can say from first hand experience that hormones change sexual response and desire. I'm guessing (and only guessing) that that is at least a part of the reason.
I know my own experience changed and i vocalise more, but even I can't tell you why.
Trans man, I would say I vocalize more now that I'm T but that might just have to do with my life circumstances significantly improving at the same time, so I tend use my voice more often in general.
I make some noise, no idea how enjoyable it is for the other person, mostly alot of grunting or abusive language. It gets comedic when I’m like, “Yeah bitch, I’m gonna fuck that pussy all night.” Then I cum like 10 seconds later.
This is why lesbians have better sex.
You have fingers and a mouth, you don't need to stop fucking all night after you cum.
As a straight, I wish I had fingers and a mouth. At least I can have multiple orgasms. Suck it, penis-owners!
Suck it, penis-owners!
Look, if we could we would, but then you'd never see us again.
As a straight, I wish I had fingers and a mouth.
Words cannot describe my confusion.
Suck it, penis-owners!
See people, that's the key to a good sex life, clear, concise communication.
As a straight male, I too have fingers and a mouth
I've just realised you all saw the word lesbian and short circuited, deciding everything following that word was supposedly all about lesbians, and not about the dude who says he stops fucking after he cums.
Bruh. Try rereading my comment this way, it might make it easier for you to parse without your fantasy lesbians distracting you in the first sentence.
You have fingers and a mouth, you don't need to stop fucking all night after you cum.
This is why lesbians have better sex.
Lol calm down it was an off hand joke. Not a great joke and it clearly didn't land but it certainly wasn't some grand statement meant to offend
The problem is more that cumming is the goal for many guys.
I may won't last long when penetrating, but we still have fun for hours before and after it.
And I think that's a point about how to approach sex, not about sexual identity
Because of this : https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Female_copulatory_vocalizations
Thank you for posting this. I knew a woman's orgasm had a purpose in insemination but vocalizations indicating the best time for male ejaculation makes sense.
And about a billion times more sense than some of the nonsense posted in this thread.
On the other hand, recent studies have indicated that most copulatory vocalizations in women do not accompany their own orgasm, but rather their partner's ejaculation. The study showed that the man typically finds the woman's vocalization arousing and highly exciting, and that the woman herself is aware of this.
Vocalizations can be used intentionally by women in order to boost the self-esteem of their partner and to cause quicker ejaculation.
Ha, name a woman that hasn't done this to hurry along bad sex.
Try it sometime, my wife loves it and I grew to not be shy about it. There is something about letting out moans and noises that makes sex so much better.
I started screaming. It's basically a heavy metal concert in our room now.
You guys are all over thinking this. A lot. I'm pretty sure it's because basically all porn has a very loud female role and a near silent male role. There's been lots of studies on how porn affects people's actual sex lives. Vocalization is a part of that. Girls watch it in formative years, learn "This must be what my partner will find hot," just like tons of other emulated behavior from other media. Boys do the same.
Same reason dogs don't bark when they chase the mail truck.
my gf loves it when i make noise
As a trans woman, I noticed it started happening fully unintentionally after HRT. It's anecdotal, but makes me feel like there's definitely a chemical component because it actually surprised me.
I wonder how much of that is placebo effect.
My honest guess is all of it
Before I transitioned I was pretty much silent. Hormones affected that some, but I have to say I got way more vocal post-op. First time I got it in the vagina I was quite loud.
I think some of it is just what genitals people are rocking.
Porn has done it for dozens of years at this point, and it has just become not only an expectation, but just a thing that gets picked up.
I don't know how I know the answer to this, and I'll try to keep it brief and simplify something more complex than I can go into given I'm typing on my phone, but here goes:
This goes wayyyyyyy back into our past as human beings. Women largely vocalize more than men during sex as a way to signal to other males in the area that sex is happening and that they should join in. It's encouragement for the male, but it goes deeper (heh) than that - the human penis is quite large as far as body to dick ratio for animals goes, and there are two reasons for that; the head is designed to 'scoop' competing males' semen out with each thrust in preparation for replacing it with the dick-haver's own, while the longer shaft allows deeper penetration in order to scoop as much as possible.
So basically, when a woman moans loudly, it's signifying she's ready to go, and that the strongest male in a group will be the one to eventually impregnate her. It's literally a survival of the fittest mechanism.
Now obviously that isn't the reason for it these days, as we're all aware that our intelligence as a species makes sex a vastly more complex thing than it is for other animals at this point in our evolutionary path, but that's what researchers believe is the origin of sexy female noises.
EDIT: This is a legitimate hypothesis. Not everything is some modern social construct with no link to any evolutionary advantages and survival of the fittest. I'm sorry if this challenges your narrow worldview.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Female_copulatory_vocalizations
I hate this hypothesis and I highly doubt any women were involved with developing it.
I’d like to unscrew my eyeballs, put them in a hard bristle boot brush to remove the outer layer and then put them back in my sockets so I can be free of this comment. We moan because it feels good. If you want to try and go further perhaps because we haven’t been conditioned as much to suppress emotion. As to the shape of the head….if anything the shape would serve as a plug for the current male’s own sperm to prevent it from coming out. C’mom
I didn't just make this up, it's a legitimate hypothesis. Someone else posted a wiki link to it (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Female_copulatory_vocalizations)
Not everything is some patriarchal social conditioning conspiracy, dude.
See moaning and panting and the softly whispered "fuuuuucky yes" more as a means of expressing arousal and excitement. My SO is fairly vocal (involuntarily, I love it), but I had to learn it first. It really feels good tho', I suppose it depends on what your partner wants/likes?
I grunt and moan to signify my effort and enjoyment.