dammit i ate the onion, because that sounds real
this post was submitted on 03 Dec 2023
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I was like "OMG! They finally understand how I feel!"
The best satire borrows heavily from reality.
The best satire is reality.
I’d like to think there was a time that wasn’t true.
Fuck. I did too.
my solution is to make rice and veggies
It is very real but journalism hasn't quite evolved to state facts yet. They're still at the gaslighting stage of making us think our unhappiness is the result of our own poor choices and shortcomings, and that everyone else is happy except for us.
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Yeah Onion hasn't been doing much satire recently. Just real news
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Oh God, that is so painfully true. Now if you'll excuse me, I'll be longingly caressing this rope without actually tying it into a noose.
I'll sit next to you and load then unload my pistol.
Hold my beer while I jump off that bridge and then... oh I break the combo.
“You hear this nonsense such as, ‘people don’t want to work anymore,’” said Schweitzer while puffing on his pipe. “Can you blame them? When boomers were young, they could pay for college flipping burgers, buy a house on a single salary, and retire with a pension. Now people can’t afford to even rent. The average American is being crushed under a debt burden with no prospect of relief. Our political system is breaking down, and we’re headed toward climate disaster. It’s only natural for people to be walking around secretly wishing a piano would fall on them.”
Wtf I thought this was supposed to be a satire article.
That's not all that unrealistic lol
Ever notice that the only people who relentlessly seek out immortality are the absurdly wealthy who already live a life of the entire world being at their beck and call for every whim?
The rest of us get tired of licking the shoe leather and are all like, "It's my time? Phew! Finally!"
i mean i wouldn't mind immortality provided i straight up can't be killed, i'd like to see the bougies defend against that
The satirical part is that a major news org would say this out loud.
It me
Same.
me too, thanks.
Also
I don't want others to suffer a trauma like the ones I carry. Guess I'll go get Taco Bell instead of {insert dark thoughts}
Going through cancer treatment the last couple of years, doctors often asked me if I was feeling suicidal, I never was, but this would have been a correct answer most days.
you it?
We be
Comrade
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We've reached some kind of milestone where satire and reality have converged to a single line. Also, the cover photo of a bunch of smiling professionals is the real chef's kiss.
@ZeroCool Is that an Onion-like website?
Yes, The Hard Times is a satire website that usually focuses on music. They also operate Hard-Drive.net which focuses on videogame and tech satire.
Too real.
It's fucked up how perfect this satire is. I honestly immediately believed it without question, which is a terrible sign.
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