He didn’t cheat on her, but that doesn’t mean she was obligated to be ok with what he did. If he wanted to have a chance with her ever again, sleeping with someone else while they were on a break (or even immediately after breaking up) was a stupid thing to do. Part of Ross’ problem was he was so focused on the technicality that they weren’t actively together instead of the reality that it still was obviously going to hurt her.
this post was submitted on 03 Aug 2023
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Yeah that's why it made good TV, they're both right. Not cheating but still hurt her feelings which is a good enough reason to break up with him.
Literally the first thing I would do when I got dumped is go fuck someone else.
It's absurd to break up with someone and expect them to not go live their life.
That’s perfectly fair, but don’t expect the original person to want to get back together with you then. It’s not about whether it was ok for him to have sex with that girl, it’s whether or not Rachel was justified to not want to get back together because of it. Which she was. And he knew it, or he wouldn’t have immediately tried to hide it.
I guess if you’re viewing your relationship as a form of restriction.
No I view being dumped as something that makes me sad and getting laid as a shot in the arm that cures the sads for a little bit so I don't become a mopey fuck
i think it is more like emotional distance?
its creepy to intentionally not be with someone else after a breakup because there is some weird lingering feelings. like get over it move on
They were on a break
Nice try, Ross!
You got me, Rachel!
She said “maybe we should take a break” and he left without saying anything to her. He didn’t verbally agree to it, and even if he did, hooking up with someone in the immediate wake of that is at a minimum disrespectful as hell.
He said something to the extent of.. ok lets take a break and get something then she clarified. from us.
Not defending Ross or anything, the guy was absolutely the worst. Just wanted to clarify the scene. Top of my head of the Ross things that make him the worst:
This whole thing was ON their anniversary!
Getting on with a student
Making out with Charlie after she and Joey broke up
Not letting Rachel go for her dream job in Paris
The problem is he didn’t stick around to talk out what “a break from us” means. He stormed out without saying anything when she said that. And it’s not really his fault, he says he assumed that meant a full breakup which isn’t unreasonable. But most people know that in reality when you’re in a big fight with your SO, sometimes you say things that you don’t mean the next day so you probably shouldn’t be making huge decisions that will affect the future of your relationship based on them. Assuming you want the relationship to continue which he obviously did.
He’s not a bad person for doing what he did, he’s just an idiot for doing what he did when he wanted to still be with her. Even if it was a full breakup, that doesn’t mean he couldn’t win her back. Sleeping with someone else makes that much harder though.
Ross and Rachel were absolutely on a break at the time, and Ross was fairly certain Rachel was spending the night with someone else. He was absolutely in the clear for sleeping with that girl.
Which makes it frustrating that they focused on it being a break, because everything else Ross did was completely in the wrong.
He was overbearing and paranoid, regularly invading Rachel's life to assert his dominance in front of guys who do not care. Rachel was regularly humiliated by him, and you can't blame her from needing time to recover.
After the incident, Ross made bold lies straight to Rachel's face, and spent the entire episode trying to keep it a secret. Finding out about the incident from Gunther was the icing on the cake of humiliation.
Then later, Ross told yet another lie to Rachel in pursuit of what he saw as easy sex with his dream girl, then claimed that he was justified for it because she was too wordy. And he only admitted his lie when he felt his ego was threatened.
Ross ruined the relationship because sleeping with the copy girl was the only thing he wasn't in the wrong for.
I think "We were on a break!!" was just easier to portray and memorable. But yeah, doesn't matter if they were on a break, what He did was still not good and Rachel were reasonable to not take him back.
First time on lemmy I have blocked someone for a post. Thanks.
Relationship life is not a court case and bringing up words used mean very little. Sometime's even tones supercede the meaning of the word. Empathy rules, and if the other party has no empathy for your understanding of what actually was communicated it can all be very hard. In this situation I would bet not only Rachel but most of us viewers, have little empathy for Ross's understanding of the now status quo of their relationship.
TLDR: Ross acting dumb to not be in the wrong. 😜