this post was submitted on 02 Mar 2024
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Programmer Humor

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[–] [email protected] 76 points 1 year ago (5 children)

Turned into a skeleton in 10 minutes

[–] [email protected] 56 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (3 children)

Yeah, also each query request was a human beeing. Such an unrealistic comic.

[–] [email protected] 46 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

🏳️‍⚧️

[–] [email protected] 37 points 1 year ago

Not to mention, mysql is a database management framework, while in the comic it's a food stand! Absurd!

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Not queries, programs. They have pid

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

Shoot, you are ~~right~~ wrong. They are processes.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Ah FUCK- mind said process, fingers typed program. But most of the time they are equivalent

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

The thing is, at first I actually, responded with "you are right". See, humans make errors. Also, this isn't a competence competition. (At least I hope so.)

[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 year ago (1 children)

If a query does not take 30 min does it even exist?

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 year ago (1 children)

The waiting is how you know its giving you correct answers.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago

Exactly lol. If it's instant you know you fucked up

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 year ago

ca. 150'000'000'0000 CPU cycles.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 year ago

Got sigkill-ed. But of course, this doesn't cancel the request

[–] [email protected] 38 points 1 year ago (5 children)

8 JOINS???? ARE YOU TRYING TO DIE

[–] [email protected] 28 points 1 year ago

You guys are only using 8 joins?

[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 year ago

No, they are using an ORM.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 year ago

It’s fine if they’re indexed correctly…

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I worked on an enterprise wide medical record system for seventeen years.

It had 10000 tables in the schema. Our particular setup populated 1500 of them. ( yes I meant tables).

8+plus happened...

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)

So are you using FHIR yet?

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Lol, is funny you ask. I mainly worked on interfaces.

The medical industry makes the banking industry look nimble.

The organization had a couple interfaces using the protocol when I left. But adoption is slow, just about everyone still uses HL7. But it has been a couple years.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

I asked because I've been working in the same field for 10 years, interfaces as well. You can count our FHIR interfaces on one hand, the rest is DICOM, HL7 or proprietary.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago

What it feels like to smoke 8 joins

[–] [email protected] 35 points 1 year ago (1 children)

If your views aren't nested joins on views on views on views with group bys with wildcard text matching are you even trying to enter hell?

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Exactly. I once worked with a junior developer who had constructed a simple reusable view with test coverage. I don't think they were even trying to make a pact with the nether realm. I'm just not sure what SQL is coming to these days.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

Absolute amateur

[–] [email protected] 23 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Should have used Postgres...

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

True true...

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

Say it with me everyone, INDICES

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

Quick roll back the transaction

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

MongoDB, on the other hand, is web scale.