FauxPseudo

The pipes that make water leave our house have completely failed. I thought I had one problem. Turns out we have four problems. This means no cooking that requires dishes.

No idea how this will all be fixed or if I will be totally screwed. It's just a hair beyond my skill level but it's way beyond my physical or financial ability. There is only so long I can spend in a crawl space after breaking my back a few years ago. But a friend gave us some money for dinner. A local Mexican place has a new appetizer. Deep fried pork belly with guacamole. I'd make this at home if I could.

Thanks for listening to me vent. Enjoy your dinner no matter what it is.

It's been a few busy days of not cooking due to a full septic tank. Even today I was on my roof with a hose stuck in a vent pipe after filling in a very large hole with a shovel and my bad back.

Which means I didn't have time to make the quick pickled cabbage topping I wanted for this taco made from both beef and black beans. I was going to try this mix as a way to stretch ground beef. I found the results to be totally worth repeating.

One pound of browned ground beef to one can of drained/rinsed black beans added after the 5 tsp* of homemade taco seasoning is cooked into the browned ground beef.

After two days of corporate food this tasted amazing.

• Or just one tablespoon if you are from "mayo is spicy land."

Lemon cream pasta with a salad using some of the pickled redbud flowers I made.

Buried in the pasta is the one asparagus sprig I found in my garden today. Three years after starting from seeds and I finally got one asparagus. Hopefully I'll get more. Next time I'll spring for rhizones instead of seed.

The lettuce was a barter for goose eggs so it was free. Croutons were leftovers looking for a purpose. Redbuds practically free.

So not including the salad this was $2.52 a person.

Potatoes au graten and the half a rotisserie chicken leftover from the rolled tacos the other day.

Cost: $4.00 a person.

I had to remove a large limb from my pecan tree. Which meant I had some fodder for new kitchen spoons.

Tuna melts on sourdough with avocado, pepperoncini and brined redbud flour buds. Side of both Nacho and Cool Ranch Doritos because reasons. The same reasons that two high people told me this was the best sandwich ever.

Cost: $4.14 per person.

Breakfast is a fried goose egg sandwich on sourdough. Instead of salt I used some brined redbud flowers which are kinda like a caper substitute.

Cost per person is probably 80¢ because the goose egg and redbud came from my yard so all I'm really paying for is bread, butter, and for the redbud some salt and vinegar.

One of the things I deeply miss about living in California is unlimited access to rolled taquitos. They don't exist in my area of The South even at the best of Mexican places.

I got up today on a mission and took half a rotisserie chicken and some corn tortillas and wrapped everything up and put them in the chest freezer to be ready for dinner time deep frying. I wanted this to be as close to the real thing as possible so I made way too much guacamole and got some cotija cheese in advance for this. The cheese isn't perfect. The proper cheese has chili paste coating the rind. But this will do.

A variation on shakshuka. More cumin and chili powder, black beans, cotija cheese, avocado.

Granola is pecan and craisins. Definitely make it at home instead of buying it.

Cost of the granola is $9.01 total or 81¢ per 11 ounces instead of 2.69 for Walmart brand granola.