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Men who are Sensitive AND Expressive, how do you cope? (lemmy.world)

submitted 3 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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I'm definitely a sensitive man. Like most sensitive men, I definitely find it challenging in the "yeah, you gotta eat 50 lb of bacon, pump iron 7x a day, never smile, and always take on a challenge" world of masculinity. I mean, we've definitely come a long way over the last decade making emotions something men can accept, but we got a long way to go.

Most articles I read about sensitive men are mostly about hiding it, how we're not supposed, to, and then when we do we'll feel better, blah blah blah. But I'm already expressive. I find it challenging, from both men and women.

From men, I don't feel like a man (I don't mean in the sexual sense...just from a psychological sense). In men's groups I get so tired of talking about work and (maybe) hobbies I just wanna run out of the room screaming. It's hard to find any other men who are okay talking about their feelings. When I do (I'm not afraid to), I find no one is able to relate.

From women, I think they often want to see me as a stereotypical stoic man. So when I do express myself, I'm seen as "not manly," which can be a turnoff, whether for romance or friendship.

So how do other sensitive men cope with expressing their feelings?

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[–] [email protected] 13 points 3 months ago (1 children)

transcend gender. be a human first. labels are for jars.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 months ago (2 children)

Cool idea but human beings crave identity. And gender is an important way to express identity. I think that might be one of the reasons why some people feel so threatened by the existence of non-cis gendered people. Refusing to conform to preconceived notions of identity-by-gender challenges their sense-making processes, inducing anxiety.

Plus, our entire human race is reliant on the attraction between the sexes. Gender isn't easily extricable from that. A manly man will always have an easier time finding a woman.

I like the spirit of human first but I fear it might not be as simple as that.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 months ago

if you want to find a partner who likes you the way you are, though, having a comfortable gender identity is an important step

[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 months ago

i agree that society constructed gender roles are convenient and comfortable for the intellectually lazy. my point is that its unnecessary and causes much suffering. the 8+ billion humans will still find a way to make children, no matter which bathrooms you force people to use.