Casual Conversation

3363 readers

311 users here now

Share a story, ask a question, or start a conversation about (almost) anything you desire. Maybe you'll make some friends in the process.

RULES

Be respectful: no harassment, hate speech, bigotry, and/or trolling.
Encourage conversation in your OP. This means including heavily implicative subject matter when you can and also engaging in your thread when possible.
Avoid controversial topics (e.g. politics or societal debates).
Stay calm: Don’t post angry or to vent or complain. We are a place where everyone can forget about their everyday or not so everyday worries for a moment. Venting, complaining, or posting from a place of anger or resentment doesn't fit the atmosphere we try to foster at all. Feel free to post those on [email protected]
Keep it clean and SFW
No solicitation such as ads, promotional content, spam, surveys etc.

Casual conversation communities:

Related discussion-focused communities

founded 2 years ago

MODERATORS

[email protected]

Men who are Sensitive AND Expressive, how do you cope? (lemmy.world)

submitted 3 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

26 comments fedilink hide all child comments

I'm definitely a sensitive man. Like most sensitive men, I definitely find it challenging in the "yeah, you gotta eat 50 lb of bacon, pump iron 7x a day, never smile, and always take on a challenge" world of masculinity. I mean, we've definitely come a long way over the last decade making emotions something men can accept, but we got a long way to go.

Most articles I read about sensitive men are mostly about hiding it, how we're not supposed, to, and then when we do we'll feel better, blah blah blah. But I'm already expressive. I find it challenging, from both men and women.

From men, I don't feel like a man (I don't mean in the sexual sense...just from a psychological sense). In men's groups I get so tired of talking about work and (maybe) hobbies I just wanna run out of the room screaming. It's hard to find any other men who are okay talking about their feelings. When I do (I'm not afraid to), I find no one is able to relate.

From women, I think they often want to see me as a stereotypical stoic man. So when I do express myself, I'm seen as "not manly," which can be a turnoff, whether for romance or friendship.

So how do other sensitive men cope with expressing their feelings?

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 months ago (2 children)

Cool idea but human beings crave identity. And gender is an important way to express identity. I think that might be one of the reasons why some people feel so threatened by the existence of non-cis gendered people. Refusing to conform to preconceived notions of identity-by-gender challenges their sense-making processes, inducing anxiety.

Plus, our entire human race is reliant on the attraction between the sexes. Gender isn't easily extricable from that. A manly man will always have an easier time finding a woman.

I like the spirit of human first but I fear it might not be as simple as that.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 months ago

if you want to find a partner who likes you the way you are, though, having a comfortable gender identity is an important step

[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 months ago

i agree that society constructed gender roles are convenient and comfortable for the intellectually lazy. my point is that its unnecessary and causes much suffering. the 8+ billion humans will still find a way to make children, no matter which bathrooms you force people to use.