this post was submitted on 30 May 2024
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edit: I have changed my title to match the new NYTimes headline. Sorry about the all caps, I guess they are really excited about this lol

Also shoutout to @[email protected] who shared a gift article link in the comments. I hope you don't mind but I kinda stole it and updated the post

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[–] [email protected] 165 points 1 year ago (4 children)
[–] [email protected] 123 points 1 year ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 44 points 1 year ago (11 children)

God damn it, don't take my job away from me!

[–] [email protected] 34 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Today we're all flying high, Squid

[–] [email protected] 28 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I was and then I got out-Rikered!

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[–] [email protected] 86 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Translation: republicans rigged 2016 election to usurp power, stole 3 Supreme Court seats, passed illegitimate tax cuts for ultra rich, and committed violent insurrection when public legitimately tried to remove them from power.

Every. Single. Republican. Is. Guilty. By. Association.

[–] [email protected] 26 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

That’s completely incorrect.

Trump was convicted of 34 counts of falsifying business records. These were the charges in the NY “hush money” trial only.

Here’s a handy tracker for the other cases from the Associated Press.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 1 year ago (3 children)

So what happens now?

Fines? Community service? Jail? Nothing?

[–] [email protected] 48 points 1 year ago (15 children)

He'll get 34 slaps on the wrist then become our president for a term that doesn't end until he dies

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[–] [email protected] 20 points 1 year ago

Won't know till July when sentencing happens.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 1 year ago

Most likely, fines that he'll pay for with cultist money.

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[–] [email protected] 149 points 1 year ago (1 children)

This is only the tip of the iceberg. Trump is a fucking convicted felon and a serial rapist. Fuck him. Now on to sentencing.

[–] [email protected] 87 points 1 year ago (4 children)

There may have been some light treason also

[–] [email protected] 24 points 1 year ago (8 children)

Who among us has never committed a tiny bit of light treason though…

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[–] [email protected] 103 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

Guilty on the first count.

Edit: Counts 2~34 guilty.

We got a total sweep.

[–] [email protected] 43 points 1 year ago

🧹🧹🧹

[–] [email protected] 77 points 1 year ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 24 points 1 year ago (4 children)

Did you make this mockup or has the current state of American legal reporting devolved into a Sportsnet style scoreboard?

[–] [email protected] 23 points 1 year ago

American legal reporting devolved into a Sportsnet style scoreboard?

How else are we supposed to understand it? Go away, I'm batin.

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[–] [email protected] 71 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

This quick must be guilty. I’ll allow myself to hope. Edit:

lock him the fuck up

[–] [email protected] 20 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Lock ~~her~~ him up!

We even have signs that will work for this occasion with a slight modification.

[–] [email protected] 63 points 1 year ago (1 children)

One way or the other, it will be historic. This is much faster than I expected the Jury to deliberate.

[–] [email protected] 58 points 1 year ago (6 children)

Former President and convicted felon, Donald J Trump

[–] [email protected] 24 points 1 year ago (1 children)

In other news, some little-known actor committed multiple felonies. Probably will end up on the front of grocery store tabloids. ;)

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[–] [email protected] 45 points 1 year ago (8 children)

First time in history a candidate running for president can’t legally vote for themselves?

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[–] [email protected] 39 points 1 year ago (4 children)

Despite @[email protected] doing it first, this is my domain.

Don't do a Riker on my turf, damn it.

[–] [email protected] 25 points 1 year ago (6 children)

Hey now, on this occasion there's enough Riker to go around for all of us.

[–] [email protected] 28 points 1 year ago (1 children)
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[–] [email protected] 26 points 1 year ago (1 children)

So TIL my parents will be voting for a convicted felon in November 🤦‍♀️

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[–] [email protected] 26 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (9 children)

Do you guys think this matters to his voters/supporters?

[–] [email protected] 21 points 1 year ago (4 children)

This is going to give a lot of GOP Senators a fig leaf.

If someone puts a motion in Congress to make it illegal for him to run, a lot of them will vote for it.

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[–] [email protected] 20 points 1 year ago (2 children)

It'll probably be good for his campaign somehow

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[–] [email protected] 23 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

The GOP could have gotten off this wild ride at so many points in the last 8 years, yet here we are. A republican presidential nominee who has been convicted of felonies.

Edit: And with Biden’s poll numbers they could have run literally anybody else and won.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Today is a very good day.

Now on the downside, convicted felons are still legally allowed to run for office. Not being able to vote for himself is delicious schadenfreude, but this doesn't suddenly save democracy. However, I would expect Biden's administration will push this hard, and I don't think undecided voters want a felon in the White House.

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[–] [email protected] 18 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Holy fucking shit, I need to eat my shoe

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