Man, I must have missed that day in Sunday School when they taught that Jesus cheated on his wife with a sex worker and then used money from his carpentry business to have his lawyer cover it up so he wouldn't lose credit when running for the office of Roman prefect.
this post was submitted on 10 Jun 2024
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It’s only in John.
I have no idea why, but my first thought was it's only in "the John". As in it was in some ancient bathroom graffiti. Just scrawled hastily on the bathroom walls, explaining all about the son of God's legal woes.
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Don't forget the time Jesus told his disciples that when you're rich, women let you grab them by the pussy.
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Is she really Christian? Because she violated at least three commandments in one sentence.
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I'm surprised she didn't extend that to, "and both were persecuted by Jews!"
Sigh, one of these days we’ll place the blame where it really belongs. On the Italians. Who told people to blame the Jews for Jesus? That’s right the Roman Catholic Church.
It’s not like we’re going to start coming to agreement that religious leaders are prone to corruption regardless of what religion it is, and that this is especially true in tumultuous times and places like Roman Judea in the early Julian Dynasty.
jesus, also a billionaire, oh wait
Jesus hated money lenders. Trump relies on them.
~~money lenders~~ money lauderers
That's the one time in the new testament (that I can recall) where Jesus got pissed, started whipping people.
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Trump hates them too, when he has to return the money.
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I came into this thread thinking, "huh, I thought MTG liked Trump". It literally didn't occur to me that she wasn't making fun of him. How can you possibly call Trump a convicted felon, compare him to the perfect son of God, and still think you're a serious person? It's insane
I was just wondering how a card game had an opinion at all 😅
Haha yeah, I automatically tried to write her name as MtG first time around
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The same person who also said the Jews have secret space lasers. 🤔
The same ones they used to kill Christ.
OK, just crucify Trump, and look what happens (or not) on the third day...
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Just like Trump, Jesus was famous for stiffing carpenters back in the day.
Modern Day Donald Trump: Doesn't pay contractors
Historical Sexy Gay Jesus: Stiffs other carpenters
You're falling victim to a translation error.
When I worked as operations manager in a contracting company we had an installer named Jesus. He was a young guy, illegal immigrant trying to support his family back home.
I was gonna tell a funny anecdote about how he smoked a joint on lunch break and ended up installing a door backwards and trapped an old lady in her house, but then I remembered that my boss would hire illegals like him because he could get away with paying them far below minimum wage and fire them for any passing mood he had, he delighted in punishing struggling people and didn't view them as human. I, the only white guy working with them and I started there counting screws and doing all the same shit work they did, learned a lot of really funny or vulgar spanish, I got to know them all as people and made friends and I wonder even nearly 20 years later what happened to some of them.
Jesus was deported when my boss called a "tip" into immigration services because he thought Jesus was lazy. Jesus was 19, it was not only his first job, it was his first job in a foreign country surrounded by people he doesn't know, living alone, no education or legal protection. He needed help, not cruelty.
So yeah, when people say "Jesus was treated unfairly" I always nod in agreement.
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Of all the possible similarities to biblical Jesus that one could pick, that is definitely one.
For Trump? That's pretty much the only one.
To be fair, Trump also hangs out with prostitutes. The difference there is how the prostitutes were treated.
He does have a lot in common with Paul though. Asshole, telling people what to do while not giving a shit what Jesus said, hating homosexuals, and telling people how pious he is. Oh, and Republicans also care more about what he has to say than what Jesus said.
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I'm pretty sure Stormy Daniels did a lot of things with Trump, but washing his feet with her tears was not one of the things she did when his wife was pregnant.
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Am I the only one who sees her name and thinks "why is magic the gathering saying political stuff?"
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You know, comparing people to God is basically blasphemy already. Not that I trust people who genuinely support Trump to understand anything about their own religion - or anything really.
The fruit of the spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self control. Turning things around, I don't think Jesus is just like Trump.
So we are listening to magic: the gathering now?
Someone else called her Empty-G, which is more fitting.
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Broken record here, but isn't he basically the false prophet antichrist we were warned about at this point?
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"He's just like me frfr"
Jesus apparently
Ah, but the difference..
Yehoshua "Jesus" ( Iosa, actually, according to a Roman friend I had ) benJoseph was:
- falsely-convicted
- by legalists
- whom benJoseph had consistently shown to be hypocrites, &
- they were using legalism to convict him, to get even with him.
Trump, however, admitted in court that "Mother Theresa couldn't beat these charges" or something like that:
Trump was convicted:
- fair & square
- honestly,
- of actual-crimes
- he himself committed.
"Just like Jesus" my arse.
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Also not to mention that as a Roman province, Judea couldn't execute anyone without the Romans' permission. So they sent Jesus to the Romans and the Romans were like "WTF this guy is innocent" but the Jews were like "Yeah but we still want to kill him". Then the Romans were like "Okay, how about I give you the choice of freeing either this innocent man or this convicted murderer" and the Jews were like "Free the murderer and kill him". Then the Romans were like "Fine, we're literally washing our hands of whatever happens but you do you boo" and the Jews were like "Yay, now all the threats to our religious dogma are gone!" and nothing bad happened to them ever again.
Yep, that's exactly the same as Trump going before a court, having evidence presented against him, having a defense presented for him, and having a jury of his peers decide on the evidence. The parallels are obvious 🙄
Nailed it.
Its really sad to see someone so absolutely full of shit that they have to unload it on the public
Will we one day get treated to the sight of MTG going down on a life-sized Trump sex doll on the stage in front of a thousand MAGats, all speaking in tongues?
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