this post was submitted on 12 Jul 2024
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Lemmy Shitpost

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all 36 comments
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[–] lugal@sopuli.xyz 158 points 9 months ago (3 children)

"The hotel was perfect but the weather was bad." 3/5

[–] motor_spirit@lemmy.world 42 points 9 months ago (1 children)

that's the essence of many reviews unfortunately ha

[–] Transporter_Room_3@startrek.website 31 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Sometimes for gits and shiggles, I'll check the one star reviews for things I know are going to trip inexperienced people up.

Like... It's basically the "substituted flour with powdered eggplant and milk with tobacco sauce, 1/10 tasted horrible but I followed the recipe exactly" meme

Especially anything with DIY properties. "doesn't work, connected to the battery and it immediately blew up" when it's clear from the picture they hooked a 48v battery into a 12v speed controller. Or cut some wires they weren't supposed to. Or reversed polarity of an important component. Or....

And rather than admit they fucked it up, they give bad reviews.

I particularly like when the listing is clearly for something that requires assembly, and bad reviews complain it came "in pieces". READ, YOU DENSE MOTHERFUCKERS

And if you see a bunch of bad grammar, and inconsistent specs in a listing.... Maybe don't put too much faith in the $5 item that would cost $100 if you bought it from a licensed and certified source with quality assurance...

[–] hungryphrog@lemmy.blahaj.zone 4 points 9 months ago (1 children)

What meme? I can't find anything because it just keeps showing me eggplant recipes.

[–] Kusimulkku@lemm.ee 12 points 9 months ago

The meme is people replacing ingredients with others and complaining when it doesn't work

https://www.reddit.com/r/ididnthaveeggs/

[–] dudinax@programming.dev 16 points 9 months ago (1 children)

It's probably great, but UPS lost it. 1/5. Would be 0/5 if I could give 0.

[–] saltesc@lemmy.world 5 points 9 months ago

Just arrived today and looks great but haven't had a chance to try it yet. 5/5

[–] psmgx@lemmy.world 71 points 9 months ago (1 children)
[–] Iheartcheese@lemmy.world 67 points 9 months ago (1 children)

I can give myself a handjob. You want that fifth star you better get to suckin.

[–] Slovene@feddit.nl 1 points 9 months ago

Yes. Here's a lovely song explaining it: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=6HQgKGOFHFE

[–] rockhstrongo@lemmy.world 52 points 9 months ago

One star off because the doctor is the one who hit them with a Mercedes

[–] the_beber@lemm.ee 46 points 9 months ago (2 children)

There‘s an intrinsic bias to never (or rarely) give the maximum or minimum on a rating scale. source

[–] Infynis@midwest.social 19 points 9 months ago

I don't bother writing a review unless it's a one or five star. Maybe a particularly offensive two star

[–] flames5123@lemmy.world 3 points 9 months ago

But really! In Japan, most people do 3 stars for great service. Most good businesses have 2.5-3.5 stars.

[–] BigDanishGuy@sh.itjust.works 46 points 9 months ago

One way to get five star ratings would be climbing a tall building, enabling GOD MODE, and then blasting anything that moves with RPGs... At least that's how I remember GTA San Andreas

[–] zourn@lemmy.world 45 points 9 months ago

That 5th star was for making his life worth saving.

[–] MissJinx@lemmy.world 31 points 9 months ago

Imagine seen the light, feeling the peace and the BAM... an asshole saved your life. And he thinks he deserves 5 stars. The audacity

[–] Pilferjinx@lemmy.world 18 points 9 months ago

A nihilist probably wouldn't leave a review, or would. Honestly, it doesn't matter.

[–] Etterra@lemmy.world 16 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Hi, nihilist here, and I would have probably left instructions to give him five stars if he was cool about it. I mean I'm not going to recommend a jerk even if I'm already dead.

[–] NegativeInf@lemmy.world 10 points 9 months ago

Here Lies Etterra,

His doctor was a jerk. Do not recommend.

[–] myusernameis@lemmy.ca 16 points 9 months ago

I worked in craft beer marketing for a while and the running joke about untapped was something like...

"Best lager I've ever had... I don't like lagers. 1 star."

[–] marito@lemmy.world 13 points 9 months ago (1 children)

I have no idea why my Uber rating (passenger) is 4.7.

[–] TurboHarbinger@feddit.cl 14 points 9 months ago

2/5 passenger didn't listen to me talk about

[–] profdc9@lemmy.world 8 points 9 months ago

Maybe it was just coincidence that the patient survived when Dr. Lewis intervened. Correlation is not causation, after all.

[–] Zachariah@lemmy.world 7 points 9 months ago

Did he check his whole island for weeds?

[–] Annoyed_Crabby@monyet.cc 7 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Have to do it again but this time do it under an hour.

[–] fl42v@lemmy.ml 1 points 9 months ago

Beating good old amputation speedrun with 300% mortality?