this post was submitted on 13 Nov 2024
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Greentext

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[โ€“] [email protected] 178 points 5 months ago (2 children)

In middle school I had a friend who would get nosebleeds fairly often. I don't remember exactly why nor how, but we somehow got into an argument with this really religious kid who was a little shit. So like the next day he felt a nosebleed coming and ran over to the kid and said "Hail Satan" and exhaled hard to make a ton of blood come out. Well the kid fainted and my friend got detention for the day

[โ€“] [email protected] 46 points 5 months ago

That's amazing ๐Ÿคฃ

[โ€“] [email protected] 20 points 5 months ago (1 children)
[โ€“] [email protected] 8 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Could they have stolen the story? Yes. But they could have equally had a similar experience, it's not that implausible. I've known people that have nose bleeds like that, it's not some incredibly rare condition, and saying hail Satan is the kind of thing tons of edgy kids/teens would do.

Things can happen more than once.

[โ€“] [email protected] 3 points 5 months ago

I did something similar to my mother. Except I came downstairs with blood all over my face and hands (I hadn't found a tissue yet) and then tried acting like a zombie. I thought it was hilarious. She was shocked but got over it pretty quickly.

[โ€“] [email protected] 78 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Ah, the fear of consequences after a good prank at school. I drew a dick on a whiteboard once, also in seventh grade.

[โ€“] [email protected] 57 points 5 months ago (3 children)

That's going to go on your Permanent Record!!

[โ€“] [email protected] 20 points 5 months ago

Ah, you got the stink lines and everything

[โ€“] [email protected] 3 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

Never gonna live it down now @Sanctus

[โ€“] [email protected] 3 points 5 months ago

Actually it will go into the dry erase record

[โ€“] [email protected] 45 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

*Student shows signs of severe depression*

*gets suspended from school*

Even if it was a joke, this is some "Tell me you're from the US without telling me you're from the US" type shit

[โ€“] [email protected] 34 points 5 months ago (3 children)

Would be funnier if he accidentally made himself quadriplegic and was just lying there in terror as everyone else was laughing and it took a good while before someone realised.

[โ€“] [email protected] 38 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Idk if we agree on what 'funnier' means.

[โ€“] [email protected] 3 points 5 months ago

Well, it's fake either way, might as well chuckle at some black humor.

[โ€“] [email protected] 8 points 5 months ago (1 children)

And he was still suspended

[โ€“] [email protected] 3 points 5 months ago

Well yeah, how else would he get around?

[โ€“] [email protected] 7 points 5 months ago

Reminds me of the British comedian who had a heart attack on stage and died, while the audience laughed, thinking it was all just an act. Cant remember his name, but at least he died doing what he loved.

[โ€“] [email protected] 11 points 5 months ago

sounds like fiction. it's just missing "he thought to himself,"

[โ€“] [email protected] 11 points 5 months ago (1 children)

"runs out the door"

why? why would people run out the door at someone commiting suicide?

[โ€“] [email protected] 14 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Maybe to go find someone with medical training who can potentially help?

[โ€“] [email protected] 2 points 5 months ago

At least one person would stay

[โ€“] [email protected] 4 points 5 months ago

God that i hilariozs, i tried to to a similar thing in the final exam but my crack juices weren't flowing sadly

[โ€“] [email protected] 2 points 5 months ago

Wh.. what if you really can't take it anymore?