this post was submitted on 11 Jan 2025
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[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 85 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (7 children)

I really don't know how they don't understand the very simple concept that you can't force someone into a contract.

But it was nice of him to not charge a fee to keep people updated, I guess.

[–] LuckingFurker@lemmy.blahaj.zone 64 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] Codilingus@sh.itjust.works 23 points 2 months ago (1 children)

When you understand something so well, that you now overstand it, to the point it's taking up too much brain real estate.

[–] themeatbridge@lemmy.world 7 points 2 months ago

If you have not watched Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt, you'll enjoy it.

[–] Rhynoplaz@lemmy.world 18 points 2 months ago (1 children)

But the gubment forced us into a contract of indentured servitude under the social security gold standard emancipation proclamation​!

[–] MelodiousFunk@slrpnk.net 10 points 2 months ago

I was forced into free agent indentured servitude by virtue of being born without capital.

[–] RedditWanderer@lemmy.world 5 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

It's all based on the articles of confederation or wtv where it was a bit more free and wild, people had these kinds of rules and contracts between them. Nothing like this of course.

Basically they think an old government piece of paper that has wording they prefer outweighs the government piece of paper they don't. (The one they don't have to pay for, but still get alll the benefits).

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[–] salvaria@lemmy.blahaj.zone 70 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Imagine if the tow truck guy was ALSO a sov cit and he took the contract and did the sovcit magic and signed his name in red ink at a 45 degree angle on this contract lol. Do you think the original guy would be like "hmm OK yup, you got me" or would he double-down?

[–] mojofrododojo@lemmy.world 40 points 2 months ago (2 children)
[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 36 points 2 months ago (1 children)

It's legal language. You wouldn't overstand it.

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[–] MonkeMischief@lemmy.today 9 points 2 months ago (2 children)

It simply cannot be understated.

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[–] ilovededyoupiggy@sh.itjust.works 31 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Won't work, he got the protection spell wrong, there is no "Unitided States."

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[–] Phil_in_here@lemmy.ca 29 points 2 months ago (1 children)

"To the Police or whom it may concern,

By arresting or detaining me you hereby agree to the contract by which I can do anything I want. Any instance of your intent to prevent or punish me is heretofore subject to a $58,000,000,000 (fifty eight billion dollar) penalty."

Right fellas, it's ~~crime~~ freedom time

[–] themeatbridge@lemmy.world 27 points 2 months ago
[–] Fades@lemmy.world 27 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (2 children)

Thank god the moron wrote out the number values (.00 cents btw!!!) and then immediately after wrote out the same information but in English. This isn’t a fucking check you dumbfuck, who exactly is getting any value out of doing that?

Maybe you shouldn’t hand write a goddamn “contract” if you’re soooo worried someone might come fudge the numbers you wrote down! Shit, at that point just write out the numbers in English and skip the numerical version altogether. Literally wasting their own time.

[–] __Lost__@lemmy.dbzer0.com 5 points 2 months ago

I imagine they think it makes the hand written contact look more official. Is it hand written to be like calligraphy? Or do they just not have a printer. Actually I think every physical writing I've seen from sovcits has been hand written. Is that another of their things?

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[–] tacosanonymous@lemm.ee 26 points 2 months ago

How the fuck do you spell "United" incorrectly? The Constitution and the 14th Amendment? Where do they think the Amendments are?

I do love "overstand" though.

[–] AnUnusualRelic@lemmy.world 17 points 2 months ago

What if they pay him with one of those coupons they like so much?

[–] MossyFeathers@pawb.social 14 points 2 months ago

I'm now gonna use the word, "overstand" when someone over explains something to the point where they lose me again.

[–] Worx 13 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Anyone who makes me read a dumb contract owes me $100,000.00 one hundred thousand Untited States dollars. Since I'm feeling generous, I'll take Australian or Canadian dollars too

[–] MonkeMischief@lemmy.today 6 points 2 months ago

If that's how it worked all we'd need to do is run one of those installers that forces you to scroll all the way down their EULA.

[–] morgan_423@lemmy.world 13 points 2 months ago

Making magical gestures ..."By your performance, we mutually agree to the binding terms of this contract!"

Hogwarts instructor: No, you must abbreviate that, it's much too lengthy, and you'll be counterspelled. Try this instead: "Contractus Bindero!"

[–] apfelwoiSchoppen@lemmy.world 12 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I overstand. I overstand completely.

[–] Kraiden@kbin.earth 4 points 2 months ago

I take "overstand" to be an antonym of "understand" in which case: Yes, I overstand as well.

[–] CPMSP@midwest.social 11 points 2 months ago (1 children)

This is the equivalent of spam -- "NOW IN REAL LIFE! ™"

Did they illegally park while selling dick pills?

[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 6 points 2 months ago

I don't know, but there's a very good chance they illegally parked while also avoiding child support payments.

[–] DrSteveBrule@mander.xyz 10 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Why don't I see sovcits demanding fees of the range of 100s of millions of dollars? If they are going to try and insert these beliefs into reality then why not try to become billionaires along the way?

[–] BonesOfTheMoon@lemmy.world 8 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Sometimes they do, here's a snippet from a child protection case in Alberta.

[–] DrSteveBrule@mander.xyz 6 points 2 months ago

Quadrillion dollars!? That's what I'm talking about!

[–] Worx 7 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

They might be insane, but at least they're not greedy

Edit: to be fair, they're probably not insane. Just living in a very unjust society, seeing the rich do whatever they want and get away with it, and thinking those same rules apply

[–] DrSteveBrule@mander.xyz 4 points 2 months ago

That's actually a nice way to explain their behavior. It's easy to just laugh at them, but reality is kinda fucked up a lot of the times too.

[–] some_guy@lemmy.sdf.org 8 points 2 months ago

Dude’s gonna be a millionaire.

[–] SkunkWorkz@lemmy.world 7 points 2 months ago (1 children)

And who is going to enforce it?

[–] Subverb@lemmy.world 8 points 2 months ago

Well, depending on the violation, various governm... OH, I see what you did there!

[–] Limonene@lemmy.world 6 points 2 months ago (2 children)

I wonder if part of the magic is being hand-written. Would it not work as well if it was typed? Does it matter what color ink or what type of paper you use? Or am I totally on the wrong track, and this person just prefers writing over typing?

Either way, I find it incredibly tragic. Seems like their car was involuntarily towed, which is already a bad situation, and this is going to make things worse. At best, it will cause delays.

[–] humorlessrepost@lemmy.world 9 points 2 months ago

The angled writing is almost certainly part of the magic, since they think is is for signatures.

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[–] some_guy@lemmy.sdf.org 4 points 2 months ago

The third person in this montage is a sovcit who wants $500 to reveal his name. What a deal!

The Dumbest Criminal Ever

"But I already said I'm not driving or operating."

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