No Stupid Questions

My brother didn't vote and in person around family, he is not a Trump supporter but he is conservative. Publicly via social media, he's never once said a bad thing about Trump and has never hesitated to strawman shit on Dems. During the run up to the election, he made some comments about Kamala after the first debate, and it was all just horseshit takes. I typed a dozen messages and deleted them because what I was going to send would have been one of those things you don't come back from. Instead I've completely cut him out of my life and I'm on active avoidance. The only saving grace for him, is that I know he didn't vote for Trump, which means almost nothing, but he didn't actually do the worst thing. Because of that, in 4 years, I'm going to assess the damage of this Presidency and make a choice on if I will ever even consider seeing him again or if he's dead to me. I will never forgive him and we will never have a relationship, but there's a chance that we might both be able to go to familial gatherings, like funerals in the future.

For me, this isn't a very difficult decision. We've never really been super close since he's quite a bit older, but we were good. I'm fully prepared to miss significant events to avoid him. I'm not sure what your relationship with your father is like, but one thing you have to consider is how it's going to affect anything else family related, like family reunions, funerals, weddings, holidays, etc. Make sure that you think of all of the effects this may have before jumping the gun and doing something you can't undo. You can certainly try and salvage the relationship and have a serious heart to heart where you lay it all out, and if that's not enough, then I suppose that the decision is easier. Alternatively, if you're ready to be done, you have the option of sending him something with a reason, telling him what's up and bye, or ghosting him. If you ghost him, that will make any chances of rebuilding a future relationship a lot harder.

Best of luck.

You should limit interactions for your own mental health. This will be unpopular among the more strident hardliners, and I cannot presume to know your situation. Some, if not most of Trump supporters are woefully misinformed. Cutting them off can make them more defensive and further entrenched.

As time progresses, the cognitive dissonance they are experiencing will become overwhelming and they will need a place to land. We cannot confront this with tough love. Eventually some of them will see Trump for what he is, and only with patience and compassion can we bring them over. The time to take sides will come, and we will need everyone who is willing to help.

Do whatever you can live with. That said, you have other options besides all or nothing. You can tell him that it's taxing to be around him and ask for specific behavioral changes you'd like to see to make things more tolerable. Whether or not he agrees to them is up to him, but you're at least trying for a workable relationship.

I emphasize behavioral change because he can't just flip a switch on his beliefs. No one can. Our beliefs are a conclusion based a number of factors including our experiences, the information we are exposed to, our emotions, etc. He couldn't switch his off and on any more than you could.

If you really want to affect his beliefs he will have to feel like you hear and understand them first. Be curious without expressing judgement. If he feels heard he might be more open to reciprocating that feeling and hear you out.

But you're not obligated to do that. If you can't take it then be honest with yourself and take care of you. Just don't get stuck in black and white thinking

How do I approach the topic with him and tell him it's either me or these beliefs

Do you need to change your father's mind? Can't you just spend time together and not talk about politics?

Is that selfish of me

Yes, your requiring people in your family to agree with you or you will leave them.

Haven’t spoken to my brother in years because of that, and we’re not even Americans or living in America.

I’ve cut off everyone who ever expressed a positive opinion of him.

You went on an anti-Trump social media to ask for advice whether you should permanently cut ties with a member of your family, who doesn't bother you, doesn't cause issues to you, just has a different political opinion to you / supports the other "tribe". Remember the story of Soviet kids who gave up their parents to the authorities, because they hid food for them when it was illegal? That's you right now.

My parents are nowhere near as deep in the rabbit hole, but I’m essentially dark on communications with them at this point. Once they have convinced me that they are fighting against the current state of things, I’ll re-engage. Currently they are unaware of this fact, but it won’t be too much longer until they realize that I have no time or desire to interact with them anymore. They will have to choose and I’m at peace with either outcome at this point.

It sounds like your life will be immeasurably improved by cutting him off. But it's such an intense, personal decision that I'm not sure any internet stranger could honestly say one way or the other.

I love guns, especially when they are used by people like mario’s bro…. Allegedly.

But no you're not mot wrong, these billionaire turd cutter tongue punchers are intolerable. They are too dumb to understand they support blatant fascism and that conservative and neo liberal center right conservative policies over the last 5 decades have ruined this country while they praise an administration tripling down on the same policies that brought us here and the empty space between their ears calls a corporate owned controlled opposition party “the radical left” because democrats tepidly support trans and human rights in general (at a bare minimum) meanwhile they ignore any actual true leftist economic policies and always support capitalist imperial hegemony. We live in fucking bizarro world and i cant take these fucks anymore.

There's no benefit to cutting contact as a matter of principle. It won't impede Trump even a little and it probably won't change your dad's political views either. Is he willing to avoid talking to you about politics? Do you enjoy his company when he isn't talking about politics? If the answers to these questions are "yes" then I see no good reason to hurt him and yourself by cutting contact.

I think that every two people in my family have serious disagreements about some issue, but the world wouldn't become a better place if we all argued and then stopped talking to each other.

It's about you, you're not doing it to make a point. You're doing it to protect your mental health. Maybe you can approach it from that angle with your father. And if he carries on the way he did then I guess he got a fair warning.

I think it's best to straght ghost them, but I haven't personal had to do that to family-- only family friends. They won't change their views for you, it's really just for your own mental health and a clean cut is so much more satisfying.

It's always probably they'll change on their own eventually and want to reconcile and if that happens, there's always a way to find someone if one tries hard enough. And if he doesn't change? People like that deserve to die alone.

Just cos u don't agree with someone for some of their ideas that's no reason to cut them off. Tell him u don't agree explain why and tell him u don't want to discuss it with him and if he forces u to u will leave.

U can fundamentally disagree with someone and still have a respectful relationship.

Think about it from his perspective u are associating/supporting people he believe are just as bad as u believe elon/trump is. It sounds like he is still respectful of you for who you are.

third is basically going on strike from your relatives