this post was submitted on 25 Mar 2025
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The Onion and other satire w/ layers

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For posting satire from The Onion and other similar sources.

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Claim: The Department of Government Efficiency (DOGE) issued the following statement on X: “A recent audit of the United States Military uncovered a team of spearmen who have been stationed somewhere in the arctic for over 1,000 years. This dramatic oversight is just one of many examples of unqualified, inactive workers taking advantage of our government’s negligence, costing taxpayers millions in gold.”

Rating: Mixed

A review of historical military records does much to explain the presence of these arctic-based spearmen, who are, as DOGE claims, still on the US military payroll.

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[–] [email protected] 20 points 2 months ago

I hate that this headline is plausible.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 months ago

So we can afford to pay maintenance for a thousand years but we can't afford to give them guns? We are not a real country. I won't even be mad when Rome conquers us, I'll be relieved.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 months ago

That's it. I'm boycotting We Love The President Day this year

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 months ago

I have had to check community name far more often lately.