this post was submitted on 28 Mar 2025
969 points (100.0% liked)

Lemmy Shitpost

31759 readers
4571 users here now

Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


Rules:

1. Be Respectful


Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

...


2. No Illegal Content


Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.

That means:

-No promoting violence/threats against any individuals

-No CSA content or Revenge Porn

-No sharing private/personal information (Doxxing)

...


3. No Spam


Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.

-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.

-Do not spam posts with intent to harass, annoy, bully, advertise, scam or harm this community.

-No posting Scams/Advertisements/Phishing Links/IP Grabbers

-No Bots, Bots will be banned from the community.

...


4. No Porn/ExplicitContent


-Do not post explicit content. Lemmy.World is not the instance for NSFW content.

-Do not post Gore or Shock Content.

...


5. No Enciting Harassment,Brigading, Doxxing or Witch Hunts


-Do not Brigade other Communities

-No calls to action against other communities/users within Lemmy or outside of Lemmy.

-No Witch Hunts against users/communities.

-No content that harasses members within or outside of the community.

...


6. NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.


-Content that is NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.

-Content that might be distressing should be kept behind NSFW tags.

...

If you see content that is a breach of the rules, please flag and report the comment and a moderator will take action where they can.


Also check out:

Partnered Communities:

1.Memes

2.Lemmy Review

3.Mildly Infuriating

4.Lemmy Be Wholesome

5.No Stupid Questions

6.You Should Know

7.Comedy Heaven

8.Credible Defense

9.Ten Forward

10.LinuxMemes (Linux themed memes)


Reach out to

All communities included on the sidebar are to be made in compliance with the instance rules. Striker

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
 
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] [email protected] 148 points 2 months ago (6 children)

"Pull forward after fueling or get shot"?

[–] [email protected] 91 points 2 months ago (16 children)

Station owner sounds like a fake tough guy who cries about DEI.

[–] [email protected] 33 points 2 months ago

So a standard Trump supporter?

[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

Sure, he's like that on the surface, but I bet his station is willing to accept huge, suggestively shaped loads, if you know what I mean.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I'm just imagining some trucker who didn't see the sign walking into the store to buy some snacks

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 months ago (2 children)

It isn't the owner going to be doing the shooting. It's the guy stuck waiting behind an empty truck. That's the joke.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

If you say so, and obviously that trucker couldn't shoot the guy walking out with snacks.

That's impossible.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 months ago

Maybe, but not based on the sign. That's a standard trucker joke about waiting for pumps.

load more comments (12 replies)
[–] [email protected] 25 points 2 months ago

"Sorry, my cock is too big for that"

[–] [email protected] 22 points 2 months ago (5 children)

It's a joke about truckers that fuel and then fuck around while the guy behind them is fuming with impatience. LOL, I've been that guy.

"OH FFS MOVE!"

Besides, truckers are on more of a schedule than the rest of us tooling around.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 months ago

Thank you! This makes the most sense. I was wondering what was wrong with "please pull forward when done fueling" without threatening violence. A common annoyance plus and inside joke makes a lot more sense.

load more comments (4 replies)
[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 months ago

Guessing Texas

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 months ago

Probably flu shot, maybe Covid booster?

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 81 points 2 months ago (1 children)

No, they said discrete. Each mammoth dildo is individually wrapped.

[–] [email protected] 20 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

Ah, -screte/-screet. Motherfucker.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 2 months ago
[–] [email protected] 67 points 2 months ago (2 children)

That's just the latest Bezos rocket under wraps. The final version will achieve perfect penis proportions for getting deep into space.

[–] [email protected] 23 points 2 months ago

assuming it doesn’t just blow its load all over the Caribbean

[–] [email protected] 15 points 2 months ago (2 children)

BREAKING: “Dr.Evil is suing Jeff Bezos for IP infringement. Dr.Evil gives statement on the matter. - “What’s next freaking lasers on freaking sharks!?”” More at 11pm.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Jeff Bezos is just Dr. Evil without the education.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 months ago

Dr. Evil demands compensation of

[–] [email protected] 31 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Is it legal to shot someone after you post a sign?

[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 months ago

yep, double tap recommended at a gas station

[–] [email protected] 28 points 2 months ago

That's contraband in the state of Texas.

[–] [email protected] 20 points 2 months ago (2 children)

LPT.

If you're using a toy that big, the neighbors and the police already know what's going on

Responding for a friend

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] [email protected] 16 points 2 months ago

"It's a twenty-foot cock and balls man. It don't look like nothing else."

[–] [email protected] 14 points 2 months ago (1 children)

It's the dildo of consequence heading for D.C. I hope it gets there soon.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 months ago

The dildo of consequence ALWAYS arrives un-lubed.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 2 months ago (2 children)

What is it actually? Is it some price of industrial equipment that just happens to look like a Johnson? Or is it part of a parade float or something?

[–] [email protected] 22 points 2 months ago (2 children)

What is that thing in the sky? It looks like a huge...

JOHNSON!

Yes sir?

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Get on the horn to British Intelligence and let them know about this

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

Maybe a planter? Something like this which folds out to this.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I appreciate the effort but i kinda hope that the satanic temple or someone is up to some epic trolling instead

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 months ago

I wonder if this is Nevada, where you see them transporting military equipment on trucks all the time. Like missiles and bombs. Wondering if someone got creative with the covering.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I hope your mom is enjoying her new dildo.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 months ago

Paging Dr. Evil.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 months ago

Just FYI if your package is “discrete” your delivery person is “discretely” laughing at you

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 months ago

Ma! MA!! Ma, yer mail's here!

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 months ago

Seems like my package has been delayed in transit!

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago

🎶 Was the dark of the moon on the sixth of June

In a Kenworth pullin' dong 🎶

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Stolen from the Celina 52 truck stop facebook page.

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments
view more: next ›