this post was submitted on 28 Mar 2025
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How dare you allow us to make this incredibly stupid mistake?!

top 42 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] [email protected] 124 points 3 days ago (2 children)

had a feeling this would happen when they said “blame biden” in the chat.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 3 days ago

Press F to blame Biden

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 days ago

It was Snowball! He snuck into our group chat under the cover of night and sabotaged our great ~~windmill~~ war plans!

[–] [email protected] 103 points 3 days ago (1 children)

I honestly thought this was The Onion.

[–] [email protected] 34 points 3 days ago (1 children)

We're at the point where it's necessary to check the source for everything, because it's a 50/50 chance that any of this shit is satire.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 3 days ago

It was 50/50 about a year ago--feels much closer to 90/10 now if you ask me

[–] [email protected] 86 points 3 days ago (1 children)

That didn't happen.

And if it did, it wasn't that bad.

And if it was, that's not a big deal.

And if it is, that's not my fault.<-- You are here

And if it was, I didn't mean it.

And if I did, you deserved it

[–] [email protected] 79 points 3 days ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 47 points 3 days ago

It's literally one of the Signal texts to blame Biden.

[–] [email protected] 64 points 3 days ago

Traffic (2000)

You know, when they forced Khruschev out, he sat down and wrote two letters to his successor. He said - “When you get yourself into a situation you can’t get out of, open the first letter, and you’ll be safe. When you get yourself into another situation you can’t get out of, open the second letter”. Well, soon enough, this guy found himself into a tight place, so he opened the first letter. Which said - “Blame everything on me”. So he blames the old man, it worked like a charm. He got himself into a second situation he couldn’t get out of, he opened the second letter. It said - “Sit down, and write two letters”.

From a movie and not real, but basically the playbook they're using.

[–] [email protected] 59 points 3 days ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 9 points 3 days ago
[–] [email protected] 29 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

It is the 41st Millennium.

For more than a hundred centuries Donald Trump, the Emperor of America, has sat immobile on the Golden Throne of Washington. He is the master of the US by the will of the nutjobs and master of a million tariffs by the might of his moronic followers. He is a rotting carcass writhing invisibly with power from the Dark Age of Generative AI. He is the MAGA Lord of the vast Imperium of America for whom a thousand souls are sacrificed every day so that he may never truly die.

Yet even in his deathless state, everything is still Joe Biden's fault.

[–] [email protected] 38 points 3 days ago (1 children)

.... in the tenth decade of the MAGA Empire, a new political catastrophe occurs .... as in previous occasions, Biden was again blamed for these problems.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 3 days ago

In the year six thousand and eighty eight since the flood the Free People wondered if they’d lived suitably MAGA to be redeemed from eternity in the domain of Biden, Lord of Evil.

[–] [email protected] 25 points 3 days ago

Did Biden explicitly prohibit drinking bleach and eating rusty nails? Because if not, go right ahead you incompetent fucking morons, bon appetit!

[–] [email protected] 31 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Ha ha ha. Biden he does everything!

[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 days ago

Biden even managed to set up the stock market to only crash when Trump says the word tariff.

[–] [email protected] 31 points 3 days ago (3 children)

Holy fuck. Because for some fucking reason, the goddamned director of the fucking central intelligence agency doesn’t fucking know that just because you’re able doesn’t mean you should.

Never fucking mind also apparently just not fucking knowing about the JWICS that’s designed for this exact motherfucking purpose.

[–] [email protected] 20 points 3 days ago

The "feature" they are looking for is that it deletes itself, despite that also being illegal. They don't want records of anything to last because when you are doing illegal stuff, records come back to bite you eventually.

They are using exactly the right app for the features they want.

The real app they are supposed to be using archives it like everything is legally supposed to be handled. For the express purpose of accountability and eventual transparency.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (2 children)

Never fucking mind also apparently just not fucking knowing about the JWICS that’s designed for this exact motherfucking purpose.

They see that as waste.

"Why do we need to spend all this money on custom coms gear, software, and standards when an off-the-shelf mobile phone bought from a rando retailer with unknown supply chain (likely manufactured in an adversarial country) and using a commercial app not vetted for sensitive government use is cheaper?"

[–] [email protected] 8 points 3 days ago

The supply chain comment makes me wonder if they might need new pagers soon.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 days ago

I can't remember the last time a reporter accidentally got on a jwics message chain.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (1 children)

Holy fuck. Because for some fucking reason, the goddamned director of the fucking central intelligence agency doesn’t fucking know that just because you’re able doesn’t mean you should.

Never fucking mind also apparently just not fucking knowing about the JWICS that’s designed for this exact motherfucking purpose.

'Fuck' count: 7

(Sorry, couldn't resist. 😋 😇 I get your anger though; agree.)

~This~ ~comment~ ~is~ ~licensed~ ~under~ ~CC~ ~BY-NC-SA~ ~4.0~

[–] [email protected] 12 points 3 days ago

The F-bombs have been successfully deployed. Congratulations 👊🗯️💣

[–] [email protected] 13 points 3 days ago (1 children)

So not dei or Obama’s fault?

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 days ago

nono, it's still those things too

[–] [email protected] 17 points 3 days ago (1 children)

“We were not allowed to have any messaging apps on our work phones,” said one former top national security official on the condition of anonymity. “And under no circumstances were unclassified messaging apps allowed to be used for transmission of classified material. This is misdirection at its worst.”

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 days ago

of course they'll end up with charges.

Oh, this is the twilight zone, so no they won't.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 3 days ago

If that leak wasn't on purpose these asshats are sub forest gump stupid. They stupid and they does.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 3 days ago

It was actually discussed years ago on Clinton's email server. I remember.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 3 days ago

Signal wasn't considered a problem until that idiot couldn't be bothered to read what was on his phone screen

[–] [email protected] 9 points 3 days ago

Biden strikes again.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Why does Kash always look mid-shart?

[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 days ago

Look at ol' Lumpy Farts Kash

[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 days ago

Fuckin rights, Biden is also the cause of climate change, and my itchy asshole. Definitely nothing to do with forgetting to wipe.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 days ago

What a fucking idiot! And she is heading CIA?

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 days ago

Rent free in Mar-a-Lago

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 days ago

3 terms ago? Why would he even say such a thing...

[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 days ago

See, Biden stole the election right under our noses, even he didn’t know!

[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 days ago

Bwahahahaha