this post was submitted on 31 Mar 2025
535 points (100.0% liked)

Funny

9472 readers
2454 users here now

General rules:

Exceptions may be made at the discretion of the mods.

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
 
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] [email protected] 35 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Give me a bowl of ranch and that's a

[–] [email protected] 34 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Oh no I didn't finish my post

[–] [email protected] 32 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Too busy eating saltines, I take it?

[–] [email protected] 26 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I attribute this one to drugs as a matter of fact

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago

You ever eat a sleeve of Saltines... on weed?

[–] [email protected] 29 points 1 month ago

I'm in this picture and I don't like it

[–] [email protected] 25 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Sleeve of saltines, some slices of cheese, and a side of grapes is actually so refreshing

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 month ago

Add a couple of salami slices and call it charcuterie. Good stuff!

[–] [email protected] 23 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Recently discovered that wheat is evil and forbidden (fuck you, shitty immune system), and now I wish I could eat a sleeve of saltines . . .

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 month ago

Yeah. I have celiac and would very much regret eating a sleeve of saltines.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I used to eat these for breakfast. The world is cruel.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago

It's not even that they are appetizing, it's just the principle of not being able to have them, lol

[–] [email protected] 20 points 1 month ago

PRO TIP: hummus

(non-Sabra)

[–] [email protected] 18 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I've done it quite a few times. No regrets...

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I keep them in the house specifically because they're a cheap snack isn't like horribly destructive.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago

Isn't horribly destructive

Unless you eat them like my dad: By making little sandwiches of butter between two crackers.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 month ago (2 children)

What is this, some sort of cracker?

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (4 children)

Was also confused, yes, apparently those are just crackers:

https://m.media-amazon.com/images/I/91SeqLM71vL._SL1500_.jpg

Just the wrapper makes it look unappetizing, I thought it was lard or something equally disgusting.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 month ago (1 children)

They are bland and flavorless but I cannot stop eating them, send help

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago (1 children)

They are perfect for an upset stomach. Super easy on your stomach.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Unless you have celiac disease.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago

Well yes, it goes without saying that if you have a specific autoimmune disease to something, it will be bad, regardless of their general tolerability

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 month ago

Yes but those examples are, in fact, somewhat more upscale than what you'd normally get.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago

Thank you. My first thought was lard as well :D

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago

Bad Request

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 month ago

saltines sleeve

first one sleeve of saltines, then more saltines

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 month ago

A sleeve of Ritz for me.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 month ago (2 children)

The amount of crumbs, wow.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Not if you put the entire thing in your mouth in one go

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago

I can't fit an entire sleeve in my mouth, be reasonable...

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago

That’s what she said.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago
[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 month ago (2 children)

I replaced potato chips with these for budget reasons.

They're actually better. You can eat them with cheese or salami or peanut butter.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)
[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago

With the cheese and salami add a tiny dot of Beaver Creek Hot Honey mustard.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

...sleeve of saltines and a block of grated cheddar were my go-to lunch as a kid; no regrets...

(these days i'm more into triscuits and cheddar slices, the pricey aged cheeses rather than big orange store-brand bricks)

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 month ago (3 children)

Do people not set aside food to microwave when they’re beat? Frozen rice and beans both microwave exceedingly well.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 month ago

You gotta, like, operate the microwave. Ugh. So much work. 😉

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 month ago (1 children)

See, I consider microwave food to be unhealthy and overall bad for you. Which is why I'd rather skip the meal and opt for multiple seconds of junk food to satisfy my hunger.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago

What's unhealthy about microwaves? Make some extra food when you cook, and reheat when you don't have time. All the microwave is doing is heating it up.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago (3 children)

No because microwaving is the worst way to cook food and ain’t no way in hell I’m eating one of those shitty prepackaged meals.

Instead I just eat food that takes minimal effort to cook.

Pre-marinade some meat. Next day throw it on a sheet pan with some vegetables. 30 minutes later it’s done. Easy.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

minimal effort

Pre-marinade

Does not compute

Also pre?-marinade.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago (1 children)

microwaving is the worst way to cook food

Why? It's a magical little box that turns food from cold and unappetizing to warm and inviting in under a minute. Make a bit extra when you have energy, and reheat when you don't.

Microwaves are probably the closest thing we're getting to Star Trek replicators.

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 month ago

It's definitely cheap calories if you need 'm

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Saltines with sardines, mmmm.

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago

Mmmmm sodium flavor

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago

I do this reguraly. I have nausea from my anxiety and I force myself to eat these when I feel like shit. Great cracker, especially the whole wheat ones.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago

Put it in tea

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago

ADHDb and gluten allergies in the 80s pre diagnoses were a helluva motherfucker

load more comments
view more: next ›