this post was submitted on 02 Apr 2025
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Lemmy Shitpost

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[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I got onboard the bidet train during the Covid lockdown. Simple to add on at my apartment. It was my #1 request when I moved to my GF's house. We replaced the whole toilet with the upgrades.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Yup. Same. Feels way better. It's just like taking a shower after every dump.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 day ago

Yay, bidet!

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Bottle of water. Wash with hand.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 14 hours ago

Punch a hole in the neck of a small water bottle using a (hot) needle or a cork screw. Fill the bottle with water, close the lit and spray your ass by holding the bottle upside down and squeezing it. I used this 1$ Ghetto-Bidet for years!

[–] [email protected] 21 points 1 day ago (1 children)

"Hey, if some caked-up mud pie got on your face, would you just wipe it off with a dry piece of tissue and call it a day? No! You'd wash it. So why is your butthole any different?" - Detective Allen Gamble, 'The Other Guys'

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 day ago (2 children)

My butthole is very different from my face and I hope that is true for everyone else as well

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Lip skin is the same as butthole skin

Be kind

Bidet and wipe

[–] [email protected] 2 points 11 hours ago

By butthole is nowhere near my taste buds and designed to pump out fecal matter. Other than my lips. Bidets are cool but I if there isn't one that's not a problem.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Different enough that you don't mind having shit smeared all around it?

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 day ago

Different enough that I'm fine with thoroughly wiping my ass. That's hardly "having shit smeared all around". I'm regularly under the shower and that's good enough for me.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Reading this on a toilet without a bidet :(

Please send your prayers

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 day ago

Thought and prayers 🙏

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

I like the bidet's we have at home, but I don't get the ones that are separate from the toilet. Saw this type when visiting San Juan, PR once. Their plumbing system can't handle toilet paper very well, so it's all bidets with a stack of washed towels.

Not only do they take up extra space in the bathroom, but are you supposed to waddle over to this thing with a dingleberry hanging out? I don't get why you'd want that.

The one argument I've heard in their favor is from people with vaginas who don't like the idea of the built-in sprayer catching bits of poop that'll get in their cootch.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 day ago (6 children)

So, maybe I'm missing something here, but bidets don't seem all that great? Everyone on the internet is always proclaiming life changing experiences with these things. However, when I recently used them they don't seem to do very much. My butthole is still poopy and when I wipe to dry my ass the toilet paper tears.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 day ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 day ago

Clearly needs more hydro pressure

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 day ago

I was like you a few years ago.

The crappy ones feel like that.

Then I sat on a fancy one that sang me a lullaby and gave me positive encouragement as I pooped. My god, my entire butthole is so fresh.

I now understand.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Some are better than others in both power and nozzle angle/placement. Sometimes you have to shimmy to get the angle just right if the power is low. It should result in a wipe in which no fecal matter remains, only wetness, if executed properly.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 day ago

Exactly. There's a learning curve but once you've got it, you dread wipe only bathrooms. Installed a bidet on one of my toilets six months ago and now that's the only toilet anybody in the house poops in unless it's already occupied.

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[–] [email protected] 32 points 1 day ago (6 children)
[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 day ago (3 children)

If I got shit on my arm I would wash it with soap, there's no soap in a bidet so I don't get this argument

[–] [email protected] 2 points 13 hours ago

By that logic, why wash it off at all? Why do anything?

[–] [email protected] 2 points 20 hours ago

But with a bidet, you do have an option with soap since it can be rinsed (which I believe is the norm in my poor ass country, be it bidet or good ol' dipper). I don't normally wipe soap with a tissue.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 day ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

That's true but if the argument is "deal with shit on your butt the same way you would deal with shit anywhere else on the body" then the logical conclusion would be to take a shower after every poo

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

The argument is "The common way of dealing with it is bad". Doesn't have to be perfect to be better.

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