this post was submitted on 26 Apr 2025
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Microblog Memes

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[–] [email protected] 61 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

Omg I'm post surgery and I had heard of farts traveling forward but now I've experienced it. It is a weird feeling I don't know if I'll ever get used to it

Edit to add bonus experience: I wear a lot of dresses. Before when I'd fart it would funnel up be escape at the back of my neck. Now sometimes when it travels forward it funnels up and escapes right in my face

[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 month ago

It is a weird feeling I don't know if I'll ever get used to it

After 33 years I can comfortably tell you, you won't get used to it. Welcome!

[–] [email protected] 42 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I farted out my dick and ass while burping once

[–] [email protected] 19 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago (1 children)

One time when I was a kid in school I had several sneezes in a row and on the last 3 I also farted

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 month ago (1 children)

"i once sneezed multiple times"
the fuck, do you not sneeze at least 5 times at minimum? it's not rare for me to go 7 times before the nose decides it's done

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 month ago

depends on what kinds of things are in the air I guess

[–] [email protected] 36 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Spoken by someone who will never be able to shit and ejaculate simultaneously

[–] [email protected] 19 points 1 month ago (1 children)

That’s not a gender limitation.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Spoken by someone with only one liver

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 month ago

OK, Prometheus.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago (1 children)

You’ve somehow figured out a way to disappoint my eyes. I didn’t know my eyes had feeling until I read this comment. Thanks, I guess in a weird way.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 month ago

and your comment made me feer my eyes too! just not in as bad of a way

[–] [email protected] 35 points 1 month ago (3 children)

Definitely had farts that bubbled up through the sack. Parting testis on a hot day like Moses and the red sea

[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

In Elementary school, sitting in those hard seats/desks — a gentle fart would slip out (aka, calculated) and I would have to shift my weight to let the air bubbles escape from underneath my balls/taint

It was like a little slipstream of air bubbles that got trapped; and I could shift the stream around my taint with an asscheeks-thighs-balls combo. Kinda just able to roll back and forth on a little bed of air

I was an Airbender and never even realized

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 month ago

This right here is one of life's quiet treasures

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 month ago

Yes, this one right here, Satan

[–] [email protected] 35 points 1 month ago

how do i unread?

[–] [email protected] 33 points 1 month ago (1 children)

not only did i just find out that girls DO fart, but also that they do it TWICE!!!

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 month ago

Second grade. New girl sits next to me her first day, leans in and whispers "I'm not like other girls. You haven't met one like me." My thoughts: "I'm the white kid in the black neighborhood, you're not going to be the first black girl I know." Nope.... "I've never farted. I don't do that."

[–] [email protected] 28 points 1 month ago

I have once warmed my balls.

[–] [email protected] 20 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Guys, cross your legs and fart in a pool?

[–] [email protected] 18 points 1 month ago

And this, this is how you make a shart 👍💩

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 month ago (1 children)

hahahha that's true. It is weirdly satisfying when they travel forward. But it only happens with silent ones.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (2 children)

Am I the only one that feels very grossed out by it? I truly hate it and then I worry I'll get an infection or something. (I shart more than most adults I think)

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 month ago

oh god no hahaha I never shart because I have IBS and I don't fart outside of the bathroom if Im not 100% sure it's just a fart hahahah

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago

Nah I hate it too.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Everyone’s forgetting the existence of queefs here - which does mean that one has the ability to expel gas from both holes simultaneously. Sounds like starting a lawnmower.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 month ago

I bet if they do it hard enough they can lift off a lil bit.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago

Double pipe classic, 2025 edition

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I'm not upset. Just...this seems so unnecessarily extra. I'm glad they enjoy their fart-queef I guess?

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 month ago

I don't begrudge them for it. If men could double fart we would probably do it proudly and publicly.