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So why are mothers expected to just figure things out on their own? We humans have women living way past fertile age because they were important for children, and suddenly we decided we don't need grandma's help passing along generational knowledge and helping first time mothers. Grandma/Grandpa are supposed to be free and focus on helping the parents so they learn and don't make mistakes because they don't know anything.
And community too. It's so isolated. Makes me sad, and afraid to have children.
Let's be real, the whole "only mom and dad are supposed to FAFO on their own" is an extremely stupid societal expectation. Humans were never meant to live as isolated animals, always in groups
I know right. I don't see why countries promote this kinda individualism and expect people to have children.
This is super tangential, but I knew someone who had a miscarriage which caused a mental health crisis. Or perhaps more accurately, the crisis was caused by severe isolation and implicit stigma around her grief. She told me that after the crisis, she was surrounded by people who had experienced miscarriages too. She was baffled because this sure would have been helpful before the mental breakdown.
People are expected to be so strong that ultimately it just weakens us at the community and the individual level
In the Netherlands, "kraamverzorgenden" come by the house of new parents every day for ~the first week to show you the ropes, and just in general to help with chores and/or entertaining brothers and/or sisters.
In my experience, it's not so much everyone needs to figure it out for themselves. It is filtering through invalid opinions and non-applicable information.
It's the same reason it is so hard being a doctor, "Oh, your baby is crying? Here's a few thousand things it could be, and tomorrow, it will probably be a different reason."
When youβre planning on having kids, or pregnant, your health care providers will recommend you take some parenting classes. Thereβs ways to learn, donβt let your parents not being there for you stop you. You will also likely get recommended to get a doula and midwife.
It's not the same. For starters, none of it is free. Like every other aspect of capitalism, it disproportionately affects the poor. Also, I don't know about you, but I would never be able to trust a stranger as much as my own family. And the family is also missing out. It's so rewarding to raise a baby. I was involved in raising many of my nieces and nephews, and it was so great. Just interacting with kids is a beautiful thing, and a wonderful stress reliever. (I know not everyone likes babies, but many do.) I know that there's some real threat of perverts, but the fact that babies are pretty much isolated from the society is not great for their growth.
Unless they've been using the same sippy cups for decades, I don't think grandma would've helped with this.
While I don't disagree, (personally, I'm not about it but people should be able to plug in to a local community for common advice of mundane things) parents also just...learned things themselves. And sometimes it wasn't correct. I've spoken to my sister-in-law who told me about all the unsolicited advice she's gotten about motherhood. And how much of it was basically superstition, not medical advice.
My brother had a kid and I always feel like some out of touch old man when we talk about it. Once he told me todlers can only have distilled water and I had to stop myself from going "Back in my day, my parents gave me tap water and I turned out fine!"
I thought distilled water was bad for humans to consume as it leeches nutrients from you?
That'd be deionized water, I think...
Nope, distilled water has nothing, no minerals or anything else, including ions. Deionized water is also not the best for consumption.
But distilled is perfectly safe to drink⦠it just tastes weird from the lack of minerals and other stuff.
For once, yes. But exclusively? It'll extract minerals from your body, causing health issues.
What. That can't be true. Maybe there's some advantage, like less fluoride etc. But it's not true they can't drink rap water...
Maybe they live in Flint Michigan π€·ββοΈ
Well, sure, not all tap water is potable for adults either. But giving special water to toddlers sounds like overzealous parenting. I rather give tap water, which is totally safe here, than water from a plastic bottle.
Babies, babies can't have tap water.
~6 months you start with cooled boiled water.
~12 months you can move onto tap water.
That also depends on where you live and on the quality of the tap water. Doctor here now recommend you to use tap water also for formula - without boiling it first.
todlers can only have distilled water
Iβm pretty sure thatβs unhealthy (lack of minerals)
All I've learned from this tread is that people have some very strange beliefs...
Maybe talk to your DR instead of trusting what people say online.
A side-effect of capitalism is the destruction of community. Back in the day when nuclear families weren't the only kind of family possible, first-time parents leart all of this from their in-laws. But now they need to take parenting classes.
I'm from semi-rural India, and it worked that way when I was a kid, but things are starting to change there as well.
first-time parents leart all of this from their in-laws.
And so much of that was dangerous bullshit, it's unbelievable. So many children died because of that.
I read the cat mommy's voice in Princess Caroline's voice.
