this post was submitted on 03 Jul 2025
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[–] [email protected] 12 points 8 hours ago* (last edited 8 hours ago) (1 children)

Why have I seen this joke 500 times in the last 2 weeks in meme format and in shorts format and multiple languages?

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 hour ago (2 children)

we (men) are trying to get back in the coven's good graces so they can help us with the source of all human misery (dick too small)

[–] [email protected] 2 points 19 minutes ago

I thought witches stole semen

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 hour ago

The source of all human misery? Oh man, as if I didn't feel the pressure enough already...

[–] [email protected] 8 points 11 hours ago (1 children)

This was why they didn't burn witches in Africa. /joke

[–] [email protected] 12 points 10 hours ago (2 children)

Some tribes across Africa were known for hunting, killing, and eating women they deemed witches. I couldn't find a source, but I remember reading about it. I think the last recorded successful hunt occured in the 90's.

I did however find this a 2008 article written by the guardian, that talks about the sell and use of albinos in Tanzania. It has absolutely nothing to do with my original point, just thought it was interesting and very fucked up.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 39 minutes ago

You appear to have missed the /joke tag.

Let me explain it to you, African males on average have the largest penis sizes compared to other ethnicities. The humour therein implies witchcraft could be responsible.

This is all clearly irreverent stupidity and need not have disclaimers because even if a person were stupid enough to believe that: it was properly tagged as a joke.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 7 hours ago* (last edited 4 hours ago) (1 children)

A friend of mine is albino and turned down a job offer in South Africa around that time. The thought of even being on the same continent with that going on made him profoundly uncomfortable.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 5 hours ago
[–] [email protected] 74 points 17 hours ago (2 children)

I cast a spell to make them titties just bounce

I speak in a language only wizards can pronounce

Gimme my spells, gimme my book, gimme my cauldron and something to cook

I'm a crazy ass wizard, I ain't going to die, trust me on that, many have tried

[–] [email protected] 6 points 11 hours ago

Chalice with that potion that sets in motion the erosion of reason for commotion like fire in a ball where you dance not slow but real low unlike damage 5d6 to the liver but got an organ grow lotion see so I'm good G.

[–] [email protected] 36 points 17 hours ago (2 children)

Spell activates, but all men in a 10 km radius get instant double D cups.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 11 hours ago* (last edited 11 hours ago) (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 7 points 10 hours ago
[–] [email protected] 4 points 11 hours ago

Yes, but the best we can do is the project catnip ears that are clipped, indicating you are spayed or neutered.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 12 hours ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 18 points 8 hours ago (2 children)

No, this is just fanta-sea 🎶

[–] [email protected] 11 points 8 hours ago (1 children)

Caught in a landslide 🎤🎶

[–] [email protected] 12 points 8 hours ago (2 children)

no escape from big wee-wee

[–] [email protected] 7 points 6 hours ago

Easy cum, easy go

[–] [email protected] 3 points 5 hours ago (1 children)

Damn big wee-wee! They're putting Cum-trails in the sky! To turn everyone gay!

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 hours ago

Cum-trails. Now that is an image straight from the 5g chip in my brain xD

[–] [email protected] 3 points 6 hours ago

Fanta-sea? Sounds like sugar rush.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 11 hours ago* (last edited 11 hours ago) (2 children)

I tracked down the source to simplysilly but am unable to go further due to not having an instagram account.

So far doesn't seem AI. I certify it "likely real."

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 hour ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 hour ago

Oh yeah that's real. Hope this helps!

[–] [email protected] 3 points 7 hours ago

Thanks certification bot. Your seal of approval is likely useful.

[–] [email protected] 88 points 18 hours ago (4 children)

Ancient solutions??? Shit! That would work TODAY!!!

If Kamala Harris had promised bigger penis's to all men if elected, she would be president right now.

Thats how I know all those pills and whatnot aren't worth trying. If ANYTHING worked, it would become a competition. And suddenly it wouldn't even be about if women liked it. Guys would be walking around with 60 inch dicks complaining they aren't big enough, because their neighbor is 90 inches soft.

And the human race would end, because no woman would be able to even take dicks anymore, so they'd just stop having sex.

And guys would STILL keep growing.

But none of that is real. So I know anything selling penis enlargement is a scam without needing to even try.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 6 hours ago (1 children)

Something can be ancient and still valid today.

We're still using many Roman bridges.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 56 minutes ago

forms penis into Roman bridge

[–] [email protected] 30 points 14 hours ago* (last edited 14 hours ago) (2 children)

Honest to god, 4-7 inches is indistinguishable. Everyone’s dick is fine. The vagina only has nerve endings down like 2-3”. It’s only really gay men who are size queens, because it’s different for anal. I’ve had good sex with guys with 3”, I’ve had terrible sex with guys with 8”. The size had zero to do with the quality of the sex, it was more about respect/kink/other shit.

Taking 9”+ hurts. Some people are masochists and like that, but istg dick complexes are ridiculous.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 11 hours ago (2 children)

Man I hate it when I'm around someone with a istg dick complex.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 5 hours ago (1 children)

“I swear to god” - for emphasis because it’s such an obnoxious thing.

If I could afford a phalloplasty, I’d go for 5” and be delighted with it.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 hours ago

Oooohhh. I thought you had somehow completely flubbed typing the word "big", or something like that.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 7 hours ago

myers brigg dick energy

[–] [email protected] 4 points 9 hours ago* (last edited 8 hours ago) (2 children)

Real I (29M) am like 13-14" and chicks at the gym always telling me how big it is (my spotter (31M) and I always wear sweatpants), but my last gf (24F supermodel) said her last bf (51M, $2.3M, 101mm) felt basically the same.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 6 hours ago

Is that a copypasta? It feels like a copypasta

[–] iknowitwheniseeit 2 points 6 hours ago

I don't buy it. I'm slightly bigger than average, not huge, but still bump into the cervix, for example with doggy.

I actually feel sorry for anyone more than 8 or 9 inches, as they must not be able to bury themselves completely very often.

[–] [email protected] 40 points 17 hours ago (1 children)

Twist: There is a reliable method, but it is being suppressed because penis insecurity drives so many behaviors that it is considered a load-bearing pillar of world economics. Penis equity would lead to global collapse.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 13 hours ago

It's being suppressed not by Big Penis, but by Small Penis.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 12 hours ago

Eh. Having a huge dick isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.

Big dicks tend not to get hard and flop around.

[–] [email protected] 37 points 17 hours ago (1 children)

Ok, I'm gonna need an Oglaf version of this.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 hour ago

Best I can do is SMBC

[–] [email protected] 14 points 17 hours ago (1 children)

The same people that looked for "witches" in search of remedies and formulas for things like erectile dysfunction, penis enlargement, love formulas, and all kinds of related stuff were often the same ones shouting "burn the witch" and wanting them dead. Never underestimate human hypocrisy.

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