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I know exactly what this feels like.
I either get to enjoy eating and life in general, but feel like my body isn't big and muscular enough to feel like a confident man or work out all the time but stop eating what makes me happy and in general not enjoy meals.
Media constantly espouses body positivity for women, but men are either ripped or obese. There's no normal, and it makes men feel like they're not good enough.
Body positivity has been ignoring men for way too long.
Embrace dad bod, brother.
Dad bod doesn't necessarily mean overweight with a beer gut. But it does mean that you don't have time to go to the gym to be sculpted for aesthetics. Still plenty of strength and masculinity in it, however.
[off topic?]
I was watching 'The Getaway' with Steve McQueen a few weeks ago. At the time the movie was made, Steve was one of Hollywood's top action heroes. When he took his shirt off I thought how skinny he looked. I know that the Marvel heroes work out for months to get the 'superhero' body, but I still made the comparison.
Another story I heard. A friend of mine wanted to buy his nephew the same Luke Skywalker action figure he'd played with as a child. The original toy looked like a skinny farm boy, and the new one had Luke looking like a body builder.
The x men series is a clear example. Look at Hugh Jackman Wolverine in the original movie compared to the newer ones. In the original he was lean, and in shape but not super muscular or anything. By the Wolverine he's a body building monster
Look at some old movies. Buster Crabbe [Flash Gordon] and Johnny Weissmuller [Tarzan] were both Olympic athletes. Back in the day, they were the peak of manly developement; today they'd be henchmen at best.
Go back to antiquity. Today's action heroes look like henchmen compared to an average statue of Zeus.
That's actually because Jackman was cast very late (it was supposed to be Dougray Scott originally), so he didn't have time to bulk up to superhero physique. X-Men 2's Wolverine is the form Jackman aimed for originally, although he also got even bulkier und more bodybuilder-y later on, like in Days of Future Past.
The lengths they go to today are insane. Like, on top of sort of obsessive body building they're also dehydrating themselves before the bare chest scene for extra definition or some shit. Seems unhealthy all around.
Not to mention the steroids they take while claiming they're natural.
Fellas. Go outside.
Manatomy Podcast comes to mind when reading this.
At first glance the example of Men's Health magazine doesn't seem to have changed over the years which is sad.
Robert Evans recently read some old men’s pulp magazines from like the 50s on Behind the Bastards and it’s really crazy how similar the way they advertise to men then and now are
Was this the professional wrestling episodes?
Actually no the Vince episodes were way too full on their own already
Didn't know about that podcast. Thanks for sharing the link.
I can see that. The strongest people I know don't look like bodybuilders. There is anexpectations of beauty in it.
Yeah world record powerlifters have the longshoreman body type not the bodybuilder body type. But that’s also not a healthy body expectation. Reasonably fit is what the standard body expectations should be for most people.
edit: Yea alright, I get it. That was rude.
Updoot for reflecting :-)
But was it honest?
Doesn't really matter. Rudeness doesn't belong equally everywhere.
It's not rude if it's true though.
That’s patently and blatantly false. Commenting on someone’s receding hairline or large stomach can be absolutely true, but it’s also rude as hell unless specifically prompted.
That's not true actually. Rudeness is a function of social acceptability, which is context dependent. If you told someone you wanted to kill them, that would be very rude in most environments, true or not.
However, if they were physically threatening you with a weapon, that no longer becomes quite so rude, and is more of a reasonable warning to back off, since your life is in danger too.
Potentially stupid question, but what's the difference between muscle dysmorphia and regular body dysmorphia?
Muscle dysmorphia is just a more specific term. Disordered perception of muscle mass, as opposed to more general body size/shape.
Do they even lift, bro?
But seriously these guys need to just pay attention to women if that's what they want the muscles about. Women are not out there just drooling over muscles all the time, they mostly want a generally fit body, maybe abs and stuff. Big muscly bodybuilders are probably going to attract more gays than women.
ATTENTION!! This kid speaks for all women!
You can ignore my advice at your own risk, but I know what I'm talking about with women. If there were any on here they would probably chime in to agree that big muscles are not an important feature for a man to look good.
You have no idea what you're talking about because you're generalizing what another person finds attractive.
You have no idea what I know about and what experiences I've had, because if you were on my level you would recognize the truth that I shared. Sorry about your luck there.
I've seen a meme that included Henry Cavill as the Witcher as someone who is not muscular, so the unrealistic expectation is there.
For example, compare these two cover photos of Hugh Jackman. The one for women is not the one with a shirtless man and rippling muscles
That comment is incredibly high on the Sapho and her Friend scale.
Of course hypermuscular comic book characters and a ripped Hugh Jackman aren't just male power fantasies. They're also men being objectified for men.
How can someone be so oblivious about how blatantly homoerotic comics and some of these 'fitness' magazines are?
Different people have different tastes. I know people both men and women who have learned not to be into the bodybuilder physique because while they think it looks good they don’t like dating people who live the lifestyle it requires. They also complain about how it isn’t as nice to cuddle. Now, gay/bi men are more likely to be into living that lifestyle than straight/bi women.
But from what I’ve heard it’s a body type largely idealized not in a sexual way, but in a self insert way. It looks powerful, and has become a cultural ideal. In part because it’s the optimization of the appearance of strength.
Most people want someone reasonably attractive that can share their lifestyle to a reasonable degree. Beyond that, social skills and improving grooming will improve your chances far more than more time in the gym unless you enjoy it want want a partner who’s into exercise too.
I wonder why a man with muscle dysmorphia doesn’t simply build his muscles? This is a serious question.
It's almost impossible to become as muscular as many of the swolemodels(tm) you see online, without years of intensive exercise and/or drugs/steroids. A lot of it is also in large part genetic, especially stuff like a defined six pack.
And even if by some miracle of genetics, steroids, lack of injury and enough free time, they do somehow manage to become very muscular, it will still not be enough because they will inevitably run into an absolute beast who puts them to shame.
Which is part of the business model. Fitness influencers roided up to the gills, selling insecure young men overpriced creatine adjacent supplements that, although useful, will never allow them to make the gains they want.
Same reasons any person with fat based dysmorphia shouldn’t just lose some weight. Dysmorphia requires an incorrect self perception, so he may actually be reasonably fit but still feel like he’s not muscular enough. And secondly getting to movie star levels of muscles is a massive time and lifestyle commitment that’s not exactly good for you. A well defined 6 pack will become less defined by doing things like properly hydrating. Starving yourself and constantly pushing your lifting schedule will get you seriously hurt. These actors are not living a healthy lifestyle and they have experts helping them stay in this shape.
It’s totally cool if some guys want that body and the lifestyle attached, I’ve known some people who loved the fact that they always knew what they were going to eat down to the gram, but if eating the exact same amount of the exact same thing every day spending several hours a day exercising isn’t your thing you shouldn’t feel ugly or like you’re failing to properly fulfill your gendered expectations.
As a woman with body dysmorphia I’m extremely sympathetic to these men because the resources to help me accurately gauge what a healthy weight is and to understand my experiences and cope with it without developing anorexia have been lifesavers. Men deserve similar resources and the ability to comfortably express the vulnerability that comes with it.
Because for one the expectation of how their body looks isn't organic. It's force-fed to them everyday on social media, in movies, magazines etc...
Genetics and drugs
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