this post was submitted on 28 Jan 2024
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Political Memes

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[–] [email protected] 158 points 1 year ago (1 children)

any bill around internet monitoring and censorship : saving the precious children from horrible paedophiles act of 20xx

any bill for actually taking care of the physical and intellectual well being of children : bill 50906-3

[–] [email protected] 86 points 1 year ago (2 children)

"Wow, you want to FEED kids to keep them in good health? I'd rather spy on everyone in the hopes of catching someone under 18 accessing 18+ material. That's where REAL good health comes from."

[–] [email protected] 33 points 1 year ago (3 children)

They care about their SPIRITUAL health. Physical health doesn't matter compared to an eternity of hellfire, you heathen.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 year ago

The suffering means we are doing it right!

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 year ago

Oh God, I'm having flashbacks to growing up in an evangelical community

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)

The sooner the kid dies the less likely they are to sin.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago

You're saying that once we figure out how to baptize unborn babies, abortion is back on the menu?

OK that was a joke but I'm curious how the more radical Christian groups would react to that. Like you can basically guarantee a soul an instant ticket to heaven, why wouldn't you? Though I guess you'd have to find whichever group actually genuinely believes the spiritual war stuff instead of using it as a cover for a demographic war.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 year ago

Ban abortion, also makes it illegal to find food to kids or homeless

[–] [email protected] 113 points 1 year ago

Anytime I see something like the Safe Children and Everyone Who Wants One Gets a Puppy Act I know my life is about to get worse

[–] [email protected] 89 points 1 year ago (3 children)

"The Sunshine Protection Act", oh is this some bill against pollution or something. "This bill makes daylight savings permanent."

Oh fuck off, that's too grandiose of a name for that. I mean I want that, but you aren't protecting sunshine ...

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I don't have a problem with that act having a grandiose name because axing daylight savings time is something I can totally get behind no matter where I am.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

Yes. I will finally only drive into the sun half the year instead of the whole year.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I always thought it was weird, that the one argument for Day Light Savings is that we get more sun. Someone can correct me, if I am wrong. I'm pretty sure the amount of daylight isn't magical dictated by clocks and time created by humans.

Abolish day light savings time. Stick to standard time like the rest of the world does.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago (4 children)

So like, in January, the sun sets at say around 5:15pm. With DST active, it would set at 6:15pm.

So there is more daylight after work or school gets out for most people.

Either way, the time change seems like it's not useful in today's age, so we should pick one.

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[–] [email protected] 49 points 1 year ago (2 children)

They also have to have a cute acronym, so it fits neatly into a headline:

  • FAPS (Free Affordable Pepsi Soda) Act
  • ANAL (Anyone who Needs it Always gets Licorice) Act
  • BROJOB (Best fRiends Only Jack-Off Best friends) Act
  • PUPPY (Pee Under People’s Pants Yearly) Act
[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 year ago

SODA (Scorn Owners of Dogs Act)

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I'm gonna vote in favor of ANAL.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago

Aren't we all?

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago

How else would the brown licorice industry survive?

[–] [email protected] 47 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (4 children)

It's wild this is even allowed in your country. You'd think a bill should relate to a single topic or area so you can actually vote on it, and people can easily see how reps voted on certain topics.

Right?

[–] [email protected] 21 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

But if they did that, how else would they be able to get money for some random project in their district. Or tack on something everyone is against because the optics of going against the stop Stop Child Rape bill are so bad.

If there is no answer for "how does this help a politician?" then it's probably not going to happen.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

The funny part is public initiatives are bound to this rule, depending where you live

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago

??? How am I supposed to get pork-barrel projects for my district? That would never work! People should be forced to vote for things they don't agree with to get things they do agree with. That's the American way.

[–] [email protected] 40 points 1 year ago

Also this bill bans soda

[–] [email protected] 31 points 1 year ago

Something something Patriot Act

[–] [email protected] 27 points 1 year ago

Ah, yes. Citizens United.

[–] [email protected] 20 points 1 year ago (3 children)

I've said it before and I'll say it again Democracy simply doesn't work

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 year ago (1 children)

for those who are downvoting, this is a simpsons reference about almost this exact same thing.

if you’re downvoting because it’s a simpsons reference, ouch!

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 year ago

First past the post representative "democracy" sure as hell doesn't.

I'm not certain it's a valid inference to throw all possible forms of truly democratic government through the drain along with it.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

It works quite well. And it could work much better than it does now in the US. But wealth inequality erodes the education and free time of the population entrusted with the responsibility of voting.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Oh silly you. This bill is called free soda for all because it's trying to free this dog that happens to be named soda.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago

And by "free," they mean "free from its mortal coil."

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

It's because Congress doesn't have a single subject rule.

43 states have it.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Single-subject_rule

E: There are some good reasons why Congress doesn't have it. First, Congress does soooooo much stuff that it might be utterly impossible to do it one subject at a time. That's why we have omnibus bills for things such as spending, which includes the budgets of all or most federal departments. Along with reconciliation and appropriations bills, it's how a lot of business gets done and how compromises are made. A single subject rule would clear up a lot of the pork, but night just grind things to a hault just by the shear number of bills that would have to be written, debated, and voted.

Another reason is that it opens a whole new category of litigation as to whether or not the title of the bill matches the subject of the bill; the standard is one of whether the title alone would give fair notice as to the range of subject matter in the bill.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Omnibus_bill

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pork_barrel

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[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

YES THE SUGAR FREE SODA ACT IS VERY IMPORTANT.

1$/L TAX FOR ALL SUGAR AND SUGAR REPLACEMENT AND JUICE. NO EXCEPTIONS.

Really, you don't need sugar for a good drink (unless distilled).

Ice cold lemonade from extract or mint from extract is LITERALLY only water.

Ps Drink room temp water and you won't even want any cold drinks ever again.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Room temp water tastes nasty as hell what are you talking about. Ice cold or go home.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Yeah, I really need answers about that one. My friend leaves his filtered water pitcher on the counter, and he also said it tasted better than from the fridge. Even on summer days when I biked over and was sweating buckets, I could barely stand drinking it. I would rather get it straight from the tap.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Well, it is indeed from the counter from a ten year old ceramic dispenser.

It keeps it moderately acceptable to drink, really. I live in hot Ecuador and no ac in main rooms except master bedroom

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Ps Drink room temp water and you won’t even want any cold drinks ever again.

It keeps it moderately acceptable to drink, really.

Wow, folded real quick there, huh?

Wait...

I live in hot Ecuador and no ac in main rooms

So you say room temperature, but really it's warm.

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