this post was submitted on 01 Apr 2024
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A collection of some classic Lemmy memes for your enjoyment

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submitted 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
 
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[–] [email protected] 130 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (6 children)

Also

Mark 10:17-25

The Rich Man

As he was setting out on a journey, a man ran up and knelt before him, and asked him, “Good Teacher, what must I do to inherit eternal life?” Jesus said to him, “Why do you call me good? No one is good but God alone. You know the commandments: ‘You shall not murder; You shall not commit adultery; You shall not steal; You shall not bear false witness; You shall not defraud; Honor your father and mother.’ ” He said to him, “Teacher, I have kept all these since my youth.” Jesus, looking at him, loved him and said, “You lack one thing; go, sell what you own, and give the money to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; then come, follow me.” When he heard this, he was shocked and went away grieving, for he had many possessions. Then Jesus looked around and said to his disciples, “How hard it will be for those who have wealth to enter the kingdom of God!” And the disciples were perplexed at these words. But Jesus said to them again, “Children, how hard it is to enter the kingdom of God! It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for someone who is rich to enter the kingdom of God.”

That was Palm Sunday lol. Fuckin murdered the guy later that week.

[–] [email protected] 34 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Nothing Christians hate more than people who are doing the exact same shit their supposed prophet did.

Almost like they're worshipping the cross rather than anyone who died on one.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (25 children)

A rope through the eye of a needle, I think they realised it was a mistranslation.

Edit: Biblical Greek "kámēlos" (camel) written in place of Biblical Greek "kámilos" (anchor rope/mooring cable). Neither are going to thread a needle, so I'm not sure what's bothering everybody.

[–] [email protected] 34 points 1 year ago (2 children)

It is an actual camel through the actual eye of a needle. The "rope" interpretation is a lie made in the past few hundred years to protect rich fucks.

[–] [email protected] 20 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

A thick rope does not fit through a needle any more than a camel. If I'd said it was a mistranslation of "silk thread" or something, you might have a point, but nobody is trying to defend the rich here.

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[–] [email protected] 26 points 1 year ago

I think there was a common saying “it’d be easier for an elephant to pass through the eye of a needle” to describe something really difficult. Camel was substituted in regions where they had camels but not elephants. Jesus was memeing irl for his local audience.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 1 year ago (2 children)

did you not read the context? He said to enter heaven rich people must sell their riches. Its obvious he's saying you can't be rich and faithful.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 year ago (3 children)

That's obviously what it says. No one is saying anything counter to that. A rope doesn't fit through the eye of a needle and a camel doesn't fit through the small gate it may have referred to. It's all the same meaning. We're just talking about what the literal thing being said was. They all effectively have the same meaning.

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[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

Okay but what if I'm, like, really good at exploiting child prison labor?

I can get to heaven then, right? Maybe if I have my child slave prisoners build me a big enough monument?

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Child prison labour? You mean you're providing shelter for orphans and creating jobs for them too? You're practically a saint according to supply-side Jesus.

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[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 year ago

Everyone's up in arms because it doesn't change the meaning at all. The point is its fucking impossible

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I mean, in the context of the passage it's pretty fucking clear that it isn't an easy thing to do. It doesn't matter if the saying was slightly off, the message is "give away all your possessions in order to follow Christ".

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[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 year ago (3 children)

100% and they try to change the word "mamon" to "money" in "the love of ~~money~~ mamon is the root of all evil."

Which they further interpret as "well, i don't love money. I just love the things it gets. Therefore, its all good."

I mean, if Jesus meant money, he would have used the Hebrew word for money and wouldn't have switched to an aramaic word that means "wealth, over and above what you need to exist."

However, you can't reconcile its actual meaning with American style supply-side Jesus.

Another interesting thing is how the bible tries to blame the Rabbis for Jesus death, doing it via the Romans. If the Rabbis wanted Jesus dead, they would have killed him and they would have done so by stoning him to death.

The Romans almost exclusively used crucifixion only on pirates, slaves or insurrectionists. Last I checked, there were no reports of Jesus being a slave or a pirate.

Palm Sunday was seen as the start of a movement and the Romans conspired to kill him for it and nip it in the bud. The rest is spin. Presuming Jesus was real in the first place, of course.

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[–] [email protected] 86 points 1 year ago (3 children)
[–] [email protected] 20 points 1 year ago

Hanging in there 👍

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago

Thats what I thought of immediately! :D

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[–] [email protected] 51 points 1 year ago (4 children)
[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 year ago (3 children)
[–] [email protected] 27 points 1 year ago

Good Omens on Amazon

[–] [email protected] 21 points 1 year ago (1 children)

"Good Omens" on Amazon Prime - originally a book by Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman!

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago

Except now the 2nd and 3rd seasons have moved past the book and are supposed to be based on ideas that Terry Pratchett had but never wrote into novels.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (4 children)

That would be from good omens season 2 (positive its good omens 70% sure it's season 2 edit, it was season 1.), it's produced and released by Amazon, based on works by Patchett and Gaiman (they had all 3 seasons storyboarded before patchett passed, and everything is produced with Gaimans final approval iirc) they are incredibly different stories, and both entirely consuming to watch.

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[–] [email protected] 48 points 1 year ago (4 children)

He also said he’s the son of God. If you say that today in the right place, you’ll still die for it.

[–] [email protected] 34 points 1 year ago

Depends on how charismatic you are. You do it right people will build giant gold-plated cathedrals in your honor and kill each other for the pleasure of seeing you smirk.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 year ago

Actually he did not. The whole "Jesus is the literal son of god" thing was invented by the churches some hundreds of years after Jeus was dead. In the same wake Jesus never spoke about the trinity, that god would have three aspects. That is also an invention of the churches to make christianity more palateable to polytheist pagans, in the same way that christmas was put next to the winter solstice and easter onto spring where it was mixed with pagan fertility deities, quite literally being named after the Germanic goddess of spring Eostre in Englisch or Ostera in German where easter is called Ostern.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Son_of_God_(Christianity)

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/First_Council_of_Nicaea

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Easter

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago (7 children)
[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Oh wow, nice to meet you.

Always been meaning to ask, why is your craftsmanship shite?

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[–] [email protected] 38 points 1 year ago (2 children)

"I'm God, your great great [...] great grandmother did something i didn't like so i hate you and plan to torture you for all eternity. Please execute me slowly and painfully so that i can forgive you!"

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[–] [email protected] 20 points 1 year ago (3 children)

And when he had made a scourge of small cords, he drove them all out of the temple, and the sheep, and the oxen; and poured out the changers’ money, and overthrew the tables; And said unto them that sold doves, Take these things hence; make not my Father’s house a house of merchandise.

— John 2:15–16

And Jesus went into the temple of God, and cast out all them that sold and bought in the temple, and overthrew the tables of the money changers, and the seats of them that sold doves, And said unto them, It is written, My house shall be called the house of prayer; but ye have made it a den of thieves.

— Matthew 21:12–13

"Now listen, you rich people, weep and wail because of the misery that is coming on you. Your wealth has rotted, and moths have eaten your clothes. Your gold and silver are corroded. Their corrosion will testify against you and eat your flesh like fire. You have hoarded wealth in the last days. Look! The wages you failed to pay the workers who mowed your fields are crying out against you. The cries of the harvesters have reached the ears of the Lord Almighty. You have lived on earth in luxury and self-indulgence. You have fattened yourselves in the day of slaughter. You have condemned and murdered the innocent one, who was not opposing you.

— James 5:1-6

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago

Jesus would have been on Lemmy

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[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 year ago (1 children)

What Jesus fails to appreciate is that it is the meek who are the problem!

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[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 year ago (1 children)

why does david tenant have snake eyes

[–] [email protected] 31 points 1 year ago (14 children)
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