this post was submitted on 09 Aug 2024
799 points (100.0% liked)

Greentext

6707 readers
686 users here now

This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
 
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] [email protected] 138 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (2 children)

> be me

> live in a relatively new part of town in the Netherlands

> bike 20 minutes to the city center

> no hills or mountains because netherlands

> See almost no cars because most bike routes are completely seperated and shorter than car routes

> Park my bike in a surveilled parking area funded by the city

> Do all my shopping for the day and return

> MFW my friends and family don't even realize how good we have it

[–] [email protected] 29 points 11 months ago (2 children)

So how easy is it for an American to move to the Netherlands? Asking for myself

[–] [email protected] 27 points 11 months ago (14 children)

If you are skilled labor, yes: https://www.expatica.com/nl/finance/taxes/the-dutch-30-ruling-explained-101641/

But what @abbadon420 said is equally true. Housing market's fucked beyond belief. Now, if you want to WFH and live out in the sticks, you'd be set.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 11 months ago (2 children)

Or you'll need to bring like 500k. No, that's not a joke.

load more comments (2 replies)
load more comments (13 replies)
[–] [email protected] 12 points 11 months ago (1 children)

I guess it's easy enough, but good luck finding a house.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 11 months ago

Scooby-Doo and the Case of the Missing Houses

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 100 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (10 children)

1 gal of gas: ~29k calories - $4.609
~29k calories of rice: ~$600 <-- sus math btw 🤔

It's simple: drink the gas.

 

okay, update:
my math was wrong. new cost of rice: ~$11.5 (ordering in bulk)

CONCLUSION
Drink the gas.

[–] [email protected] 39 points 11 months ago (1 children)

100 grams of raw white rice is 365 calories, meaning that it's about 3650 calories per kg. 29k calories of rice is 8 kilograms.

Where are you buying rice that it costs $75/kg???

[–] [email protected] 13 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

I did my math wrong lol

Found some at 66c/lb. Need 17.5 lbs. $11.5 👌

[–] [email protected] 30 points 11 months ago (2 children)

If you drink a whole canister of gas, that's enough to cover your nutritional needs for the rest of your life!

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 26 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (12 children)

Yeah but I don't have to carry an actual ton of weight on my bike.

Except when I'm taking yo mama home after date night

[–] [email protected] 17 points 11 months ago (1 children)

stfu nerd
My mom has lost a ton of weight and im v proud of her 😡

[–] [email protected] 10 points 11 months ago (3 children)

Okay I'm sorry that was mean

load more comments (3 replies)
load more comments (11 replies)
[–] [email protected] 12 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (1 children)

If you bike regularly, you actually don't spend more calories. You only see calorie burn uptick when first taking on new exercise, which falls off over time back to your usual normal calorie cost. Because of this, that calorie cost for a biker is calorie intake they'd already consume even if they didn't bike. It's essentially free, in contrast to the gas of the car which is always a cost.

Checkmate liberal. /s

[–] [email protected] 9 points 11 months ago (4 children)

You can't convince me of free energy

NICE TRY SCIENTOLOGY

load more comments (4 replies)
[–] [email protected] 12 points 11 months ago (3 children)

Taking this further, that $4.60 of gas will power the most efficient car for about an hour.

That $12 of rice is enough energy for you to power your bike for like 50 hours.

Conclusion: Just drive your car. Do you really want to waste 49 hours on your bike? /s

load more comments (3 replies)
load more comments (5 replies)
[–] [email protected] 72 points 11 months ago

Actual unironic gigachad moment

[–] [email protected] 57 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (4 children)

Be American

Living paycheck to paycheck

Need job

Good worker

Work overtime when needed

Trying to pay off car

Smug biker does a driveby near open car window

Rethink my life

Realize U.S. infrastructure often requires vehicles

In middle of daily 40min commute, one way

Realize the same distance on bike would be two hours

Depresso

[–] [email protected] 33 points 11 months ago (6 children)

This is why we need good public transit on top of good biking infrastructure. The two working together let's you get anywhere a car can go while not taking a lot longer.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 11 months ago (8 children)

I miss Japan's public transport. Never felt like I needed a car while in the city.

load more comments (8 replies)
load more comments (5 replies)
[–] [email protected] 13 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (1 children)

Get a closer job or move closer to your job if it's a good reliable job. I did and it's fucking wonderful! Riding gets easier and easier as you get stronger and better cardio too.

Took me a long time, a lot of work, and some luck but I can't recommend it enough. Most days I ride my bike or skateboard, but even walking doesn't take long. I only resort to a car if I'm too injured to ride/skate/walk far or the weather makes it too dangerous (which is rare, I've ridden through more storms than I can count lol, icy conditions suck though).

Damnit, now I want to go for a ride.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (1 children)

>just get a job closer to your home
>just move

Idk man, not sure either of those are the easy solutions you're implying them to be.

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (2 replies)
[–] [email protected] 52 points 11 months ago (1 children)

> be me

> be downtown on bicycle

> actual protected bike lanes

> zipping past hundreds of people that decided to drive for some reason

> bumper to bumper traffic

> road capacity literally maxed out

> honking and yelling at almost every intersection

pic related

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 52 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

And park directly in the immediate front of the building I'm visiting. No circling around and around without finding a space to park my overly expensive rust box. Just arrive, lock the bike to a post and be there.

Totally different experience in that aspect alone.

[–] [email protected] 42 points 11 months ago (3 children)

Be me

Download Pokemon Go

Start running to work

Gotta catch them all

4 months later run a 50K

"What was your training like?"

"I dunno, run more?"

(true story back in 2022)

[–] [email protected] 17 points 11 months ago

Bro pokemon WENT

[–] [email protected] 10 points 11 months ago (2 children)

You might want to check out walkscape to run even more

load more comments (2 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 28 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (4 children)

Ngl, I have a nice ass and legs. Nice compliments, too! It's worth it to bike everywhere if your city allows it

I forgot to mention that the cost of repairs is also dirt cheap here.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 11 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 41 points 11 months ago (1 children)

I'll let these babes do the talkin'

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (3 replies)
[–] [email protected] 25 points 11 months ago

Given that's a greentext, legitimately expected anon to somehow get injured or killed by some not paying attention driver on unsafe road or something. Glad he didn't.

[–] [email protected] 22 points 11 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (4 children)

My job is 15 mountainy miles away, and when I show up drenched in bicycle sweat everyone in the office says I smell bad

[–] [email protected] 33 points 11 months ago (6 children)

People shouldn't live that far away from their workplaces. They didn't used to, before we invented shitboxes.

load more comments (6 replies)
[–] [email protected] 12 points 11 months ago (5 children)

You could get a decent e-bike?

load more comments (5 replies)
load more comments (2 replies)
[–] [email protected] 22 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (2 children)

Me unironically wanting to do this

100F outside most of the year because Florida (that's 38C for you europoors)

Have to wake up at 4am before sunset to be able to ride at all

work at 9

Can't into roadbike :(

[–] [email protected] 9 points 11 months ago (2 children)

It would take me 3 hours to get to work on a bike, and 3 hours home. I’d love to be able to do it, but Vancouver is expensive and I don’t want to waste my free time biking in 30° weather

load more comments (2 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 13 points 11 months ago (6 children)

I always wanted to learn how to ride a bike. Always looked like fun.

load more comments (6 replies)
[–] [email protected] 10 points 11 months ago (7 children)

Have fun commuting 30 miles to work on that thing. Especially when there's 8 or 10 inches of snow, -10 wind-chill, or there's a thunderstorm rolling in. I've seen people do it; they look absolutely fucking miserable and it's a miracle it doesn't kill them.

[–] [email protected] 24 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Enter the saviour of the commuter - trains.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 18 points 11 months ago (2 children)

sees happy person

gets mad

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] [email protected] 13 points 11 months ago

Respect to those folks. A miserable ride is often rewarding because it's one of those lows that is eminently temporary and gives you an appreciation for the highs, especially if you are dressed appropriately so as not to catch a cold or some such. Kind of like shoveling snow for that sweet sweet mug of hot chocolate on the sofa afterwards. But yeah, also a good city will provide alternative options for its citizens, trains, buses, rideshare even. If a 30 mile bike ride is the only alternative to driving from place A to place B, your government doesn't want you to have any kind of freedom to choose how you get from place A to place B, if there are no affordable housing options or good job opportunities that change that equation, your government is working on behalf of the big car manufacturers and dealers to keep you enslaved in debt to them, which is pretty fucked up

[–] [email protected] 9 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (10 children)

You may have misread the history. The man is having fun with his current commute and he does not seems to be looking for some sort of a change in his routine.

load more comments (10 replies)
load more comments (3 replies)
load more comments
view more: next ›