this post was submitted on 17 Oct 2024
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My hero (lemmy.world)
submitted 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
 

Probably not the first time this has made it's rounds but this was the first time I've seen this story.

Edit: sorry, thought it included the link. https://dailynewsreported.com/positive-affirmations/woman-chases-jehovahs-witnesses-down-the-street-yelling-succumb-to-my-devil-vagina-magic/ I have to shamefully admit I ate the onion

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[–] [email protected] 68 points 5 months ago

🎢 There goes my hero, watch her as she goes.🎢

[–] [email protected] 62 points 5 months ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 9 points 5 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 14 points 5 months ago

Shiny and firefox

[–] [email protected] 8 points 5 months ago
[–] [email protected] 61 points 5 months ago

That face just screams "Do what you must, I've already won".

Awesome

[–] [email protected] 30 points 5 months ago

Exercise this snatch, bitches.

[–] [email protected] 25 points 5 months ago (2 children)

You can also chase them off your property by saying you've been excommunicated, and they'll never come back.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 5 months ago (2 children)

Considering that's not the term they use, it would not be very effective. They would know you're lying.

[–] [email protected] 39 points 5 months ago (5 children)

Since you didn't actually provide a good response, it's called disfellowshipped.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Thank you!!!! I just need to figure out their term in Portuguese now and I'll be golden here in Brazil and when I finally move in with my BFs in the USA

[–] [email protected] 2 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (1 children)

desassociação

As an organization that's all about missionary work, they predictably very good with having a translation for everything to every language.

e.g. https://www.jw.org/en/library/magazines/w20150415/disfellowshipping-a-loving-provision/

[–] [email protected] 2 points 5 months ago

Thank you very much!!! That is incredibly helpful!! Now I'm actually excited for the next time they come knocking! Shame I didn't know this last sunday when they passed by my house, but now I know!!

[–] [email protected] 4 points 5 months ago
[–] [email protected] 4 points 5 months ago

It's actually dishonorably dismounted.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

Still won't work. It's just not worth trying to remember it, and thus not worth mentioning the term.

It's more nuanced than that. You can't be disfellowshipped unless you were baptized as a JW, which you can tell if someone was or not. That's just not something you can easily lie about. At best you can say you were "disassociated", but that's not worth that either.

You're better off just saying "put me on your do not call list" than trying to come up with a lie like that.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 5 months ago

Thank you! My old coworkers were all JW, but I forgot the word and used the protestant equivalent.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 5 months ago

Or you were so bad of a practitioner that you didn't even bother to learn what it was called

[–] [email protected] 9 points 5 months ago

No no, what you do is you ask them if they know why the church is making them go door to door. When they say "to spread the word of God" you correct them. "No, they know that going door to door won't get new members of your church because doing so is rude. They want people to get mad at you and treat you poorly so that you run back to your church saying how mean everyone was. That's when they pull YOU in closer. You're being played." It won't save their souls from the cult, but it plants a seed of doubt. And if they go back and tell the church what you said, you'll be put on a list of houses to not return to.

[–] [email protected] 22 points 5 months ago (3 children)

Is that a mug shot? She was arrested for being the hero we all need?

[–] [email protected] 27 points 5 months ago (2 children)

No, it's not real. The original source is a satirical news site. Sorry friends.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 5 months ago (1 children)

The original source is a satirical news site

Well, that would have been nice to know! LOL The screenshot and post gives no context of where this story came from.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 5 months ago

Oh shit, you're right. I thought it included the link but I fucking ate the onion :(

[–] [email protected] 1 points 5 months ago

Oh shit, you're right. I though I included the link. I ate the onion :(

[–] [email protected] 12 points 5 months ago
[–] [email protected] 8 points 5 months ago

Public indecency, I'm guessing. Some people have a stick up their arse about nudity, which is decidedly on the unpleasant side of the butt fun scale.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (1 children)

I answered the door naked once (I was enroute to the shower), they haven't bothered me since.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Had a friend who did that after getting out of shower one morning. He was headed to bed after a twelve hour shift and they had woke him up three Saturdays in a row. He was 5'8'' and around 160 pounds but we called him Big Ed. Guess why?

[–] [email protected] 3 points 5 months ago

I'm guessing he had big teeth? /s

[–] [email protected] 12 points 5 months ago

Give her a medal.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 5 months ago

remember that no matter how crazy you are, there are crazier

[–] Worx 8 points 5 months ago (5 children)

Or just ask them to put you on the "do not call" list and they shouldn't bother you again for several years.

[–] [email protected] 108 points 5 months ago (2 children)

Studies consistently show that devil vagina magic is the more effective solution.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 5 months ago

I wish I could've participated in that study, I love magic!

DVM: *Pulls out seemingly endless scarves*

Me: *Claps gleefully*

DVM: *Makes my head spin around 3 times*

Me: I didn't like that one as much

DVM: *Makes a quarter appear*

Me: I'm still dizzy from that last trick. Can you give me a second?

[–] [email protected] 8 points 5 months ago

I know devil vagina magic has caught me up a few times

[–] [email protected] 26 points 5 months ago (2 children)

Nah. Keep you religion to yourself, regardless of your religion, and especially at my residence during my personal time.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 5 months ago

It's one thing to preach in public, but gtf off my lawn!

As a millennial, my heart still stops when the door rings, obviously it's the police or something or I would have gotten a text. I should have bought a house without a front door

[–] [email protected] 7 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (1 children)

TST shouldn’t doorknock to spread the word about their services?!

[–] [email protected] 3 points 5 months ago

Which part of "regardless of your religion" did you not understand?

[–] [email protected] 10 points 5 months ago

That "shouldn't" is doing a lot of heavy lifting there.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Yeah, and I also keep weeds out of my garden by shouting at them and squirls out of my trees with signs that say: no squirrels

[–] [email protected] 6 points 5 months ago (1 children)

My friends leave my garden when I shout at my weeds. I must be yelling the wrong words

[–] [email protected] 9 points 5 months ago

Have you tried devil vagina magik though?

[–] [email protected] 1 points 5 months ago

You could just tell them you're an apostate.

Those they actively avoid.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 5 months ago

My dad's brother just kept answering the door naked and they stopped coming back. Her devil vagina magic might have worked if she was cute.