this post was submitted on 30 Nov 2024
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Not The Onion

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[–] ApeNo1@lemm.ee 268 points 3 months ago (1 children)

“Dear Mars, I was unable to enjoy my recently purchased Mars Bar as it was missing the trademark thick veins running down its shaft.”

[–] SquiffSquiff@lemmy.world 135 points 3 months ago (2 children)

"Dear BBC, thanks for the illustrated article on our product. Our advertising and PR manager says it's the best £2 we've spent all year'

[–] teft@lemmy.world 43 points 3 months ago (2 children)

Are you thanking the Big Black...Candybar or the British Broadcasting Corporation?

[–] gressen@lemm.ee 18 points 3 months ago
[–] Hadriscus@lemm.ee 4 points 3 months ago (1 children)
[–] moosetwin@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 3 months ago
[–] ApeNo1@lemm.ee 4 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

It certainly does feel like they are pushing their confectionary product down our throats.

Edit: grammar

[–] BananaPeal@sh.itjust.works 40 points 3 months ago (3 children)

Fun fact: the Mars bar is marketed as a Milky Way in the U.S. There was a Mars bar in the U.S., but it had almonds. It has since been rebranded as Snickers Almond.

[–] Theoriginalthon@lemmy.world 23 points 3 months ago (1 children)

So what's a milky way advertised as?

[–] spearz@lemmy.world 21 points 3 months ago (2 children)
[–] TotesIllegit@lemmy.world 14 points 3 months ago

American here; you're spot on. The US/Mexico version of the Milky Way bar has a layer of caramel in addition to the nougat, and 3 Musketeers is essentially the global version of Milky Way. Our bars may be also bigger in size.

[–] KittenBiscuits@lemm.ee 11 points 3 months ago (1 children)

The Milky Way and the Mars bar were both created by the same person. And the Milky Way was created about 12 years earlier in Chicago. Forrest Mars went off to start his own Mars candy division in the UK after a fight with his dad.

I had a client that had a Mars heir as a client, and knew they were based in the DMV. I was curious how an American candy company with a candy bar named after the family ended up being created in the UK.

[–] NeatoBuilds@mander.xyz 15 points 3 months ago (1 children)

How did they get an office in the department of motor vehicles

[–] toynbee@lemmy.world 6 points 3 months ago (1 children)

They didn't, they're just in the Delaware/Maryland/Virginia area.

[–] kryndis@lemmings.world 13 points 3 months ago

DMV stands for D.C./Maryland/Virginia in that context and refers to the D.C. metropolitan area.

What you're thinking of is the Eastern Shore peninsula, which is called Delmarva and is made up of parts of those three states.

[–] roguetrick@lemmy.world 38 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (1 children)

You can't tell me this isn't the exact way you'd expect this guy to look. He said he's gonna use his 2 quid settlement for more mars bars. I'm comforted.

[–] m4xie@lemmy.blahaj.zone 11 points 3 months ago

Excellent choice. I would.

[–] muntedcrocodile@lemm.ee 28 points 3 months ago (1 children)

A mars bar with no dick vein. Welp at leat the bloke got 2 pound(ing)s compensation.

[–] Maalus@lemmy.world 6 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (1 children)
[–] muntedcrocodile@lemm.ee 5 points 3 months ago

I will laugh my ass off if they do remove it for real tho. Thats when we know cancel culture has gone too far.

[–] AmidFuror@fedia.io 21 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Great. Now that Mars buckled, everyone will be suing over their smooth candies. They may have made this case go away, but they'll soon be out tens, maybe even hundreds of pounds.

[–] SquiffSquiff@lemmy.world 10 points 3 months ago

Yup. Obviously a smooth brained idea

[–] TempermentalAnomaly@lemmy.world 17 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Great. When did Mars go woke?

[–] carpelbridgesyndrome@sh.itjust.works 9 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Tucker Carlson demands the return of the throbbing dick vein to the demasculated Mars bar.

[–] TempermentalAnomaly@lemmy.world 1 points 3 months ago

Only then will Musk arrive on Mars.

[–] BearGun@ttrpg.network 15 points 3 months ago

Now this is the kind of hard-hitting journalism I'm here for

[–] cmgvd3lw@discuss.tchncs.de 11 points 3 months ago

Ironic that BBC reported it.

[–] jagged_circle@feddit.nl 11 points 3 months ago

Did they make him break it in two and mail it back first?

[–] PriorityMotif@lemmy.world 8 points 3 months ago
[–] Dasus@lemmy.world 7 points 3 months ago

I used to send a complaint for faulty products to companies in my late teens/early 20's as I was low on money. Like once I got some energy drink in a bottle made for Pepsi. Same volume, no difference, but a mistake, so got 5€ for it so "won" like 3€ for that. I'd pick out products like that if I saw them in a shop for that very purpose.

Once I genuinely was annoyed though, as a soft drink company that filled the vending machine at our school had filled it wrong and I got what was essentially Fanta he I wanted an energy drink and it was fucking hard waking up that morning.

[–] LovableSidekick@lemmy.world 4 points 3 months ago

"Dull Men's Club" must be code for Mad Lads

[–] olafurp@lemmy.world 1 points 3 months ago

He could have asked them for 100 to send the factory code.